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I
Cover Story: People Of The Books
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How-to book on Jewish grieving uplifts the souls
of mourned and mourner alike.
DAVID SACHS
Editorial Assistant
A
s a Jewish educator on the
lecture circuit, Lori •
Palatnik's most requested_
topic has been the fate of
the Jewish soul in the afterlife.
Many Jews, she has found, are not
familiar with Jewish concepts of the
world to come,
some relying
on misconcep-
tions gleaned
from the pre-
dominant
Christian cul-
ture.
She has met
so many Jews
who didn't
know how to
mourn Jewishly
that she felt
compelled to
write a step-by-
step guidebook
for Jewish
mourners.
Her book,
Remember My
Soul: What To
Do In Memory
of a Loved One — A Path of Reflection,
Inspiration and Personal Growth
(Leviathan Press, $17), supplies the
bereaved with a concise roadmap,
from shiva through the unveiling.
Palatnik explains the Jewish con-
cepts of soul and afterlife — that the
status of the deceased's soul in the
world to come can be enhanced by
the good deeds of mourners acting in
the deceased's name. "Good deeds" by
mourners include saying Kaddish (the
memorial prayer), doing charitable
acts and studying Jewish law.
These pro-active deeds of mourners
can also increase their own spirituality
as well as improving the deceased's
soul's fate in the afterlife.
"She is 'right-on' by taking a pro-
active stand," said Rabbi E.B. "Bunny"
Freedman of Detroit's Jewish Hospice
and Chaplaincy Network. "It's very in
keeping with the Jewish traditions.
"Don't ask why do bad things hap-
pen to good people, but when bad
things happen, ask what do we do
about it," he said.
"A mourner could slip into depres-
sion, but she says let's react in a posi-
tive way. Let's do positive, progressive
things to improve our own souls that
are also a merit for the departed.
"The Jewish concept is that a soul
is on this earth to accomplish things,
to do mitzvot, to
do good deeds.
Once a person is
no longer able to
do that in a physi-
cal sense, his surro-
gates left behind,
Lori Palatnik
children and loved ones., can do things
on their behalf."
In its most unique aspect,
Remember My Soul offers a 10-
minute-a-day study guide on basic
Jewish principles, such as Torah,
Shabbat and the Jewish view of love,
for the 30-day mourning period after
burial; It then asks the mourner to
relate a remembrance of the deceased
to the Jewish concept just studied.
It provides writing space for a daily
diary to record thoughts and memo-
ries of the deceased, as the mourner
studies. It, in effect, creates a record of
one's memories about the deceased,
for later remembrance and reflection.
"It's so heartwarming," Palatkin
said. "I speak all over North America
and people come up to me and say
how much the book helped them
through a time that's very, very diffi-
cult and inspired them to grow
Jewishly."
Palatnik is a Toronto native who
partied in Detroit's Greektown when
she was a University of Windsor com-
munications student. Though she
achieved professional success as an
advertising copywriter in her 20s, she
felt a need to discover her spiritual
roots.
"I had questions," she said.
"Should I marry a Jew? Should I have
Jewish children? What's unique about
being Jewish? Is it worth carrying on?
"I'm a very 'to-the-source' kind of
person. I figured if I want to learn
about being Jewish, I'll do it in Israel
and talk to the people there. I started
learning at the women's branch of
Aish HaTorah in Jerusalem and I real-
ized there was so much to this, it was
so deep and so . beautiful, there was
such wisdom.
"And it was so relevant. Judaism was
so irrelevant when I was growing up."
While in Jerusalem, she met her
future husband, Rabbi Yaacov
Palatnik of Chicago. They eventually
founded the Village Shul, an Aish
HaTorah-affiliated synagogue in
Toronto, where they now reside with
their five children.
"The shul is run under the Orthodox
tradition, but 95 percent of our mem-
bers are not Orthodox," she said.
Palatnik's previous book, Friday
Night and Beyond (Jason Aronson)
walks the reader through Shabbat,
from beginning to end.
Rabbi Freedman sums up Palatnik's
most recent efforts on the back cover
of her book: "Remember My Soul
teaches the bereaved to harness the
rich resources of Jewish spirituality. It
demonstrates how to turn the pain of
losing a dear one into a vehicle for
human wholeness." I I
Lori Palatnik speaks at Jewish
Book Fair 2 p.m. Sunday, Nov.
7, at the Jimmy Prentis Morris
Building of the Jewish
Community Center in Oak
Park, sponsored by Aish
HaTorah, the Jewish Hospice
and Chaplaincy Network and
Ira Kaufman Chapel.