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December 01, 2005 - Image 29

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2005-12-01

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

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to start, he's ready to start. We got
that straightened out in a hurry.
Needless to say, for our second
daughter's baby naming, my par-
ents were prompt.
Over the years, we have estab-
lished a tradition with our par-.
ents of helping with each other's
holidays. My wife's parents obvi-
ously didn't need any coaching in
Judaism. To a great degree, they
already know a lot about my
Christian holidays and rituals.
(In America, it's hard for anyone
not to know.) That didn't mean
that we didn't have to explain our
family's game plan, though. They
wanted to know what to do when
Christmas and Easter came
around. Like my wife and daugh-,
ters, they do not observe my holi-
days, but they are very happy to
help me celebrate them.
For example, when we visit my
in-laws in Boston for Passover,
we are usually there during my
holiday of Good Friday. It is not
uncommon for one or both of
my wife's parents to go to church
with me to keep me company.
When I see them sitting there
beside me, I can't help but reflect
on how far we have come in our
comfort levels with each other.
(One more thing to thank God
for while I'm there.)
Likewise, when a Jewish holi-
day comes up, my parents are
now very excited to help my wife
and daughters celebrate. My
mom and dad, sister, brother and
their families all look forward to
our annual Chanukah party. We
make latkes, sing "Maoz Tzur"
and spin dreidels for Jelly Bellies.
Comfort and acceptance don't
always come instantly. You must
be patient. Know ahead of time
that parents may be reluctant
and confused. Don't get frustrat-
ed; keep coaching them. Even
after 14 years of marriage, I still
have to remind my dad that one
doesn't say, "Happy Yom Kippur."
They eventually catch on. 0

Jim Keen is author of the book
"Inside Intermarriage: A Christian
Partner's Perspective on Raising a
Jewish Family" (URJ Press, forth-
coming) and a contributor to the
book 'The Guide to the Jewish
Interfaith Family Life: an
InterfaithFamily.corn Handbook"
(Jewish Lights Publishing). He is a
columnist for InterfaithFamily.com .
His e-mail address is
jckeen@umich.edu.

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December 1 • 2005

29

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