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PHOTOS BY GLENN TRI
I
The happiness of
holidays can lead
some people to
depression.
PAMELA YOUNG
SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
1011
ith the holiday season,
there's a strong em-
phasis on happiness, of-
fice parties and family
gatherings. It can also be
a time for feeling lonely or
depressed.
"Most people don't need to seek
professional help for holiday
blues," said clinical psychologist
Dr. Daniel Saferstein. "If they are
feeling down for Chanukah, they
may feel better for New Year's.
It's not so compelling that they
find a therapist, but it's how they
cope and create rituals in life that
are meaningful"
Pamela Young is a Detroit area
Christmas can be an intense
time, especially for Jewish fami-
lies. "Some Jews may feel more
prone to isolation because it is
not their time of year," said Dr.
Saferstein. "Chanukah's more for
children and the children get pre-
sents. For people without kids, it
definitely is not the equivalent of
Christmas."
Holiday blues aren't limited to
the Thanksgiving/Chanukah/
Christmas/New Year rush either.
Many people experience depres-
sion during Passover and Rosh
Hashanah-Yom Kippur.
Judy Bobrow of Southfield
always looked forward to cele-
brating __
her husband Shelly's fa-
Passover, by hosting a who counsels hospital employees
large group of family and and their families.
friends. When Shelly died
"You have to plan how much
3 1/2 years ago, Ms. Bo- money you want to spend and
brow discovered the hol- which activities you want to do
idays weren't the same.
and not do. Make sure you're eat-
"We would make a ing and getting enough rest. It's
big deal out of the holi- easy to skip meals and lose sleep.
days and had a unique When rested, you can handle a
way of celebrating. For lot more stress."
Chanukah, we would
Family gatherings can be very
draw names for gifts with stressful, said Ms. Liroff, because
a dollar limit and our kids there are no perfect families. "If
would try to come up (to you haven't resolved conflicts
Detroit). It was a fun time before gatherings, create some
and Shelly loved it be- distance; keep conversation su-
cause he was the master perficial," she said. "If someone
of ceremonies," said Ms. is always picking on you, move to
Bobrow, 61.
the other side of the table or go
"After his death, it still watch the football game. That's
could be fun, but it taking care of yourself."
wouldn't be the same for
Some persons have a hard
us. You couldn't not no- time celebrating while others
tice Shelly was missing. only derive meaning from life by
I think that is what working, added Dr. Saferstein.
makes holidays painful "People who are alone have the
when someone dies, hardest time in general, and hol-
whether it is Chanukah, idays intensify these feelings," he
Passover or any other said.
holiday; there's definite-
If depression is related to the
ly a void,"
loss of a loved one, one way of cop-
Young people aren't ing is to start a new tradition,
immune to the blues. Dr. said Ms. Liroff. "If it is the holi-
Saferstein, a former Hen- days and you are grieving for the
ry Ford Hospital psy- loss of your mother and mom
chologist now in private used to cook dinner, it's okay to
practice in Ann Arbor, go to someone else's house," she
counsels many students said. "Rather than feeling the
from the University of pain, change some of the tradi-
Michigan.
tions if the confronting situation
"I see a lot of students is too painful."
who are anxious, or have life ad-
Judy Bobrow discovered sev-
justment problems. They may eral valuable techniques for deal-
have the illusion that everyone is ing with the blues.
in love. Some get down during
To overcome her loneliness and
winter and the December holi- the fear of doing new activities
days add to it," he said.
alone, Ms. Bobrow planned a trip
Many people also are stressed to Paris by herself. "I was ab-
out this time of the year by mon- solutely terrified. I didn't know
ey worries, concerns about lay- how to speak French and didn't
offs, and tensions within families, know what to do," she said. "But
said Mary Ellen Gaffney Liroff, I found that it was a major city
an employee assistance coun- and the airport has to make it
selor with the Detroit Medical easy for you because travelers
Center.
come from all over.
"They're looking for the perfect
"I tried to prove that I would
gift when there is r.o such thing; be okay and still manage. I felt
there are more parties, more very fragile for a long time and
shopping and you run out of time one way to prove I was not frag-
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