FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1967 THE MICHIGAN DAILY PAGE NIZ;E FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 1967 THE MICHIGAN DAILY PAGE NINE the kitchen cynic RICK STERN Questions and Answers Twins, Red Sox Remain Deadlocked IT e: 0 i Herbert John Denning died last night at the age of 73. That's more years than a dragon fly but less than a snapping turtle of t some repute. C r Question: Do snapping turtles eat dragon flies and what would f have been the outcome if the reverse were true? p Answer: Denning wouldn't have lived 5 ,seconds longer. s Sitting in the mug there was 14 cows, each uglier than the next. The liscentious student let his mind wander and all sorts of images came to his mind. He became erotically stimulated but, alas, by the i time he went to gratify his urge, the cows had vanished into thinner air then psychedelic helium. Question: Oh ... Mr. Johnny Rebeck, how could you be so mean? T a Answer: It's easy to construct Mephistophelian machines for slicing sacred cows. I wasn't being mean. I just can't stand a goddam prevert. i it Sitting on the deck of the Golden Gate Bridge were three hippies w -Stuyvesant, Propter Hoc, and Goldy Locks. As they sat, their minds d wandered, smoothly, in unison out over the bay to the green lands t beyond. Their deviant prayers echoed in cadence off the tail arching spans of the bridge. The amount of prayer was greater than that of d all the drivers in the cars that had gone over it in the years of its existence. h Question: How old is the Golden Gate Bridge? i Answer: None of them knew and thus failed to grasp the significance of the event. Goldy Locks had long blond hair and came from Yankton, South Dakota, to see the coast. Captain Sigsag sailed the seven seas for many years. But he never 1 grew rich, always poorer. One time hiring another crew, his 103rd, F the men revolted and threw him vengefully overboard. He swam 1 valiantly towards the rainbow of his image, cursing them and blaming Senior Lifesaving. Question: Was the man Dylan Thomas's cousin and if he wasn't rich, why didn't he sink? Answer: Zeta Beta Tau. * * * * The "Fortune Cookie" was a drab, execrable dungeon on the south side of Erie, Pennsylvania. Peter first went their when he was 14 and learned slowly, the secrets of the tropical fish and the Belgian Waffles that sold exclusively with the dank walls. Eventually he came to own and run the business. He became evil and happy. One morning the shop was gone. Peter cried for 31 days. Question: What is esoteric about this vignette? Answer: No dungeon is truly execrable. And we know only very little about Peter. They say he wasn't insured. Otherwise, everything. In the days when 'knighthood was in flower, people grew out of each other as fast as swords could be manufactured. Cruel wars raged. Various Johnnies had to fight. Obscure pedantic professors took notes furiously, waiting centuries to bore obscure pedantic stu- r ents. There was one Johnny who wouldn't fight. Question: Why not? There was a war raging. Answer: Lynda Bird said "don't." This was trite. Associations of blood however, caused him like all the others, to make an essentially miserable choice, on- ly the misery came on the other side of his romantic fence. In short he broke the sword to bloody peaces. Thoughts for the day: 1) Wis- dom is the accumulation of ob- scenity built upon the study of gross anatomy. 2) Where love is, there God is also . . . waiting for his turn. 3) No dungeon is truly execrable. Coming next: "The Origin of the Flower Children" or "Post Hoe ergo Propter Hoc." ii MINNEAPOLIS - ST. PAUL. - The Indians got back one run in Other GaInes [armon Killebrew and Tony Oli- the sixth, when Rich Scheinblum a slammed successive home runs walked, Chuck Hinton singled with In other action, Tim Cullen's in the sixth inning yesterday, pow- two out-the second hit off Boston two-out single in the 11th inning Bring Minnesota to a 4-0 victory starter Gary Bell-and Tony Hor- drove in Ken McMullen with the over Kansas City behind Jim Mer- ton followed with a single to right winning run, giving Washington a itt's two.hit pitching. center. 4-3 victory over Baltimore last It was the Twins' fourth straight The Red Sox boosted their mar- night. riumph, achieved at the expense gin with two more runs in the iMcNullen doubled with two-out t f the Athletics' ninth loss in a seventh, when Bell aided his own inframe,and after Casanova. e- uw. It kept them tied with Boston cause with a double. encame to with the winning Tor the American League lead. Jose Tartabull tripled, scoring single. ace Detroit, both idle yesterday, Bell, and a single by Andrews--his The Orioles tied the game in the lipped one game and one and a third hit - brought Tartabull eighth on Frank Robinson's triple half games back, respectively, racing home. off the top of the rail in right Chuck Dobson checked the Twins on four singles through five nnings, until Killebrew and Oliva r ID SELECTIONS