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WE'RE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE
U American Heart Association
ile was to actively plan this trip.
It kept me focused on something
positive."
Now, Ms. Bobrow realizes,
even if her husband had lived
their lives still would have
changed because their children
moved out of state. Holidays
would be different than when the
children were at home. "Now I
take some time to think about
what was. It makes me sad, but
they are good memories. It's com-
forting. However, I don't stay
alone or get too deep into them.
I can't bring them back," she said.
Artist Iris Czajkowski of West
Bloomfield not only lost her hus-
band, Fritz, in 1990, she also
faced the death of a close friend
last summer. Holidays are espe-
cially sad, she said, but she has
learned to deal with them,
thanks to several counseling ses-
sions at a local synagogue.
To cope with the loneliness af-
ter the death of her husband, she
started going out with friends or
by herself. She would do an ac-
tivity, like going to a movie or vis-
iting friends, on days or times
which reminded her of Fritz.
A Few Hints For Beating The Blues
Suffering from the holiday self and continually being in a
blues? You're not alone. Many sad mood.
Ms. Liroff recommends seek-
people experience a bit of de-
pression during the holidays, ing professional help if symp-
says Maly Ellen Gaffney Liroff, toms persist more than two
an employee assistance coun- weeks. "You may need to see
selor at the Detroit Medical Cen- someone to get relief," she said.
"Many holiday blues — such as
ter.
"Burdens get heavier during feeling sad, lonely and over-
holidays," she said. "For people whelmed.— will pass once you
in recovery, the holidays
have built-in stresses and
its a season where they
try to stick by their recov-
ery program.
"One way to handle it
is by identifying the stres-
sor. For example, if the
stressor is loneliness, call
a friend or sponsor. Key in
to the stress and try to fo-
cus on what will make
you more comfortable. "If
there are cocktails at a
party, bring a friend or
don't go."
Other tips include pin-
ning special activities for
yourself and getting
enough rest, says Ms.
Liroff. And remember that
alcohol is also a depres
Judy B obrow: A shadow cast by her
sant.
You don't have to be husba nd's death.
married or have a signif-
icant other to enjoy the season. get through New Year's Eve.
Lynn Portnoy is the owner of a People get depressed if they
retail shop in Royal Oak for have no one to share that 'glam-
professional women. She only orous moment.' Once Jan. 1 ar-
closes her store three holidays rives, they often get the feeling
a year Thanksgiving, Christ- that 'now I can move on.' "
"If life isn't meaningful and
mas and New Year's Day — so
she doesn't have much time for you can't enjoy it, do some-
thing," adds Dr. Saferstein.
holiday celebrations.
"I don't have holidays like oth- "Try to seek professional help
ers, so on my day off I invite peo- or try to do something different
ple over and I cook," she said. in your life."
To choose a counselor or psy-
"As a person without a family, I
make a point of doing it at my chologist, Dr. Saferstein sug-
own house and having a few gests confiding in someone you
people — all strays (without trust or asking your family
families) — over. This works for physician for recommendations.
He also suggests asking
me. I never get depressed."
When do the blues become friends. Make sure to ask if they
serious enough to seek help? had a good experience with their
Clinical psychologist Dr. Daniel counselor or psychologist and if
Saferstein says persons who they felt they benefitted from
are emotionally isolated are at the visits.
Finally, Dr. Saferstein rec-
greatest risk for depression.
Other warning signs include a ommends looking for a profes-
loss of energy, the inability to sional who is licensed.
sleep, an inability to enjoy one-