SOUTHEASTERN MICHIGAN SWISH FOR THE MUST-KNOW INS AND OUTS OF THE YOUNG ADULT JEWISH COMMUNITY! ALLIANCE- • Don't miss the dating advice on the SINGLES SCENE. • Find all your family needs on the FAMILY SCOOP. • Stay in touch with networking trends by reading MICHIGAN BUSINESS. • Land a job on the JOB HUNT page. THERE'S A PAGE THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU! A Great Place To Live. A Great Place To Be Jewish. {SINGLES SCENE M made sense to me...) The answer is no. Stand with caution to these relationships. Guys and girls can never have a platonic relationship — one will always desire the other in some way. Now I'm not saying that every guy and every girl are meant to be in a relationship (emo- tional, physical or otherwise), but the instinct to test the waters are there. Don't go off running and be fearful that your beau is a cheater, just be aware. It can be a tricky situation because you want to establish trust between your significant other and their group of friends, but sometimes that childhood best friend can get a little too close for comfort! ASK YENTA Need some advice? Are you looking for solutions for troubling run-ins and problems dealing with relationships, family and friends? Yenta's here with her youthful perspective. riNP•II off — she might surprise you. Q: I recently found out that my boy- friend of three years had a slew of cheating incidents in his college dating years. I have always firmly believed, "once a cheater, always a cheater," but I am fairly certain he has never cheated on me. We are talking about getting engaged soon and now I worry that he'll eventually fall into old patterns. Should I listen to the age-old phrase or see if I can change him? A: Q: My parents really dislike the new girl that I am dating because they do not think she is ambitious. Is my parents' opinion something important to consider? To ask Yenta your question, e-mail yenta@ thejewishnews.com and look for your question here in this column! A: Dear Mr. Family Values. Your parent's opinion is important for better or worse, from cradle to college dorm room, they probably know you and your values best. Are you a corporate ladder-climber, and your girlfriend is content with part-time babysitting? It is more important to think about why they are concerned, rather than the objection itself I'm going to take a leap and consider that your parents are not snobbish, but rather concerned about your incompatibility. That being said, women sometimes downplay some of their attributes, including ambition, so as not to come off as too controlling. If she is kind and considerate, and she genuinely cares about you, I would hold up before breaking it Q: My boyfriend has a lot friends that are girls. Should I be OK with him having friends of the opposite sex? A; Dear Paranoid Patty. It's the infamous question: Can a guy ever truly just be friends with a girl? I'm finally going to let the cat out of the bag (that metaphor has never even Dear Deceived Debbie. It's dangerous to enter long-term planning when you are already talking about changing a person. Remember this, you can always change a situation but you can so rarely change a person. You know your soon-to-be fiance best. Everyone has a past, some lucky enough to have a 4.0 GPA, some tracked by the cops and then those who are the center of seven degrees of separation. You have to decide if your beau's past is important enough to his present to incriminate him in your current relationship. Ask yourself some of these questions: Do you see signs of his past habits? Does he lack communication? Does he show genuine interest in getting married? If this information is new to you, sit down and have an honest conversation with him (I know, not the most comfortable) and talk about your concerns. If this is going to be the make it or break it point for your relationship moving forward — which it should be — you should address his behavior now rather than find out he might cheat on your later. 20% of Relationships Start Online And the other 80% of the population looks like this According to a recent Match.com commer- cial (that aired during a Say Yes to the Dress marathon I watched while eating pizza alone on a Friday night), one in five relationships now start online. And in an age where people are connected 24 hours a day and share everything via the Internet ("I'm home alone on a Friday watching Say Yes To The Dress.") it makes sense. Internet dating opens you up to a pool of people you wouldn't have met otherwise, allows you to screen the freaks before you even talk to them, and you can do it in your underwear without even brushing your teeth. It's perfect. On paper, at least. While we all know people who have found love online, Internet dating is far from perfect. I've been a member of JDate for the past five years and have yet to be the one in five that Match.com speaks of. Could it be something I'm doing? Maybe. But it's not easy to find love when one in five of your options look like this: 1. The Creepy Guys: Including (but not limited to): 55-year-old men who hit on 21-year-old girls; anyone who refers to me as "baby," "sexy," or "hottie" in an email; guys who send nude photos; and guys who email asking for my nude photos. 2. Only One Pic Guy: There are two types of guys I'll never trust: those without Facebook profiles and those with only one picture posted to their online dating profiles. Whatcha hiding, man? 3. "Sexy" Shirtless Guy: If there's one thing worse than a guy with no pics, it's the guy who whips out his iPhone in the bathroom and does "sexy" shirtless poses in front of the mirror. I'm looking for love here, dude, not a - - guy who loves his (hairy) self 4. Foreigners: I've got nothing against foreign men — how can you not love a sexy accent — but I just do not understand the weirdo guys from Russia, Japan and other non-English speaking countries who e-mail me in their native tongue. How did you find me? Why are you flirting with a girl on the other side of the world who has no idea what you're saying? Is it considered sexy in your country for men to wear really tight pants, unbutton the top five buttons on their shirt and show off gaudy gold chains? 5. The Guy From Your Past: Wait, is that Uh, yes. Yes, that is that kid you went to camp with in 4th grade/had high school English with/is BFF with your older broth ers. Avoid, avoid, avoid. And when you see him in person, avoid some more. - D-Town Dater CO MMUNITY NE>XT sponsored section Pitch For Israel Detroit Reconnecting Young Jewish Detroiters! Pitch for Israel Detroit (PA) is an all day char- ity softball tournament and end of summer reunion for young adults to reconnect with the Jewish and larger Detroit communities. Donate now! Help our young adults rebuild the community! Each player participating is asked to raise a minimum of $180 to play. For players who raise more than $180 top prizes include: • Four Enimem/Jay-Z concert tickets, September 2 • Two Passes and plane tickets to a movie premiere in Los Angeles • Executive memberships to the JCC Help the players of PFI and DONATE NOW at www.pitchforisraeldetroit.com EVENT DETAILS Date: Sunday, August 29th Location: Drake Sports Park, West Bloomfield, MI www.pitchforisraeldetroitcom CommunityNEXT is a program powered by the Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Detroit focused on attracting and retaining young talent in Michigan. events hot spots SUMMERTIME ZOOMANCE Thursday, Aug. 26, 6-9 p.m. Detroit Zoo, Royal Oak Adults 21+ are invited to rekindle their childhood love for the Detroit Zoo at an after-hours adults-only event, rain or shine. Cocktails and favorite nostalgic foods will be available for purchase. Tickets can be purchased in advance online or at the admission gates up to the night of the event. Cost: $8, parking $5 (free for Zoo members). For more information, contact Patricia Janeway, (248) 541-5717, pr1 @dzs.or or www.detroitzoo.org . — Great Date Idea In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region. If you would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or rlachover@thejewishnews.com . JOIN US ON FACEBOOK; search our group name and fan page "SE MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE" 20 August 19 2010