4 MINMS.WWW,,M3SSUMMENNISIKOMMSIEMMISNOWSMOMMORM,„ ,,, Ae.v,:aZa.....,o,VM.W£,ou.M%%. , ...o:'a'M.M>S't:SKSWMX=3M:t`ZV.WRZ:STZ, '17,,MieMtM:=tMWW2:.WXW.eo'.'Zt..Mg.IK:K::,iaKL'aa:,..SS52ZSM:;Zt'a='MW2<=r0.,Wa%,,VZWZZZ4SV3M:Wi,.TM:::=fa.,W=:SMS.n PHOTOS BY GLENN TRI I The happiness of holidays can lead some people to depression. PAMELA YOUNG SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS 1011 ith the holiday season, there's a strong em- phasis on happiness, of- fice parties and family gatherings. It can also be a time for feeling lonely or depressed. "Most people don't need to seek professional help for holiday blues," said clinical psychologist Dr. Daniel Saferstein. "If they are feeling down for Chanukah, they may feel better for New Year's. It's not so compelling that they find a therapist, but it's how they cope and create rituals in life that are meaningful" Pamela Young is a Detroit area Christmas can be an intense time, especially for Jewish fami- lies. "Some Jews may feel more prone to isolation because it is not their time of year," said Dr. Saferstein. "Chanukah's more for children and the children get pre- sents. For people without kids, it definitely is not the equivalent of Christmas." Holiday blues aren't limited to the Thanksgiving/Chanukah/ Christmas/New Year rush either. Many people experience depres- sion during Passover and Rosh Hashanah-Yom Kippur. Judy Bobrow of Southfield always looked forward to cele- brating __ her husband Shelly's fa- Passover, by hosting a who counsels hospital employees large group of family and and their families. friends. When Shelly died "You have to plan how much 3 1/2 years ago, Ms. Bo- money you want to spend and brow discovered the hol- which activities you want to do idays weren't the same. and not do. Make sure you're eat- "We would make a ing and getting enough rest. It's big deal out of the holi- easy to skip meals and lose sleep. days and had a unique When rested, you can handle a way of celebrating. For lot more stress." Chanukah, we would Family gatherings can be very draw names for gifts with stressful, said Ms. Liroff, because a dollar limit and our kids there are no perfect families. "If would try to come up (to you haven't resolved conflicts Detroit). It was a fun time before gatherings, create some and Shelly loved it be- distance; keep conversation su- cause he was the master perficial," she said. "If someone of ceremonies," said Ms. is always picking on you, move to Bobrow, 61. the other side of the table or go "After his death, it still watch the football game. That's could be fun, but it taking care of yourself." wouldn't be the same for Some persons have a hard us. You couldn't not no- time celebrating while others tice Shelly was missing. only derive meaning from life by I think that is what working, added Dr. Saferstein. makes holidays painful "People who are alone have the when someone dies, hardest time in general, and hol- whether it is Chanukah, idays intensify these feelings," he Passover or any other said. holiday; there's definite- If depression is related to the ly a void," loss of a loved one, one way of cop- Young people aren't ing is to start a new tradition, immune to the blues. Dr. said Ms. Liroff. "If it is the holi- Saferstein, a former Hen- days and you are grieving for the ry Ford Hospital psy- loss of your mother and mom chologist now in private used to cook dinner, it's okay to practice in Ann Arbor, go to someone else's house," she counsels many students said. "Rather than feeling the from the University of pain, change some of the tradi- Michigan. tions if the confronting situation "I see a lot of students is too painful." who are anxious, or have life ad- Judy Bobrow discovered sev- justment problems. They may eral valuable techniques for deal- have the illusion that everyone is ing with the blues. in love. Some get down during To overcome her loneliness and winter and the December holi- the fear of doing new activities days add to it," he said. alone, Ms. Bobrow planned a trip Many people also are stressed to Paris by herself. "I was ab- out this time of the year by mon- solutely terrified. I didn't know ey worries, concerns about lay- how to speak French and didn't offs, and tensions within families, know what to do," she said. "But said Mary Ellen Gaffney Liroff, I found that it was a major city an employee assistance coun- and the airport has to make it selor with the Detroit Medical easy for you because travelers Center. come from all over. "They're looking for the perfect "I tried to prove that I would gift when there is r.o such thing; be okay and still manage. I felt there are more parties, more very fragile for a long time and shopping and you run out of time one way to prove I was not frag- CY) CC CC) LU LU 63