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Sugar Tree Plaza Under supervision of the "K-COQ" H rr.zh j American Heart : Association-NV Ftghang Heart Diseas e Stroke Medical miracles start with research How-to book on Jewish grieving uplifts the souls of mourned and mourner alike. DAVID SACHS Editorial Assistant A s a Jewish educator on the lecture circuit, Lori • Palatnik's most requested_ topic has been the fate of the Jewish soul in the afterlife. Many Jews, she has found, are not familiar with Jewish concepts of the world to come, some relying on misconcep- tions gleaned from the pre- dominant Christian cul- ture. She has met so many Jews who didn't know how to mourn Jewishly that she felt compelled to write a step-by- step guidebook for Jewish mourners. Her book, Remember My Soul: What To Do In Memory of a Loved One — A Path of Reflection, Inspiration and Personal Growth (Leviathan Press, $17), supplies the bereaved with a concise roadmap, from shiva through the unveiling. Palatnik explains the Jewish con- cepts of soul and afterlife — that the status of the deceased's soul in the world to come can be enhanced by the good deeds of mourners acting in the deceased's name. "Good deeds" by mourners include saying Kaddish (the memorial prayer), doing charitable acts and studying Jewish law. These pro-active deeds of mourners can also increase their own spirituality as well as improving the deceased's soul's fate in the afterlife. "She is 'right-on' by taking a pro- active stand," said Rabbi E.B. "Bunny" Freedman of Detroit's Jewish Hospice and Chaplaincy Network. "It's very in keeping with the Jewish traditions. "Don't ask why do bad things hap- pen to good people, but when bad things happen, ask what do we do about it," he said. "A mourner could slip into depres- sion, but she says let's react in a posi- tive way. Let's do positive, progressive things to improve our own souls that are also a merit for the departed. "The Jewish concept is that a soul is on this earth to accomplish things, to do mitzvot, to do good deeds. Once a person is no longer able to do that in a physi- cal sense, his surro- gates left behind, Lori Palatnik children and loved ones., can do things on their behalf." In its most unique aspect, Remember My Soul offers a 10- minute-a-day study guide on basic Jewish principles, such as Torah, Shabbat and the Jewish view of love, for the 30-day mourning period after burial; It then asks the mourner to relate a remembrance of the deceased to the Jewish concept just studied. It provides writing space for a daily diary to record thoughts and memo- ries of the deceased, as the mourner studies. It, in effect, creates a record of one's memories about the deceased, for later remembrance and reflection. "It's so heartwarming," Palatkin said. "I speak all over North America and people come up to me and say how much the book helped them through a time that's very, very diffi- cult and inspired them to grow Jewishly." Palatnik is a Toronto native who partied in Detroit's Greektown when she was a University of Windsor com- munications student. Though she achieved professional success as an advertising copywriter in her 20s, she felt a need to discover her spiritual roots. "I had questions," she said. "Should I marry a Jew? Should I have Jewish children? What's unique about being Jewish? Is it worth carrying on? "I'm a very 'to-the-source' kind of person. I figured if I want to learn about being Jewish, I'll do it in Israel and talk to the people there. I started learning at the women's branch of Aish HaTorah in Jerusalem and I real- ized there was so much to this, it was so deep and so . beautiful, there was such wisdom. "And it was so relevant. Judaism was so irrelevant when I was growing up." While in Jerusalem, she met her future husband, Rabbi Yaacov Palatnik of Chicago. They eventually founded the Village Shul, an Aish HaTorah-affiliated synagogue in Toronto, where they now reside with their five children. "The shul is run under the Orthodox tradition, but 95 percent of our mem- bers are not Orthodox," she said. Palatnik's previous book, Friday Night and Beyond (Jason Aronson) walks the reader through Shabbat, from beginning to end. Rabbi Freedman sums up Palatnik's most recent efforts on the back cover of her book: "Remember My Soul teaches the bereaved to harness the rich resources of Jewish spirituality. It demonstrates how to turn the pain of losing a dear one into a vehicle for human wholeness." I I Lori Palatnik speaks at Jewish Book Fair 2 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 7, at the Jimmy Prentis Morris Building of the Jewish Community Center in Oak Park, sponsored by Aish HaTorah, the Jewish Hospice and Chaplaincy Network and Ira Kaufman Chapel.