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{SINGLES SCENE
M
made sense to me...) The answer is no. Stand
with caution to these relationships. Guys and
girls can never have a platonic relationship —
one will always desire the other in some way.
Now I'm not saying that every guy and every
girl are meant to be in a relationship (emo-
tional, physical or otherwise), but the instinct
to test the waters are there. Don't go off
running and be fearful that your beau is
a cheater, just be aware. It can be a tricky
situation because you want to establish trust
between your significant other and their group
of friends, but sometimes that childhood best
friend can get a little too close for comfort!
ASK YENTA
Need some
advice? Are
you looking
for solutions
for troubling
run-ins and
problems
dealing with
relationships,
family and
friends?
Yenta's here with her
youthful perspective.
riNP•II
off — she might surprise you.
Q: I recently found out that my boy-
friend of three years had a slew of
cheating incidents in his college dating
years. I have always firmly believed,
"once a cheater, always a cheater," but
I am fairly certain he has never cheated
on me. We are talking about getting
engaged soon and now I worry that
he'll eventually fall into old patterns.
Should I listen to the age-old phrase or
see if I can change him?
A:
Q: My parents really dislike the new
girl that I am dating because they do
not think she is ambitious. Is my
parents' opinion something important to
consider?
To ask Yenta your
question, e-mail yenta@
thejewishnews.com and
look for your question
here in this column!
A:
Dear Mr. Family Values. Your parent's
opinion is important for better or worse, from
cradle to college dorm room, they probably
know you and your values best. Are you a
corporate ladder-climber, and your girlfriend
is content with part-time babysitting? It is
more important to think about why they are
concerned, rather than the objection itself
I'm going to take a leap and consider that
your parents are not snobbish, but rather
concerned about your incompatibility. That
being said, women sometimes downplay some
of their attributes, including ambition, so as
not to come off as too controlling. If she is
kind and considerate, and she genuinely cares
about you, I would hold up before breaking it
Q: My boyfriend has a lot friends that
are girls. Should I be OK with him
having friends of the opposite sex?
A;
Dear Paranoid Patty. It's the infamous
question: Can a guy ever truly just be friends
with a girl? I'm finally going to let the cat
out of the bag (that metaphor has never even
Dear Deceived Debbie. It's dangerous to
enter long-term planning when you are already
talking about changing a person. Remember
this, you can always change a situation but you
can so rarely change a person. You know your
soon-to-be fiance best. Everyone has a past,
some lucky enough to have a 4.0 GPA, some
tracked by the cops and then those who are
the center of seven degrees of separation. You
have to decide if your beau's past is important
enough to his present to incriminate him in
your current relationship. Ask yourself some of
these questions: Do you see signs of his past
habits? Does he lack communication? Does he
show genuine interest in getting married? If
this information is new to you, sit down and
have an honest conversation with him (I know,
not the most comfortable) and talk about your
concerns. If this is going to be the make it or
break it point for your relationship moving
forward — which it should be — you should
address his behavior now rather than find out
he might cheat on your later.
20% of Relationships Start Online
And the other 80% of the population looks like this
According to a recent Match.com commer-
cial (that aired during a Say Yes to the Dress
marathon I watched while eating pizza alone
on a Friday night), one in five
relationships now start online. And in an
age where people are connected 24 hours a
day and share everything via the Internet
("I'm home alone on a Friday watching Say
Yes To The Dress.") it makes sense. Internet
dating opens you up to a pool of people you
wouldn't have met otherwise, allows you
to screen the freaks before you even talk to
them, and you can do it in your underwear
without even brushing your teeth.
It's perfect.
On paper, at least.
While we all know people who have found
love online, Internet dating is far from
perfect. I've been a member of JDate for the
past five years and have yet to be the one in
five that Match.com speaks of. Could it be
something I'm doing? Maybe. But it's not
easy to find love when one in five of your
options look like this:
1. The Creepy Guys: Including (but not
limited to): 55-year-old men who hit on
21-year-old girls; anyone who refers to me
as "baby," "sexy," or "hottie" in an email; guys
who send nude photos; and guys who email
asking for my nude photos.
2. Only One Pic Guy: There are two
types of guys I'll never trust: those without
Facebook profiles and those with only one
picture posted to their online dating profiles.
Whatcha hiding, man?
3. "Sexy" Shirtless Guy: If there's one thing
worse than a guy with no pics, it's the guy
who whips out his iPhone in the bathroom
and does "sexy" shirtless poses in front of the
mirror. I'm looking for love here, dude, not a
-
-
guy who loves his (hairy) self
4. Foreigners: I've got nothing against
foreign men — how can you not love a sexy
accent — but I just do not understand the
weirdo guys from Russia, Japan and other
non-English speaking countries who e-mail
me in their native tongue. How did you find
me? Why are you flirting with a girl on the
other side of the world who has no idea what
you're saying? Is it considered sexy in your
country for men to wear really tight pants,
unbutton the top five buttons on their shirt
and show off gaudy gold chains?
5. The Guy From Your Past: Wait, is that
Uh, yes. Yes, that is that kid you went to
camp with in 4th grade/had high school
English with/is BFF with your older broth
ers. Avoid, avoid, avoid. And when you see
him in person, avoid some more.
- D-Town Dater
CO MMUNITY
NE>XT
sponsored
section
Pitch For
Israel Detroit
Reconnecting Young Jewish
Detroiters!
Pitch for Israel Detroit (PA) is an all day char-
ity softball tournament and end of summer
reunion for young adults to reconnect with
the Jewish and larger Detroit communities.
Donate now! Help our young adults rebuild
the community!
Each player participating is
asked to raise a minimum
of $180 to play. For players
who raise more than $180 top
prizes include:
• Four Enimem/Jay-Z concert tickets,
September 2
• Two Passes and plane tickets to a movie
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• Executive memberships to the JCC
Help the players of PFI and DONATE NOW at
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EVENT DETAILS
Date: Sunday, August 29th
Location: Drake Sports Park, West
Bloomfield, MI
www.pitchforisraeldetroitcom
CommunityNEXT is a program powered
by the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan
Detroit focused on attracting and retaining
young talent in Michigan.
events
hot spots
SUMMERTIME
ZOOMANCE
Thursday, Aug. 26, 6-9 p.m.
Detroit Zoo, Royal Oak
Adults 21+ are invited to rekindle their
childhood love for the Detroit Zoo at an
after-hours adults-only event, rain or
shine. Cocktails and favorite nostalgic
foods will be available for purchase.
Tickets can be purchased in advance
online or at the admission gates up to
the night of the event. Cost: $8, parking
$5 (free for Zoo members). For more
information, contact Patricia Janeway,
(248) 541-5717, pr1 @dzs.or or
www.detroitzoo.org .
— Great Date Idea
In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region. If you
would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or
rlachover@thejewishnews.com . JOIN US ON FACEBOOK; search our group name and fan page "SE MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE"
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August 19 2010