Ro a
MICHAEL BENNETT
AND CAROL KAHN
SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
100
When out-of-town
doesn't mean
out-of-mind.
ots of things can work against
a budding romantic relationship.
Different habits. Conflicting
schedules. Parents. Pets.
But the '90s have added an-
other wrinkle: distance.
Things are a far cry from
previous generations, when
you would be born, marry
and die amongst people you
knew all your life. These days,
people are on the go.
Between 1985 and 1990, near-
ly 50 percent of American Jews
moved to a new home, and al-
most half of those were moves
to another city, according to the
National Jewish Population Sur-
vey.
In today's mobile society, hol-
iday visits back home or just
plain fate are likely to bring to-
gether two people who live states
apart. Some will go to any length
to make the relationship work.
Why do they have to, and is it
worth it?
Here's what some long-dis-
tance couples have to say:
• In the Beginning: When Lynn
read Stuart's personal ad in her
hometown Jewish weekly, she
assumed it was someone in the
vicinity. She liked the ad, so she
sent him a letter and enclosed a
picture — of her dog.
He called after he stopped
laughing. They've been having
lots of laughs ever since, first over
the phone and eventually to-
gether, when they finally bridged
the 100 miles between them.
The distance hasn't been a hin-
drance yet. In fact, Lynn thinks
it makes the relationship more
exciting.
"Instead of just getting to-
gether, you make plans, you
make more of an effort. You're
not going to drive two hours just
to hang out. And if that's what
MICHAEL E. BENNETT and
CAROL KAHN often write about
the single life.
happens, usually the dating will
cease," she says.
•Two Cities, Two Careers: Mar-
ty and Cathy got acquainted af-
ter mutual friends nudged Marty
long enough that he broke down
and made the long-distance call.
They found they had a lot in com-
mon, so he got in his car, drove
several hundred miles, and they
met.
They've been driving — or
— ever since.
For all the fun they're having,
they wonder where it's leading.
Their biggest obstacle: firmly
planted careers that make it dif-
ficult for either to relocate.
When feelings are strong, per-
haps one or both partners should
be willing to move. But the re-
ality, especially in today's econ-
omy, is that sometimes suitable
jobs aren't available, creating eco-
nomic stumbling blocks or prob-
lems with self-esteem.
"You'll do anything for love,"
the romantic in Marty says. The
realist side adds, "But with so
many marriages ending in di-
vorce, do you give up an estab-
lished career for it?"
• The Jury's Still Out: Greg and