unloaded in the sixth. Cesar Tovar launched the Twins' three-run rally by drawing Apparently somebody knows something. leadoff walk on a 3-2 pitch. Big Ten Commissioner Bill Reed, this weeks' guest selector for Killebrew followed with his 40th The Daily Grid Picks contest, has betrayed the Western Conference home run of the season, a tower- by actually picking TCU to tie Iowa and Miami (Fla) to out and ng blast 430 feet into the pavilion n left-center field. out defeat Northwestern. Does Reed have some inside information? Then Oliva stepped up and Is all for naught? whacked an opposite field line Think twice about your selections. Maybe three times. But don't drive, which carried 370 feet into wait past midnight tonight or you can't win two Cottage Inn pizzas the pavilion in left. It was Oliva's and two tickets to the Michigan Theatre. (Next week we're giving 17th homer and second is an many away SGC.) days. ----. I and Brooks Robinson's sacrifice fly. * * At St. Louis. Tito Francona's run-scoring single in the ninth in- ning broke a tie and Atlanta went on to a 4-2 victory over the Cards. Felix Millan led off the inning with a bunt single and moved to second on Woody Woodward's sa- crifice. Joel Hoerner replaced Ron Willis on the mound for the Cards and gave up Francona's hit. After a walk to Gary Geiger, Hank Aaron's sacrifice fly drove in another run. AMERICAN LEAGUE W L Pet. GB Minnesota 88 66 .571 - Boston 88 66 .571 - Chicago 87 67 .565 1 Detroit 86 67 .562 1 z California 78 73 .517 8 2 Cleveland 72 83 .465 16'. Baltimore 71 82 .464 26?,, Washington 71 82 A464 16! New York 66 87 .431 21 Kansas City 59 93 .388 28 YESTERDAY'S RESULTS Minnesota 4, Kansas City 8 Boston 6, Cleveland 5 6Washington 4, Baltimore 3 (11 inn) Only games scheduled NATIONAL LEAGUE x-st. Louis San Francisco Cincinnati Chicago Philadelphia Pittsburgh Atlanta Los Angeles Houston New York 96 83 83 52 78 76 75 69 63 57 L 58 68 70 72 73 77 78 83 89 94 Pct. GB .622 - .550 11!i .542 12 .532 14 .517 16'A .497 1912 .490 20 j .454 26 .414 32 .377 3712 Major League Standings x-Clinched pennant. YESTERDAY'S RESULTS Atlanta 4, St. Louis 2 Only game scheduled FennepLY ALWAYS FIRST QUALITY Bob Allison ducked out of the way of a high inside pitch, then aced a double -to left-center fin- shing Dobson. Bosox by Onea CLEVELAND - Dalton Jones. lined a two-run single in Boston's three-run sixth inning and the Red Sox went on to defeat Cleve- land 6-5 last night to hang onto a share of the lead. The Red Sox nursed a 1-0 lead into the sixth off Cleveland starter Steve Hargan. Walks to Mike An- drews and Carl Yastrzemski, George Scott's sacrifice, and an intentional pass to Reggie Smith filled the bases. Then stay tuned for the next version of "The Wind Amongst the Reed." THIS WEEK'S GAMES 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Duke at MICHIGAN (Score) Notre Dame at California Penn State at Navy Houston at Michigan State Kentucky at Indiana Utah at Minnesota TCU at Iowa Wisconsin at Washington Northwestern at Miami (Fla) Purdue at Texas A & M 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. Illinois at Florida Florida State at Alabama Syracuse at Baylor N. Mexico at Brigham Young Dayton at Cincinnati Mississippi St. at Georgia Temple at Kings Point SMU at Missouri Texas at Southern California St. Lawrence at Bates r ~ r 4 1 1 t t r:.y. t : r' 7 ' ., } .r Ij" , f I'" Ufa c' fry f, r . f ^~ ' j , r I f} . i114 r l I Jones' single and Yastrzemski, it home for the wild pitch. scored Andrews and Smith made third run on a CLARK NORTON, Sports Editor-Michigan, Notre Dame, Penn State, Mich- igan State, Indiana, Minnesota, TCU, Washington, iMami (Fla), Purdue, Illinois, Alabama, Syracuse, New Mexico, Dayton, Georgia, Temple, SMU, Southern Cal. Bates. BOB McFARLAND, Executive Sports Editor-Michigan, Notre Dame, Penn State, Michigan State, Kentucky, Minnesota, TCU, Washington, Miami (Fla), Purdue, Illinois, Alabama, Syracuse, Brigham Young, Dayton, Georgia, Temple, SMU, Southern Cal, Bates. RICK STERN, Associate Sports Editor-Michigan, Notre Dame, Navy, Mich- igan State, Indiana, Minnesota, TCU, Washington, Northwestern, Purdue, Illi- nois, Alabama, Syracuse, New Mexico, Cincinnati, Georgia, Temple, Missouri, Southern Cal, St. Lawrence. GRAYLE HOWLETT, Associate Sports Editor-Michigan, Notre Dame, Penn State, Michigan State, Indiana, Minnesota, TCU, Washington, Miami (Fla), Texas A & M, Florida, Alabama, Syracuse, Brigram Young, Cincinnati, Georgia, Temple, SMU, Texas, Bates. BILL REED, Big Ten Commissioner-Michigan, Notre Dame, Navy, Michigan State, Indiana, Minnesota, TCU-Iowa (TIE), Wisconsin, Miami (Fla), Purdue, Illinois, Alabama, Baylor, Brigham Young, Dayton, Georgia, Temple, SMU, Southern Cal, Bates. A RTISTS 00! 72 " wide CANVAS *sonforized & unbleached 100% cotton canvas less than 3' o maximum shrinkage Penneys own quality canvas Intramural Score The Bears 2, Hoover Movers 0 BIBLE PROPHESY VS. 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