SOUTHEASTERN J EWISH FOR THE MUST-KNOW INS AND OUTS OF THE YOUNG ADULT JEWISH COMMUNITY! ALLIANCE • Don't miss the dating advice on the SINGLES SCENE. • Find all your family needs on the FAMILY SCOOP. • Stay in touch with networking trends by reading MICHIGAN BUSINESS. • Land a job on the JOB HUNT page. THERE'S A PAGE THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU! A Great Place To Live. A Great Place To Be Jewish. events & hot spots Oa OA fn., You Should Never Have To Settle For Love DETROIT MOVEMENT FESTIVAL (Unless you are in your mid-20s and all the good ones are taken.) bagel chips into my little bowl of heaven. I didn't know it then, but apparently chowing down on bagel chips is the international sign for "tell me what I'm doing wrong with boys" because before I knew it, I was 20 minutes into a dating lecture. Honestly, I'm surprised there wasn't a syllabus and a final exam. "Maybe you should consider dating someone a little older/ younger/shorter. There's nothing wrong if he's divorced with two kids ... who are the same age as you. And someone with three eyes and a unibrow that connects to his hairline isn't worth your time?" I didn't know what to say so I nodded and smiled, hoping that maybe she'd stop talking and let me return to my now-frozen soup. I know she was only trying to help, but I found the whole thing offensive. Did she think I was desperate? That I needed a man to be happy? That I didn't want hot soup on this cold, rainy day, but actually preferred mushroom gazpacho? That the only man who could ever love me was someone with a genetic defect? It's true that I have high standards, but I've always been told never to settle when it comes to love. Romantic comedies, Disney movies and my loving Jewish mother always reminded me that my perfect mate was out there, that I deserve the best and that I should settle for noth- ing less. "You've got a lot to offer," my mother would tell me during a commercial break as we lay in her bed watching Oprah (our favorite pastime). "You need to be with someone rho appreciates your obscene amount of self-confidence, your oftentimes offensive sense of humor and the fact that you try really hard to cook ... even if it's never successful. And he needs to bring as much to you." That is, until I hit my mid-20s and the wedding invitations started pouring in, and I was quickly becoming the sole single girl in a sea of happy couples. Suddenly, my standards were too high, I was far too picky and, my personal favorite, "I wasn't trying hard enough." And that's not even coming from my mother. Just last week, while grabbing a little mushroom barley at Steve's, I ran into a family friend. I did the obligatory hello then returned to dipping those delicious Saturday, May 29-Monday, May 31 Hart Plan, Detro:';' Come out for the 11th year of the Detroit Electronic Music Festival featuring performances by musicians and DJs emphasizing the progressive qualities of the culture surrounding electronic music for three days and three nights straight. 36 hours of music; four stages and more than 70 electronic music artists and DJs. For more information, call (313) 877-8077 or visit, www.movement.us and www.myspace. com/detroitmusicfest. shouldn't everyone? It's not like I'm looking for a Bradley Cooper look-alike with whom I can have a perfect marriage devoid of fights and flatulence. I'm realistic, not totally delusional. I know that the gas (and subsequent fights about the gas) is coming sooner rather than later. I'm not expect- ing my Jewish knight in shining armor to ride up to my apartment on a horse and whisk me away (I mean, how many Jewish guys do you know who own horses around here?). I just want what my parents have had for their 30+ years and I shouldn't have to settle on that just because I'm getting a little closer to 30 and everyone, even the weird kids from camp, are pairing off. Yes, many people are married by the time they hit my age, but I'm not. And that's OK. I'm not going to settle for some guy with an awful laugh, a collection of toenail clippings or his own room in his parents' basement just because of that. I may not have found the love of my life just yet, but I'm not going to give up now. Hell, if Amy Winehouse can have her per- fect man, why can't I? D Town Dater — YAD 72nd ANNUAL MEETING Wednesday, June 9, 7:30 p.m, Home of Rob and Marcie Orley Join the Federation of Metropolitan Detroit's Young Adult Division (YAD) as they install the 2010-2011 board of directors. liana Liss, president; Joshua Levine, president elect. The Mark Family Young Leadership Award will be present- ed to Joshua Levine. Dessert following the meeting. RSVP required to Jennifer Levine at jlevine@jfmd.org . - -V— Great Date Idea Q: A woman I work with, who I've always been attracted to, recently broke up from a long-term relation- ship. How long is an appropriate time to wait before asking her out? ASK YENTA Need some advice? Are 01011 you looking for solutions for troubling run-ins and problems dealing with relationships, family and friends? Yenta's here with her youthful perspective. A: To ask Yenta your question, e-mail yenta©thejewishnews.com and look for your question here in this column! Dear Office Romancer, this is a tricky situation. The last person you want to become is the infamous rebound guy who gets used for a four-star meal, therapeutic conversation and social companionship. Give this woman some grieving time. She most likely is not ready to date or jump right back into a serious relationship. Your first steps to becoming her new No. 1 need to include several subtle but noticeable gestures. Familiarize yourself with her morning coffee drink and start bring- ing one in to work for her. Walk by her office saying you are heading out to her favorite lunch spot and ask if she wants to join. Ask her opinion as often as possible on projects that you are work- ing on; even if you don't need them — striking up a conversation is the ulti- mate goal. There are no "official rules" when it comes to dating, especially for asking someone out, but as your conver- sation and friendship grows you should naturally feel a bond form. Whether it is six weeks or six months down the line before your first date, make sure she is at an emotionally comfortable stage so you can create a healthy relationship and move it to the next level. Q: I recently went out on a first date, and the guy showed up wear- ing sweatpants and a sweaty jer- sey. He claimed he just came from basketball practice and didn't have time to shower and change. We had a coffee and ended up talking for a couple of hours. Aside from the clothing (and the smell), the night turned out OK. Should I be offend- ed by his lack of preparation and appearance? Or should I give him a second chance because we got along decently? A: Dear Dowdy Dater, I believe it's safe to say that your date's first impres- sion has gone whirling down the drain. Unfortunately, some guys are missing that key genetic link that infuses them with the importance of first impressions and class. I'm not sure of the conversa- tion the two of you had, but he must have been a real gem to redeem himself for the possibility of a second date with you. Now, if on the second date he shows up smelly and dirty again, this might be your sign that he's just not that into you — or his personal hygiene. But for a moment, let's boost you up onto that "princess pedestal" that all us girls have in our bedrooms. All men should treat you the very best, with the utmost respect, and make you feel like the most important woman in the room. If your new beau shows in stale shorts, I'm not sure he's the one who is going to be bringing you fresh roses the rest of your life. In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region. If you would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or rlachover@thejewishnews.com . 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