FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1967
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
PAGE NIZ;E
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1967 THE MICHIGAN DAILY PAGE NINE
the kitchen cynic
RICK STERN
Questions and
Answers
Twins, Red Sox Remain
Deadlocked
IT
e:
0
i
Herbert John Denning died last night at the age of 73. That's
more years than a dragon fly but less than a snapping turtle of t
some repute. C
r
Question: Do snapping turtles eat dragon flies and what would f
have been the outcome if the reverse were true?
p
Answer: Denning wouldn't have lived 5 ,seconds longer. s
Sitting in the mug there was 14 cows, each uglier than the next.
The liscentious student let his mind wander and all sorts of images
came to his mind. He became erotically stimulated but, alas, by the i
time he went to gratify his urge, the cows had vanished into thinner
air then psychedelic helium.
Question: Oh ... Mr. Johnny Rebeck, how could you be so mean? T
a
Answer: It's easy to construct Mephistophelian machines for
slicing sacred cows. I wasn't being mean. I just can't stand a
goddam prevert. i
it
Sitting on the deck of the Golden Gate Bridge were three hippies w
-Stuyvesant, Propter Hoc, and Goldy Locks. As they sat, their minds d
wandered, smoothly, in unison out over the bay to the green lands t
beyond. Their deviant prayers echoed in cadence off the tail arching
spans of the bridge. The amount of prayer was greater than that of d
all the drivers in the cars that had gone over it in the years of its
existence.
h
Question: How old is the Golden Gate Bridge? i
Answer: None of them knew and thus failed to grasp the
significance of the event. Goldy Locks had long blond hair and
came from Yankton, South Dakota, to see the coast.
Captain Sigsag sailed the seven seas for many years. But he never 1
grew rich, always poorer. One time hiring another crew, his 103rd, F
the men revolted and threw him vengefully overboard. He swam 1
valiantly towards the rainbow of his image, cursing them and blaming
Senior Lifesaving.
Question: Was the man Dylan Thomas's cousin and if he wasn't
rich, why didn't he sink?
Answer: Zeta Beta Tau.
* * * *
The "Fortune Cookie" was a drab, execrable dungeon on the south
side of Erie, Pennsylvania. Peter first went their when he was 14
and learned slowly, the secrets of the tropical fish and the Belgian
Waffles that sold exclusively with the dank walls. Eventually he came
to own and run the business. He became evil and happy. One morning
the shop was gone. Peter cried for 31 days.
Question: What is esoteric about this vignette?
Answer: No dungeon is truly execrable. And we know only
very little about Peter. They say he wasn't insured. Otherwise,
everything.
In the days when 'knighthood was in flower, people grew out
of each other as fast as swords could be manufactured. Cruel wars
raged. Various Johnnies had to fight. Obscure pedantic professors
took notes furiously, waiting centuries to bore obscure pedantic stu-
r ents. There was one Johnny who wouldn't fight.
Question: Why not? There was a war raging.
Answer: Lynda Bird said "don't." This was trite. Associations
of blood however, caused him like all the others, to make an
essentially miserable choice, on-
ly the misery came on the other
side of his romantic fence. In
short he broke the sword to
bloody peaces.
Thoughts for the day: 1) Wis-
dom is the accumulation of ob-
scenity built upon the study of
gross anatomy.
2) Where love is, there God is
also . . . waiting for his turn.
3) No dungeon is truly execrable.
Coming next: "The Origin of
the Flower Children" or "Post
Hoe ergo Propter Hoc."
ii
MINNEAPOLIS - ST. PAUL. - The Indians got back one run in Other GaInes
[armon Killebrew and Tony Oli- the sixth, when Rich Scheinblum
a slammed successive home runs walked, Chuck Hinton singled with In other action, Tim Cullen's
in the sixth inning yesterday, pow- two out-the second hit off Boston two-out single in the 11th inning
Bring Minnesota to a 4-0 victory starter Gary Bell-and Tony Hor- drove in Ken McMullen with the
over Kansas City behind Jim Mer- ton followed with a single to right winning run, giving Washington a
itt's two.hit pitching. center. 4-3 victory over Baltimore last
It was the Twins' fourth straight The Red Sox boosted their mar- night.
riumph, achieved at the expense gin with two more runs in the iMcNullen doubled with two-out t
f the Athletics' ninth loss in a seventh, when Bell aided his own inframe,and after Casanova. e-
uw. It kept them tied with Boston cause with a double. encame to with the winning
Tor the American League lead. Jose Tartabull tripled, scoring single.
ace Detroit, both idle yesterday, Bell, and a single by Andrews--his The Orioles tied the game in the
lipped one game and one and a third hit - brought Tartabull eighth on Frank Robinson's triple
half games back, respectively, racing home. off the top of the rail in right
Chuck Dobson checked the
Twins on four singles through five
nnings, until Killebrew and Oliva r ID SELECTIONS
unloaded in the sixth.
Cesar Tovar launched the
Twins' three-run rally by drawing Apparently somebody knows something.
leadoff walk on a 3-2 pitch. Big Ten Commissioner Bill Reed, this weeks' guest selector for
Killebrew followed with his 40th The Daily Grid Picks contest, has betrayed the Western Conference
home run of the season, a tower- by actually picking TCU to tie Iowa and Miami (Fla) to out and
ng blast 430 feet into the pavilion
n left-center field. out defeat Northwestern. Does Reed have some inside information?
Then Oliva stepped up and Is all for naught?
whacked an opposite field line Think twice about your selections. Maybe three times. But don't
drive, which carried 370 feet into wait past midnight tonight or you can't win two Cottage Inn pizzas
the pavilion in left. It was Oliva's and two tickets to the Michigan Theatre. (Next week we're giving
17th homer and second is an many away SGC.)
days. ----.
I
and Brooks Robinson's sacrifice
fly.
* *
At St. Louis. Tito Francona's
run-scoring single in the ninth in-
ning broke a tie and Atlanta went
on to a 4-2 victory over the Cards.
Felix Millan led off the inning
with a bunt single and moved to
second on Woody Woodward's sa-
crifice. Joel Hoerner replaced Ron
Willis on the mound for the Cards
and gave up Francona's hit.
After a walk to Gary Geiger,
Hank Aaron's sacrifice fly drove
in another run.
AMERICAN LEAGUE
W L Pet. GB
Minnesota 88 66 .571 -
Boston 88 66 .571 -
Chicago 87 67 .565 1
Detroit 86 67 .562 1 z
California 78 73 .517 8 2
Cleveland 72 83 .465 16'.
Baltimore 71 82 .464 26?,,
Washington 71 82 A464 16!
New York 66 87 .431 21
Kansas City 59 93 .388 28
YESTERDAY'S RESULTS
Minnesota 4, Kansas City 8
Boston 6, Cleveland 5
6Washington 4, Baltimore 3 (11 inn)
Only games scheduled
NATIONAL LEAGUE
x-st. Louis
San Francisco
Cincinnati
Chicago
Philadelphia
Pittsburgh
Atlanta
Los Angeles
Houston
New York
96
83
83
52
78
76
75
69
63
57
L
58
68
70
72
73
77
78
83
89
94
Pct. GB
.622 -
.550 11!i
.542 12
.532 14
.517 16'A
.497 1912
.490 20 j
.454 26
.414 32
.377 3712
Major League Standings
x-Clinched pennant.
YESTERDAY'S RESULTS
Atlanta 4, St. Louis 2
Only game scheduled
FennepLY
ALWAYS FIRST QUALITY
Bob Allison ducked out of the
way of a high inside pitch, then
aced a double -to left-center fin-
shing Dobson.
Bosox by Onea
CLEVELAND - Dalton Jones.
lined a two-run single in Boston's
three-run sixth inning and the
Red Sox went on to defeat Cleve-
land 6-5 last night to hang onto
a share of the lead.
