The Scene
requires emergency action.
"If you only meet 10 men in a year
and you're thinking you want to find a
husband, it's unlikely he's going to be
one of those 10," Greenwald said. "If
you meet 100 men in a year, it's a lot
more likely he's going to be in that
group," she said.
Greenwald grew up as a Conservative
dating world. The overall goal is to gen-
Jew
and says she was looking for a
erate a volume of dates and suitors so
Jewish
man, but had she been older than
that you maximize your choices.
35
and
searching for a husband, she
That's how 39-year-old Rachel caught
would
not
have ruled out non-Jews. She
Brad Greenwald, who grew up in
encountered these issues in
Livonia and West
seminars she has taught at
Bloomfield. His father, Jerry
synagogues.
Greenwald, was vice chair-
"What I hear a lot is that
man of Chrysler under Lee
Jewish
men and women are
Iococa in the 1980s. His
narrowing
the criteria one
mother, Glenda Greenwald,
more
notch
to look for
started Michigan Woman
only Jewish husbands and
magazine in the mid-'80s.
wives. While I certainly
They were among early
advocate finding the reli-
members of Rabbi Sherwin
gion that is your first
Wine's Humanistic Judaism
choice, I guess I don't
movement.
believe that after 35, it's
The author used her own
your
only option,"
advice from "The Program"
Greenwald said.
(Step 12) to cast a wide net
Rachel Greenwald
One of her clients, who
during an event party she
had
always wanted to find
hosted to promote herself to
a
Jewish
man, decided on
possible suitors. On her Web site,
her
40th
birthday
that
maybe that wasn't
vvww.findah.usbandafter35.com
what
God
had
intended
for her. She
Greenwald admits she got married at age
opened
up
her
criteria
and
that year met
28, not after age 35. She and Brad have
a man who was not Jewish. Later, how-
been married 11 years, and live in
ever, he decided to convert to Judaism.
Denver with their three children.
"The Program," as outlined in the
Serious Steps
book, is so intensive partly because it's
To
succeed in finding a husband, there
targeted toward women older than 35,
are
15 not-so-easy steps. In Step 3,
Greenwald explained.
"Packaging:
Create Your Best Look,"
"It really is different looking for a hus-
women must evaluate their personal
band after 35," Greenwald said. "There
"package," including hair, make-up,
are fewer men ... it's Marriage 911. It
Man Hunt
A new book tells women older than age 35 to take
a business-like approach to find that lucky guy.
J OANNA BRODER
Special to the Jewish News
II
achel Greenwald's debut
book, Find a Husband After
35 Using What I Learned at
Harvard Business School
(Ballantine Books, $22.95), is not your
"normal" self-help book for singles look-
ing for mates. You won't find yourself
with this program analyzing why past
relationships didn't work out; you'll be
far too busy.
"A lot of dating books go into the psy-
chology of why you're single (and) find-
ing the right mate (but) this book is all
about action. It's all about looking for-
ward," said Greenwald, who graduated
from Harvard Business School in 1993.
Action is good, but only if you have
the stamina to follow through after read-
ing Greenwald's 300-plus-page book and
absorbing her savvy and sometimes
nutty advice. The book is due in book-
stores Sept. 16.
Greenwald runs a dating consultation
business and lectures all over the country
about finding a husband after 35. She is
the former director of marketing for
Carolee Jewelry and is also the "Love
Over 40" advice columnist on
MSN.com
Each chapter of Find a Husband pro-
files a new marketing strategy, which
Greenwald explains and applies to the
SCENE HAPPENINGS
For college age through 30-something.
This calendar usually appears the second
Friday and the last Friday of the month.
Sept. 19 Friday, 7 p.m. Hillel of Metro
Detroit Shabbat in the Burbs, hosted by
Elana Balkin. Cost: $5 in advance or $8
at the door. Shomer Shabbat housing is
available. RSVP: Lesley Zwick, (313)
577-3459 or hillelpd@wayne.edu
Sept. 21 Sunday, 7 p.m. Hillel of
Metro Detroit Who Dunnit Dinner at
Dave & Busters, Utica. Cost: $20
includes murder mystery, dinner and a
game card. RSVP by Sept. 17: Lesley
Zwick, (313) 577-3459 or
hillelod@wavne.edu
9/12
2003
90
Sept. 24 Wednesday, 8-9 p.m. Hillel of
Metro Detroit Torah on Tap, D'Amato's,
Royal Oak. RSVP: Lesley Zwick, (313)
577-3459 or hillelpd@wayne.edu
Sept. 29 Monday, 7 p.m. Hillel of
Metro Detroit Dress for Success,
Nordstrom's, Somerset Collection, Troy.
Ages 21 and up. RSVP by Sept. 25:
Lesley Zwick, (313) 577-3459 or hll-
lelpd@wayne.edu
September-October Hillel of Metro
Detroit Bowling League at Royal Oak
Lanes. Cost: $60 per person includes
six weeks of bowling and pizza. RSVP:
Lesley Zwick, (313) 577-3459 or
hillelpd@wayne.edu
HMD Names
Karen Urman
Hillel of Metropolitan Detroit has hired
Karen Urman as
engagement director
to connect new stu-
dents and young
adults throughout the
area and involve them
in the Jewish commu-
nity.
Urman will be
working at Wayne
Urman
State University,
Oakland University,
Oakland Community College and
Lawrence Technological University.
A native of Montreal, she moved
to Florida at age 6. Urman holds a
clothes, weight, posture tooth whiteness
and much more. This can get costly.
For example, she suggests having your
make-up professionally done before
each date.
But it doesn't end with your own
analysis; the participant must also ask
six friends (three male and three
female) for their honest feedback about
ways to improve her appearance.
"Sorry, but you need the brutal
truth," she said. "This is no time to
worry about getting your feelings hurt."
If you think all this is humiliating,
just wait until you reach Step 10:
"Telemarketing." Here, Greenwald
advises participants to call everyone
they know and directly ask to get fixed
up.
She may go over the top with Step
14: "Quarterly Performance Review."
The participant recruits a friend to con-
duct exit interviews with ex-dates and
ex-boyfriends. The friend must call
these men and ask them questions,
such as "What qualities could she most
improve upon?" and "What advice
would you give her about future dates
and relationships?"
But that's "The Program" mindset —
doing whatever it takes to find a won-
derful husband. Greenwald encourages
participants to take their husband search
as seriously as they would if they were
running a business. Women on "The
Program" must work at their husband
goal constantly, keep detailed records of
their dates, evaluate results regularly and
stay emotionally afloat, even after a mul-
titude of disastrous dates and false starts.
This is not easy stuff.
"One common denominator that I
see in women who find husbands on
B.A. in psychology from the
University of South Florida and most
recently was Young Adult Division
director for the Jewish Federation of
Metropolitan Detroit. She previously
worked as assistant regional director
of Florida B'nai B'rith Youth
Organization.
College Loans
Still Available
College students can still apply for
interest-free loans for the 2003-4
school year through the Jewish
Educational Loan Service.
Applicants must be full-time stu-
dents, be able to document financial
need, attend a Michigan educational