'PAGE TLS' THE MICHIGAN DAILY TUESDAY, NOVEMBER I6, 1965 PAGE TEN FIlE MICHIGAN DAILY TUESDAY. NOVEMBER 16, 1965 LLOYD GRAFF Could Even The Beatles Have Asked for More This letter came in the mail last Friday in an envelope held together with red sealing wax dripped in the shape of a heart. There was no return address. Dear Lloyd, This is to inform you of the organization of the newly-formed "LLOYD GRAFF, WE LOVE YOU, FAN CLUB." We wish to explain the ceremonies of our club. 1) Intense contemplation of your column in every Daily we stumble across. We even rummage through garbage cans. 2) Recitation three times daily, facing East of the Five Pillars of Devotion: a) Lloyd Graff is witty. b) Lloyd Graff is heavy on the smarts. c) Lloyd Graff is a True Seeker of Knowledge. d) Lloyd Graff knows what counts. e) Lloyd Graff is darling. EVERYBODY'S HOPEFUL: Grid World Buzzes About Bowls By The Associated Press Berths in the other major bowls, sidetracked by a loss to Texas the Sugar Bowl with Missouri. Post-season bowl bid specula- however, are not nearly as clear- Tech Saturday. Georgia Tech and Missouri have tions are at a premium now that cut. If the Razorbacks do win, they already accepted their respective will face either Tennessee or Au- invitations. ishe egular season is nearly fin- Nebraska, first of all, upset the burn. Florida and Tulsa also remain s applecart by rejecting a return Texas Tech, on the other hand, hopeful for proposals from bowl Michigan State, clinching the performance in the Cotton Bow could wind up the in th Gato comttees o take part in the Big en row wih aperect7-0in favor of a bid to the Orange Bowl against Georgia Tech or in New Year's Day fun. record, has earned a trip to Pasa- Bowl. Alabama, from all indica--- dena and the Rose Bowl. All that tions, will tangle with the Corn- remains to insure the appearance huskers in the Orange Bowl, if itCee tg of the Spartans in the Battle oft by Aubu Roses is the formality of votinggesrintsfalamc- by the conference coaches. MSU's opponent should be either Southern California or UCLA, de- pending upon the outcome of Sat- urday's encounter between the two teams. The winner of the tussle will also claim a share of the Pacific conference title. Cotton Bids Sticky The Cotton Bowl situation has even more if's attached, with at' least four prospective candidates. Defending champion Arkansas, a 10-7 winner over Nebraska last year, appears to be in the driver's seat but could theoretically get BIG EIGHT Nebraska Missouri Colorado Oklahoma Iowa State Kansas Oklahoma State Kansas State W L 6 0 5 1 4 2 3 2 3 3 2 4 0 5 Q 6 GRID SELECTIONS I 'r 0 I a 0 0 0 T 0 0 U 0 0 ,i A AL F.o Mi G T V anderbilt 1 4 { SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE W L' uburn 4 0 1 labania 5 1 lorida 4 2 1 ississippi 4 3I eorgia 3 3 1 ennessee 1 1 SU 2 3 ississippi State 1 4 1 'ulane 1 4 1 T I -l x 0 a 2 0 0 The total membership of the LLOYD GRAFF, WE LOVE YOU, Please don't enter Grid Picks if you can possibly resist the FAN CLUB, proudly affixes its signatures below. almost overpowering urge, You see the sports staff is burdened by Your devoted disciples, examinations, and the more entries the more grading, and the more Barb grading the more flunk outs. Our staff is thin enough, so kindly Susi don't enter. If you find it physiologically impossible to stay out of the contest like last week's winnei Gregg Guffrey of 414 S. Division Letter to My Fans you might win a pair of tickets to the Michigan Theatre, now playing "Bunny Lake Is Missing." But it probably isn't worth the trouble. SOUTHWEST CONFERENCE W L Arkansas 6 0 Texas Tech 5 1 SmU 3 2 TCU 3 2 Texas 2 4 Rice 1 4 Baylor 1 4 Texas A & M 1 5 PACIFIC CONFERENCE WI Southern California UCLA Washington State Washington California Stanford Oregon State Oregon 4 { 3 0 2 0 3 3 2 2 1 3 0 3 0 4 L 0 T 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 711 r RUSTED? 1. If you have three apples, and you want to divide them among four of you, how much does each one get? One apiece. I don't like apples. I7 3. What are you going to do with all that knowledge? Do you need calculus to manufacture fortune cookies? 5. At Equitable, they even pay you for passing actuarial exams. You're putting me on. 2. You're not much for math either. On the contrary. I once went through a whole semester of calculus- after Phys. Ed. closed on me during registration; 4. You might become an actuary. It's a challenging, responsible job-and you can make a lot of dough. A big income is one of my fondest ambitions. 