SOUTHEASTERN
J
EWISH
FOR THE MUST-KNOW INS AND OUTS OF THE YOUNG ADULT JEWISH COMMUNITY!
ALLIANCE
• Don't miss the dating advice on the SINGLES SCENE. • Find all your family needs on the FAMILY SCOOP.
• Stay in touch with networking trends by reading MICHIGAN BUSINESS. • Land a job on the JOB HUNT page.
THERE'S A PAGE THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU!
A Great Place To Live. A Great Place To Be Jewish.
events
& hot spots
Oa OA fn.,
You Should Never Have To Settle For Love
DETROIT MOVEMENT
FESTIVAL
(Unless you are in your mid-20s and all the good ones are taken.)
bagel chips into my little bowl
of heaven. I didn't know it then,
but apparently chowing down on
bagel chips is the international
sign for "tell me what I'm doing
wrong with boys" because before
I knew it, I was 20 minutes into
a dating lecture. Honestly, I'm
surprised there wasn't a syllabus
and a final exam.
"Maybe you should
consider dating someone a little older/
younger/shorter. There's nothing wrong if
he's divorced with two kids ... who are the
same age as you. And someone with three
eyes and a unibrow that connects to his
hairline isn't worth your time?"
I didn't know what to say so I nodded
and smiled, hoping that maybe she'd stop
talking and let me return to my now-frozen
soup. I know she was only trying to help,
but I found the whole thing offensive.
Did she think I was desperate?
That I needed a man to be happy?
That I didn't want hot soup on this cold,
rainy day, but actually preferred mushroom
gazpacho?
That the only man who could ever love
me was someone with a genetic defect?
It's true that I have high standards, but
I've always been told never to settle when
it comes to love. Romantic comedies,
Disney movies and my loving Jewish
mother always reminded me that my
perfect mate was out there, that I deserve
the best and that I should settle for noth-
ing less.
"You've got a lot to offer," my mother
would tell me during a commercial break as
we lay in her bed watching Oprah (our
favorite pastime). "You need to be with
someone rho appreciates your obscene
amount of self-confidence, your oftentimes
offensive sense of humor and the fact that
you try really hard to cook ... even if it's
never successful. And he needs to bring as
much to you."
That is, until I hit my mid-20s and the
wedding invitations started pouring in, and
I was quickly becoming the sole single girl
in a sea of happy couples. Suddenly, my
standards were too high, I was far too picky
and, my personal favorite, "I wasn't trying
hard enough."
And that's not even coming from my
mother.
Just last week, while grabbing a little
mushroom barley at Steve's, I ran into a
family friend. I did the obligatory hello
then returned to dipping those delicious
Saturday, May 29-Monday, May 31
Hart Plan, Detro:';'
Come out for the 11th year of the
Detroit Electronic Music Festival featuring
performances by musicians and DJs
emphasizing the progressive qualities of
the culture surrounding electronic music
for three days and three nights straight.
36 hours of music; four stages and more
than 70 electronic music artists and
DJs. For more information, call
(313) 877-8077 or visit,
www.movement.us and www.myspace.
com/detroitmusicfest.
shouldn't everyone? It's not like
I'm looking for a Bradley Cooper
look-alike with whom I can have
a perfect marriage devoid of
fights and flatulence. I'm realistic,
not totally delusional. I know that
the gas (and subsequent fights
about the gas) is coming sooner
rather than later. I'm not expect-
ing my Jewish knight in shining
armor to ride up to my apartment
on a horse and whisk me away (I mean,
how many Jewish guys do you know who
own horses around here?). I just want what
my parents have had for their 30+ years
and I shouldn't have to settle on that just
because I'm getting a little closer to 30 and
everyone, even the weird kids from camp,
are pairing off.
Yes, many people are married by the
time they hit my age, but I'm not. And
that's OK. I'm not going to settle for some
guy with an awful laugh, a collection of
toenail clippings or his own room in his
parents' basement just because of that.
I may not have found the love of my life
just yet, but I'm not going to give up now.
Hell, if Amy Winehouse can have her per-
fect man, why can't I?
D Town Dater
—
YAD 72nd ANNUAL
MEETING
Wednesday, June 9, 7:30 p.m,
Home of Rob and Marcie Orley
Join the Federation of Metropolitan
Detroit's Young Adult Division (YAD) as
they install the 2010-2011 board of
directors. liana Liss, president; Joshua
Levine, president elect. The Mark Family
Young Leadership Award will be present-
ed to Joshua Levine. Dessert following
the meeting. RSVP required to Jennifer
Levine at jlevine@jfmd.org .
-
-V— Great Date Idea
Q: A woman I work with, who I've
always been attracted to, recently
broke up from a long-term relation-
ship. How long is an appropriate
time to wait before asking her out?
ASK YENTA
Need some
advice? Are 01011
you looking for
solutions for
troubling
run-ins and
problems
dealing with
relationships,
family and friends?
Yenta's here with her
youthful perspective.
A:
To ask Yenta your
question, e-mail
yenta©thejewishnews.com
and look for your question
here in this column!
Dear Office Romancer, this is a
tricky situation. The last person you
want to become is the infamous rebound
guy who gets used for a four-star meal,
therapeutic conversation and social
companionship. Give this woman some
grieving time. She most likely is not
ready to date or jump right back into
a serious relationship. Your first steps
to becoming her new No. 1 need to
include several subtle but noticeable
gestures. Familiarize yourself with her
morning coffee drink and start bring-
ing one in to work for her. Walk by her
office saying you are heading out to her
favorite lunch spot and ask if she wants
to join. Ask her opinion as often as
possible on projects that you are work-
ing on; even if you don't need them
— striking up a conversation is the ulti-
mate goal. There are no "official rules"
when it comes to dating, especially for
asking someone out, but as your conver-
sation and friendship grows you should
naturally feel a bond form. Whether it
is six weeks or six months down the line
before your first date, make sure she is
at an emotionally comfortable stage so
you can create a healthy relationship
and move it to the next level.
Q: I recently went out on a first
date, and the guy showed up wear-
ing sweatpants and a sweaty jer-
sey. He claimed he just came from
basketball practice and didn't have
time to shower and change. We had
a coffee and ended up talking for
a couple of hours. Aside from the
clothing (and the smell), the night
turned out OK. Should I be offend-
ed by his lack of preparation and
appearance? Or should I give him
a second chance because we got
along decently?
A:
Dear Dowdy Dater, I believe it's
safe to say that your date's first impres-
sion has gone whirling down the drain.
Unfortunately, some guys are missing
that key genetic link that infuses them
with the importance of first impressions
and class. I'm not sure of the conversa-
tion the two of you had, but he must
have been a real gem to redeem himself
for the possibility of a second date with
you. Now, if on the second date he
shows up smelly and dirty again, this
might be your sign that he's just not
that into you — or his personal hygiene.
But for a moment, let's boost you up
onto that "princess pedestal" that all
us girls have in our bedrooms. All men
should treat you the very best, with the
utmost respect, and make you feel like
the most important woman in the room.
If your new beau shows in stale shorts,
I'm not sure he's the one who is going
to be bringing you fresh roses the rest of
your life.
In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region. If you
would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or
rlachover@thejewishnews.com . JOIN US ON FACEBOOK; search our group name and fan page "SE MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE"