metro
Divorce Support Group
Breaking News!
1 .1
Mitzvah project by seventh-grader
aims to give kids of divorce a way
to express feelings.
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Stacy Gittleman
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or many children in the midst
of a parental breakup, divorce
can feel like an inner silent
scream — a situation that can isolate
the child because they are unsure of
whom or where they can go to express
their true concerns or feelings.
In a unique twist on a mitzvah proj-
ect, Asher Schreiber, a seventh-grader
at Norup International School in Oak
Park, launched a support group for his
schoolmates coping with the divorce of
their parents.
Divorce and family law attorney
Alisa Peskin-Shepherd and psycholo-
gist Henry Traurig will mediate the
first session March 11 at the school.
Sessions, which are free and open
to Norup students in grades 5-8, are
planned for the remainder of the school
year.
At first, Schreiber met some resis-
tance and hesitation from parents going
through divorce because of the sensitive
nature of the group's focus. However,
school officials as well as the group's
facilitators assured families that names
of the group participants and specific
conversations would be kept strictly
confidential.
Speaking from his own experience,
Schreiber said, "Divorce is not some-
thing you get oven"
His parents divorced about seven
years ago when he was in kindergarten.
Though he said he did attend some
family therapy sessions, Schreiber felt
at that age "he had to learn the ropes of
divorce" on his own. He felt confused
and started "acting up" in class.
As he got older and his friendships
developed, he realized he had friends
who could also relate to what it feels
like when parents split.
"I can't help kids get over the fact that
their parents are no longer together"
Schreiber said. "But maybe through
this group, which will allow them to
explore their feelings and know they are
not alone, I can help them accept their
parents' divorce. I always wished I had
outside people to talk to when I was
going through it"
Ongoing Project
Schreiber said he was looking to create
a mitzvah project for his bar mitzvah
n Periodic Table of the Elements
4
•■
_ AMEN.
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4
60
Attorney Alisa Peskin-Shepherd and
psychologist Henry Traurig flank
Asher Schreiber, who is starting ses-
sions at his school for children of
divorce.
that could have the potential to con-
tinue after his celebrations are over. (He
will have two ceremonies; one March
28 at Young Israel of Oak Park with
his father, Avy Schreiber of Oak Park,
and another May 16 with his mother,
Lynne Golodner of Huntington Woods,
in Novi with Rabbi Evon Yakar of
Adventure Rabbi.)
"At first I thought of putting together
care packages for kids who are going
through divorce, or maybe putting
together a sports event at the JCC for
kids affected by divorce," Schreiber said.
"But I soon realized that the best thing
I can do for kids of divorce would be
to create a space where they could just
open up and talk"
With the help of his mother
and Norup School Principal Paul
Yowchuang, Schreiber recruited Peskin-
Shepherd and Traurig to his project.
He made posters in school and sent a
notice in the school's emails to parents
about the group. The principal also
reached out to families of children
he thought could benefit from such a
group.
Peskin-Shepherd said divorce affects
children of all ages, from preschoolers
right through young adults.
Free support resources exist for
adults going through divorce. For
example, Peskin-Shepherd referred
to Oakland County's "Start Making It
Livable for Everyone" (SMILE) initia-
tive. SMILE is a one-hour educational
program for parents who have a pend-
ing divorce. It is designed to help them