Eileen met under the most Jew-
ish of circumstances — at a
milchig (dairy) buffet some mu-
tual friends had last Rosh
Hashanah. Never mind that
Eileen was just in town to cele-
brate the holiday with her fam-
ily, and she and Greg lived 600
miles apart; they still went out
for coffee afterward.
It wasn't long before the phone
lines started heating up. Then
came the airplane flights, with a
few train and car weekend ren-
dezvous thrown in.
Periodically, they'd realize how
expensive it was getting. Then
they'd realize it would be more
costly to blow a chance at true
love because they didn't want to
inconvenience their schedules or
finances.
Their decision to continue dat-
ing long-distance is a poignant re-
minder of the trade-offs involved
in dating in the`90s. They had to
work through cost effectiveness
of a successful relationship vs.
"geographic undesirability."
Finally, they decided Eileen
would move to see how the rela-
tionship would work on a more
"normal" basis. It was a big risk
for both — but three months lat-
Periodically,
they'd realize how
expensive it was
getting. Then
they'd realize it
would be more
costly to blow
a chance at love.
er they're still dating and think-
ing about the future.
They've been having lots of
fights. Learning how it feels to
fight is certainly a good barome-
ter for any relationship, and not
something you're likely to spend
time doing if you live cities apart
and see each other only on occa-
sional weekends.
"We needed to see how it was
just to hang out and get to know
each other better," Eileen says,
"instead of spending all our time
and energy planning our next
[long-distance] visit."
•The Happy Ending: David and
Cheryl hooked up on a Club Med
vacation, dated long-distance for
a year, and racked up enough fre-
quent flier miles to take a
Caribbean honeymoon compli-
ments of their favorite airline.
That was five years ago. Two
kids and one full-time career
turned consulting business lat-
er, they're still happily married
and living together.
Different people, different
dilemmas. But if there's even a
slim chance that the relationship
might be "the real thing," long-
distance dating just might be
worth the trouble.
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