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Feminism At 25:
The Pendulum Swings
JANE CLIFFORD SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
7071 Orchard Lake Road
Sr S Building, Suite 215
West Bloomfield, MI 48322
just North of 14 Mile
• Wheelchair accessible
• Ample parking
(810) 851-0610
I
CALLED
MOM FOR LUNCH ON TUESDAY,
BUT SHE WAS GOING TO A BOOK
REVIEW IN THE LIBRARY. -
I DROPPED BY ON THURSDAY, BUT
SHE COULDN'T COME BECAUSE
SHE WAS BUSY IN THE ACTIVITIES
ROOM WORKING ON HER NEW
EXERCISE PLAN. I INVITED MYSELF
TO LUNCH WITH HER ON FRIDAY,
AND THE FOOD WAS TERRIFIC. I
TOLD MOM TO CALL MY BROTHER
AND LET HIM KNOW HOW SHE
LIKES HER NEW HOME AT
THE HEATHERWOOD. I HOPE SHE
CAN FIND TIME TO CALL.
the IM
ATHERWOOD
RETIREMENT COMMUNITY
Retirement _Living for the
fictive 5 Senior
For information call
Kathy Ostrowski
(810) 350-1777
22800 Civic
CENTER DRIVE
SOUTHFIELD, MICHIGAN
SVA-41 n1N-
en:
ift ► nbserip on to
*
WS • (
0 ink-oink. Ah, the call of the
wild. The new wild man
who's sick of feminism and
— snort, snort — is happy to
say so.
No, it's not Rush Limbaugh,
raging against his arch-enemies,
the "Feminazis." This wild man
is the "new post-sensitive male,"
according to a recent issue of
Newsweek magazine, or the "al-
pha male," as Esquire magazine
labeled him.
So, who is he?
He wants to be
the leader of the
pack, which is
where "alpha"
comes from - a
term used by an-
imal behaviorists
to describe the
dominant mem-
ber of a pack of
dogs or wolves or
... well, you get
the picture. He
wants to be in charge.
The new "post-sensitive man"
sounds a lot like the old insensi-
tive man - best seen, some say,
by viewing this fall's TV series
"Men Behaving Badly," whose
characters make other men
laugh and most women cringe.
But, what happens in TV land
is generally just a reflection of
what happens out here, so we
took a look around for this new
man who apparently is a combi-
nation of "Beavis and Butt-head,"
John Wayne and cave man.
He may smoke cigars, wear a
three-piece suit and drink mar-
tinis, or wear work boots and
never miss a day at the gym, but
the most common trait is that he
wants to be top dog in his rela-
tionships with women.
That battle cry may be best
summarized in The Code, a
brand-new paperback, written by
Nate Penn and Lawrence
LaRose, in response to The Rules.
The latter is a guide for
women who want to "catch" their
man. The former is, basically,
how not to get caught. Or, as The
Code's subtitle reads: "Time-test-
ed Secrets for Getting What You
Want from Women - Without
Marrying Them!"
We can't be much more spe-
cific about its contents in a fam-
ily newspaper. Let's just say that
Penn and LaRose have said out
loud what lots of guys may be
thinking - guys who don't see 25
years of feminism as progress.
Some observers, it seems,
have long thought that it was
Jane Clifford writes for Copley
News Service.
only a matter of time before
progress gave way to pent-up
frustration.
"This is definitely happening,"
says Warren Farrell, San Diego-
based author of the best-selling
books Why Men Are the Way
They Are and The Myth of Male
Power.
He also knows that he's a
poster child for the "New Age
sensitive man," and laughs at the
notion that he
might be an en-
dangered
species.
"If I were to
summarize 25
years of femi-
nism, it would
be to say that
we've entered
the era of the
multi-optioned
woman and the
no-option man."
Farrell ex-
plains: "Woman can work full
time, part time or not at all."
He adds, Most men feel their
three options are: They can work
full time, work full time or work
full time."
And men are not happy about
that, so the one place where they
can change, without being de-
moted or, worse, fired, for polit-
ically incorrect behavior is in
their relationships.
In other words, Farrell says,
men are likely to be aggressive
in trying to make change and
then, one hopes, will mellow out
to ... just assertive. But even this
"New Age sensitive man" is not
against such change.
"Ws definitely good, but it's go-
ing to be messier before ifs clean-
er because men are poor
expressers of their feelings. But
exactly for that reason, they need
to learn how to do it. Women
were often aggressive before they
were assertive and the same can
be expected with this." .
Farrell says men are "upset
and angry and hurt." They work
and work and work and, when
they get home, they get criticized.
They are ragged-on for working
too hard and for not working
hard enough at home. Which
makes them feel unloved. What
do men want? In a word, says
Farrell: a-p-p-r-e-c-i-a-t-i-o-n. ❑
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