The Red Sox nursed a 1-0 lead
into the sixth off Cleveland starter
Steve Hargan. Walks to Mike An-
drews and Carl Yastrzemski,
George Scott's sacrifice, and an
intentional pass to Reggie Smith
filled the bases.
Then stay tuned for the next version of "The Wind Amongst
the Reed."
THIS WEEK'S GAMES
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Duke at MICHIGAN (Score)
Notre Dame at California
Penn State at Navy
Houston at Michigan State
Kentucky at Indiana
Utah at Minnesota
TCU at Iowa
Wisconsin at Washington
Northwestern at Miami (Fla)
Purdue at Texas A & M
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
Illinois at Florida
Florida State at Alabama
Syracuse at Baylor
N. Mexico at Brigham Young
Dayton at Cincinnati
Mississippi St. at Georgia
Temple at Kings Point
SMU at Missouri
Texas at Southern California
St. Lawrence at Bates
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Jones' single
and Yastrzemski,
it home for the
wild pitch.
scored Andrews
and Smith made
third run on a
CLARK NORTON, Sports Editor-Michigan, Notre Dame, Penn State, Mich-
igan State, Indiana, Minnesota, TCU, Washington, iMami (Fla), Purdue, Illinois,
Alabama, Syracuse, New Mexico, Dayton, Georgia, Temple, SMU, Southern Cal.
Bates.
BOB McFARLAND, Executive Sports Editor-Michigan, Notre Dame, Penn
State, Michigan State, Kentucky, Minnesota, TCU, Washington, Miami (Fla),
Purdue, Illinois, Alabama, Syracuse, Brigham Young, Dayton, Georgia, Temple,
SMU, Southern Cal, Bates.
RICK STERN, Associate Sports Editor-Michigan, Notre Dame, Navy, Mich-
igan State, Indiana, Minnesota, TCU, Washington, Northwestern, Purdue, Illi-
nois, Alabama, Syracuse, New Mexico, Cincinnati, Georgia, Temple, Missouri,
Southern Cal, St. Lawrence.
GRAYLE HOWLETT, Associate Sports Editor-Michigan, Notre Dame, Penn
State, Michigan State, Indiana, Minnesota, TCU, Washington, Miami (Fla),
Texas A & M, Florida, Alabama, Syracuse, Brigram Young, Cincinnati, Georgia,
Temple, SMU, Texas, Bates.
BILL REED, Big Ten Commissioner-Michigan, Notre Dame, Navy, Michigan
State, Indiana, Minnesota, TCU-Iowa (TIE), Wisconsin, Miami (Fla), Purdue,
Illinois, Alabama, Baylor, Brigham Young, Dayton, Georgia, Temple, SMU,
Southern Cal, Bates.
A RTISTS 00!
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*sonforized & unbleached
100% cotton canvas
less than 3' o maximum shrinkage
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Intramural Score
The Bears 2, Hoover Movers 0
BIBLE PROPHESY VS. MIDDLE EAST 1967
Hear HAL LINDSAY
FRIDAY, SEPT. 22
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wear or leisure. Flexible and
lightweight as a shoe can be.
Genuine moccasin construc-
tion . . . incomparably com-
fortable.
For the 19th consecutive year, we've
replaced the bug.
With another bug.
To those of you who expected some-
thing fancier, sorry. (The '68 looks just
like the '67 crossed out above.)
To those of you who now own a VW,
congratulations. (Once again your model
has not gone out of style.)
To those of you who've been thinking
nkn.nt huvin nwnn icaehnkina.
(They have built-in headrests.)
The windshield wipers are much more
efficient. (They're larger.)
Even the shifting is easier. (We put a
decal on the window to show you how.)
All in all, we feel that the 36 nice little
changes on this year's Volkswagen make
it the best ever.
Of course, every year we build the
"perfect" Volkswagen.
And then we do a marsterful iob of
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