To Life!
>1•- Some of the best public schools in the country
INTERFAITH
are right here in your neighborhood...
Join us for two very special events on Dec 7th...
DISTRICT
OPEN HOUSE
Inclusion Works!
Wed., Dec. 7, 2005
6:30 - 8:30 p.m.
All West Bloomfield
schools and educational
programs will be open
to the public to visit on a
special evening.
Join us to:
* See our schools and
state-of-the-art facilities
* Meet teachers, principals
and support staff
* Get updated program
information
* Be a part of fine arts,
technology and athletics
demonstrations
* Learn about special
opportunities for families
considering relocating to
West Bloomfield
MANY LOCAL REALTORS ARE
HELPING TO ORGANIZE THIS
EVENT AND WILL BE ON HAND
TO PERSONALLY ASSIST YOU
How an interfaith couple can 'deal'
with their parents.
West Bloomfield
High School
INTERACTIVE
CURRICULUM
FAIR
s
Wed., Dec. 7, 2005
6:30 - 8:30 p.m.
WBHS Media Center
An exceptional way to
plan your West Bloomfield
High School career!
A unique visual display
of course offerings,
career pathways,
small school within
a school,
communities and
academies,
and individualized
academic opportunities.
Call 248-865-6450 for more information
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Thank you to ail of my wonderful family
and friends for your support during
my recent illness.
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QQ
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NM
AA
Minnie Berman
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NEED HELP
for a loved one with a disability?
FEDERATION RESOURCE LINE
(248) 592-2650 or TDD (248) 592-2349
1051860
28
Ann Arbor
ince the days of Sigmund
Freud; children have
blamed their parents for
a lot of their problems: Why they
are shy at
parties, why
they can't
find the right
job, why they
listen to rap
music and
why they still
play with
Jim Keen
Star Wars
Columnist
toys at age
40.
While I won't let Mom and
Dad entirely off the hook (espe-
cially for my hair loss), I promise
that this is not a column devoted
to parent bashing.
However, I will make the bold
statement that, for many inter-
faith couples, parents can be a
big source of anxiety. It's how we
choose to handle this anxiety
that can make family life miser-
able or warm and loving. When it
comes to parents, don't just deal
with them — include them.
Most children generally want
to please their parents, whether
they admit to it or not. Interfaith
couples additionally have the
task of explaining why they've
chosen to date or marry some-
one of a different faith. Very fre-
quently, this announcement is
met with disappointment, mis-
understanding and even rejec-
tion. When this happens, there
are a couple of options.
Couples can reject the parents
right back. Or, they can involve
the parents. Making parents
active participants in your inter-
faith life helps build trust and
understanding.
At The Beginning
Before my wife and I were
engaged, we told our parents that
we had decided to raise our chil-
dren Jewish. This was hard on
my Protestant parents. We also
said that I was not going to con-
vert to Judaism. This was hard on
my wife's parents. However, we
made it very clear that we want-
ed all of our parents to be
involved in our lives. Both of us
come from close families, and we
wanted it to stay that way.
Involvement started with us
asking for their help in planning
the wedding. Whatever type of
ceremony we came up with, we
wanted both of our families to
feel welcome. By including every-
one, we had two families join
together for what was a wonder-
ful and lively "Jewish-ish" wed-
ding.
Inclusion did not end with our
marriage vows. When our first
daughter was born, we had a brit
bat in our home. Yes, this is a
Jewish ritual, but we made sure
'to include all the grandparents.
My in-laws said the blessings
over the wine and challah.
Although mother and father had
never even heard of a baby nam-
ing, we still had them carry our
daughter into the room as part of
the ceremony.
In the days leading up to the
baby naming, it wasn't uncom-
mon to hear from members of
my family, "Didn't you already
name her at the hospital?" This is
where education comes into play.
Getting Acclimated •
One of the greatest ways of
reducing anxiety, misunder-
standing, misconception and
exclusion is to teach your parents
about your spouse's religion.
Once they understood what the
ritual was all about, how it was to
be performed, and — most
importantly — that we wanted
them to participate, they seemed
to relax and enjoy the whole cer-
emony.
The brit bat for our first
daughter went beautifully, except
we forgot to tell my family that
they shouldn't show up fashion-
ably late. When the rabbi is ready
December 12005
vng