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November 02, 1990 - Image 120

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1990-11-02

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

Continued from preceding page

daughter, Shoshana Miriam,
sister to Yosef Moshe. Ecstatic
grandparents are Seymour
and Harriet Sandweiss of
West Bloomfield, Sandi
Roskind of Oak Park and Dr.
William Roskind of Birm-
ingham. Excited great-grand-
mother is Esther Freedman of
Southfield. Shoshana Miriam
is named in loving memory of
her great-grandmother, Rose
Loveman Roskind, her great-
grandmother, Ida Levine, and
her great-great-grandmother,
Miriam Eder.

AUG. 2 — Paul and Marsha
(Brown) Math of Oak Park are
pleased to announce the birth
of their son, Todd Howard,
brother to Danielle Elise.
Proud grandparents are
Grace and Joe Math of Oak
Park. Maternal grandparents,

Dorothy and Philip Brown,
are deceased. Todd Howard is
named in honor of great-uncle
"Ted" Stolinsky, and uncle,
Harold Brown.

AUG. 2 — Mark and Amy
(Peele) Schatz of Novato,
Calif., are thrilled to an-
nounce the birth of their son,
Bennett Lukas, brother of
Gracie Millette. Proud grand-
parents are Harvey and
Suzanne Schatz, Marlene
Keystone Schatz, and Helen
and Wally Bachelder. Proud
great-grandmother is Anne
Keystone. Bennett Lukas is
named in loving memory of
his paternal great-grand-
father, John (Benjamin)
Keystone, and his maternal
great-grandmother, Lillian
Nickel.

SINGLE LIFE I

Psychologist Tells Why
Some Jewish Guys Flee

hooray!
- it's here -
a new baby and kids' boutique

born:

weight:

proud
parents:

visiting
hours:

1990
tons of wallpaper and window treatments
hundreds of pounds of custom and
ready-made crib and bedding ensemble

windows, walls & more inc.
5528 drake rd. • west bloomfield
313/661-3840
monday, tuesday, wednesday, friday 10 - 5
thursday 10-8 (new evening hours)
saturday 10-4

"Where You Come First"

Kosins

Uptown
Southfield Rd. at
11 1/2 Mile • 559-3900

Big & Tall
Southfield at
101/2 Mile • 569-6930

WEST BLOOMFIELD • MICHIGAN
Orchard Lake Road • North of Maple

1•1111111

■ 11.

Oriental Rugs
Today's Pleasure
Tomorrow's Treasure

• A Selective Jewish Dating Service

120

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1990

251 Merrill
Birmingham
(313) 644.7311

2915 Breton
Grand Rapids
(1-800.622-RUGS)

ELLEN BERNSTEIN

Special to The Jewish News

W

hy do some Jewish
men back off when
they fear a relation-
ship is getting too serious?
The answer lies in how
Jewish men were raised and
the roles they were sub-
consciously taught to fulfill
vis-a-vis Jewish women, says
Lawrence Levin, Ph.D., an
Atlanta, Ga., clinical psy-
chologist who specializes in
relationship issues.
The man's perception of a
Jewish woman's expecta-
tions, whether accurate or
not, often makes him back
off or avoid her when the re-
lationship gets serious, he
says.
A Jewish man bases his
perception of Jewish women
on his mother, Dr. Levin
says. Typically over-
involved with her son, a
Jewish mother rears her boy
to be a caretaker of his
mother, i.e., Jewish women.
"It's the primary injunction
of how to be a good man."
The benefit of such a mes-
sage is that a Jewish man is
often nice and sensitive
toward women, he says. The
downside is that he can't
always be honest or direct
with her if he doesn't think
they are compatible.
The man's avoiding the
truth is not deliberate or
manipulative. "Jewish men

Ellen Bernstein is a staff
writer for our sister paper, the
Atlanta Jewish Times.

feel so responsible for wo-
men's feelings that it's hard
for them to be really hon-
est," says Dr. Levin. "What
Jewish men are exquisitely
aware of is women's expecta-
tions of them — that the
woman is really wanting a
relationship. They try to
protect women's feelings by
not directly confronting or
hurting them."
Jewish men, Dr. Levin
says, are acutely sensitive to

"What Jewish men
are exquisitely
aware of is
women's
expectations of
them — that the
woman is really
wanting a
relationship."

Lawrence Levin, Ph.D.

what they perceive is the
agenda of Jewish women: a
commitment leading to mar-
riage and family. These
perceived expectations place
undue pressure on the man
to succeed professionally and
be a good family man.
In his practice, Dr. Levin
works with Jewish men who
feel it is hard to be indepen-
dent while in relationships.
"They feel swept up by
somebody's role expecta-
tions."
Men often unconsciously

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