6. It's true. When you pass an actuarial exam, you get an automatic increase in your Equitable salary. And since there are ten exams, you could be making quite a bundle aftera while. But don't get involved unless you have an interest in math. Dear Devoted Disciples, With all modesty I must ask you girls why it took so long to form this organization. After all I've been writing this column for almost three months.. But, I'll overlook the fact that it's overdue, and say thank you, anyway. But why, oh why, didn't you enclose your address. I've had life- size autographed pictures that say "With all my love, Lloyd," sitting in my desk for weeks. They'll only cost you five bucks each, a pittance for a picture of me. And I've got fifty Coke bottles I've sipped from, that I'll give away for a dollar apiece. But really, Barb and Susi (whatever your last names are) you've changed my life. Before the fan club I accepted B's on exams, and tolerated the snide jabs of colleagues on the editorial staff. But now with an image to protect I've become intensely competitive in class, conniving for every last brownie point, and I refuse to even converse with an edit staffer unless he shows me proper deference and addresses me as mister. Now that I have a following, it takes me days just to answer my voluminous correspondence. Personal appearances and speaking en- gagements to plug my latest column consume many more hours each week. And it's getting terribly embarrassing in class when my pro- fessors demand an explanation of why the football team lost be- fore they'll start the discussions. And my concentration advisor won't OK my program unless I make a bet with him (he names the odds) on Saturday's game. Little Time To Write With fame impinging on me from all sides I've even considered hiring a ghost writer. Actually, I'm just too busy pampering my image to fool around with petty toilings like sportswriting. I've always considered modesty to be my golden quality. I'm that one rare soul out of millions who boasts to everybody of his humility, yet retains it, all the while.Every other person I've known who cackles about his own modesty is a blaring braggart who's slightly self- conscious about his own braggadocio. It's marvelous to be truly humble because you can look dowi your snoot at all the showoffs. Well, Barb and Susi, continue reciting the Five Pillars of De- votion, particularly the second and fifth which are so deliciously accurate. I give you permission to dream about me at night, but you must always picture me at a typewriter. And remember, a lifesize photo of your beloved can be yours for a mere five dollars. With All My Love, Your Ideal, Lloyd I gM M 1. Ohio State at MICHIGAN (pick score) 2. Michigan State at Notre Dame 3. Illinois at Northwestern 4. Purdue at Indiana 5. North Carolina St. at Iowa 6. Wisconsin at Minnesota 7. Dartmouth at Princeton 8. Tennessee at Kentucky 9. Missouri at Kansas 10. SMU at Baylor 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. California at Stanford UCLA at Southern Cal . Texas Tech at Arkansas North Carolina at Duke Oregon State at Oregon Penn State at Pittsburgh Wash. State at Washington Clemson at South Carolina Rice at Texas Christian Livingstone at Johnson C. Smith i -'3 t} ; ; } FOR ALL YOUR FORMAL NEEDS! TUXEDOS - WHITE DINNER JACKETS WEDDI NGS-PROMS. -DANCES "Special Student Rates" :, Y+;, { f I I 1 Don't trade the old car in just because a little rust is spoiling its appearance. We can make those rust spots disappear like magic. . Your old car will look like new. Stop in today for a free estimate. k 0-L-D-S-M-0-B- --E jr , 1,,, MA RK .:r USED CARS PETITIONING IS NOW OPEN FOR MEMBERSHIP ON JOINT JUDICIARY COUNCIL AND COMMITEE ON STANDARDS AND CONDUCT !I i Q RUSSELL'S TUXEDO RENTAL SERVICE 1230 Packard N 110 5-4549 j Petitions accepted to Nov. 17, 1965 Interviews: Nov. 21, 22, 1965 My mother didn't name me Archimedes for nothing. For career opportunities at Equitable, see your Placement Officer, or write to Patrick Scollard, Manpower Development Division. The EQUITABLE Life Assurance Society of the United States Home Office: 1285 Ave, of the Americas, New York, N. Y. 10019 C Equitable 1965 An Equal Opportunity Employer .0 E1 I Second Coming has come .0. A Art Barbara A.K. Adams Shu-Chung Lillian Wu Fiction + The franc is local currency in Tahiti. So is this. Marc Simmons James TorrensS.J. Martha MacNeal Zweig 4, our antrone dry cleaning Barry Silverblatt H.R. Wolf Leading manufacturers of fine fashions recom- mend our Sanitone drycleaning process be- cause it provides the most thorough cleaning with the gentlest of care for even your most fragile garments. For prolonging the life and good looks of your clothes, try our Sanitone Photography Ted Grossbart Peter McDonough Non-Fiction Robert Sheff and and Mark Slobin ''i'.'"?ifx 3,'<'.;:'o ?ki s'i-:: =:'rf'.'ti :i wv}:" :. " >'":R'}.:i2;>i>s:z:22ss>?>ry:::;; ;::.'";i S:;cS s::+2c::"2 s=" :% := I ii I