54 | JULY 21 • 2022
agement. “We immediately
notice physiological changes,
like quivering in our chest
or voice, a rapid heartbeat or
sweaty palms,” Karp says of
the body’s response to conflict.
“When you’re not in a physi-
cal confrontation, that’s really
bad.”
So how can people diffuse
the constraints of nature and
nurture and deal with conflict
in healthy ways? Being aware
of and understanding the tox-
ins of conflict is a great start,
Karp says.
These are four common
traps that Karp says people
can easily fall into:
FEAR
“When it’s two-o’-clock in the
morning and I’m trying to
take a shortcut through a city
and I see a really dark alley or
a dangerous neighborhood,
and I look down and feel fear,
that’s a good thing,” Karp
explains. “That’s going to keep
me out of trouble.”
In conflict, however, fear
can lead to avoidance. “If I
have too much fear,” he con-
tinues, “I’m going to shy away
from conflict that otherwise
might be healthy.”
ANGER
“When I get angry, my anger
motivates me to fix things
that are broken,” Karp says.
“If something’s not working,
if it’s a process at work, if it’s
a personal relationship, and
it’s causing me frustration and
anger, I’m going to go fix it.”
Once anger has served its
purpose, Karp says to let it
go. “If you hang onto it, your
anger elevates beyond the
optimal level. That’s going
to impact your behavior and
cause you to interact with
people in a way that’s not pro-
ductive or even destructive.”
EGO
Ego can play a major role
in the trajectory of conflict.
“Is my ego driving this
conflict, or is the other
person’s ego driving this con-
flict?” Karp says to consider.
Once you can pinpoint ego as
the driving force of unhealthy
conflict, it becomes easier to
manage.
“Labeling these things as
toxins increases our level of
awareness,” he continues, “and
understanding how various
patterns work.”
JUDGMENT
Similar to anger and ego, too
much
judgment can
lead to unhealthy or unpro-
ductive conflict. Preconceived
notions about people can
interfere with our ability to
communicate effectively,
Karp explains. “
Ask yourself,
‘
Am I falling into one of these
traps?’”
Doing so, Karp says, can
help you “see the trap way off
on the horizon and avoid it
altogether.”
BUSINESS
continued from page 53
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