I SINGLE LIFE I
ummunnummai
Choosing Bachelorhood
Continued from preceding page
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ASTRO CARGO VAN
STK. NO XT3227
sabotage a possible relation-
ship, which is the obvious
forerunner of marriage.
"Other reasons men do not
marry may include
unrealistic expectations or
standards in a partner,
cultural or religious dif-
ferences, career conflicts, and
fear of responsibility," says
Hillenberg.
"There's nothing wrong
with marriage," says Alan G.,
a 27-year-old Southfield at-
torney. "I may get married
eventually, but not for a
"Even though I
date, my career
gets priority right
now."
S•10 PICKUP
STK. NO. T3426
59 99
IIIIIIII I II
1
/2 TON PICKUP
STK. NO XT3288
I fit
*Lease pymt. based on approved credit on 48 mos. closed end,
72,000 total mileage w/64 per mile extra charge. To get total
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advance, sec. dept. equal to 1st mo. pymt., plate cost extra.
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34614000
iferE L DNANn-
HOURS:
Mon. & Thu.
'til 9:00
Tu., Wed., Fri.
'til 6:00
AN.
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42355 GRAND RIVER
Just East of Novi Rd., Novi
• a •• • •• • ••
w
MARLA FELDMAN
LEASING MANAGER
while. I've seen a lot of my
friends get married too young
— before they were ready.
They were divorced in just a
few years.
"I just graduated from law
school and, even though I
date, my career gets priority
right now," says Alan. "When
I'm in a position to devote
more of my time and energy
to a relationship, I probably
will. If a relationship is going
to work, it takes a lot of work.
It just wouldn't be fair to start
something — not to the girl or
myself. I'm not afraid of mar-
riage. I'm just trying to be
practical.
"And unless Venus with
arms, an IQ and a personali-
ty walks through that door
with an offer I can't refuse,
marriage will just have to
wait:'
Unwed men and women
over 30 often talk of carrying
around a lot of emotional bag-
gage, a lot of anger and an
abiding skepticism as a result
of past love affairs. Many can-
not transcend these feelings
and choose to take a path of
least resistance and withdraw
from one another.
"These days, many couples
choose to live together as op-
posed to getting married,"
says-Dr. Hillenberg. "For both
partners it may be more com-
fortable. They may have a
fear of failure, a fear of com-
mitment, a fear that once a
marriage license is signed,
the relationship will change.
Then again, they may simp-
ly dislike the potential
in-laws.
"For whatever reason,
though they may be married
in every other sense, they are
secure in knowing that there
is always an exit door."
Apparently, some men need
to have relationships while
others are perfectly content to
be alone. It has to do with
their basic character struc-
ture and personality which is
a result of the sum total of
their experiences.
For every 100 bachelors,
there are 100 complex multi-
faceted reasons why they re-
main bachelors. It's a long
walk down the aisle of
matrimony. There are those
who do it for love, others do it
for need, some do it for the ex-
ercise. And then there are the
bachelors. They don't do it at
all. 111
How To Dress
Program Theme
Reservations are still being
taken for the "Dress for Suc-
cess" seminar slated 7 p.m.
Wednesday at the John Kent
Store in the Orchard Mall.
Learn how to dress within a
budget and update a war-
drobe with minor alterations
and new accessories.
Wine and cheese will be
served. Call Leanie
Gunsberg, 661-1000, ext. 347,
to make reservations. The
program is sponsored by the
Community Network for
Jewish Singles.
Softball Sunday
In Southfield
The Community Network
for Jewish Singles will have
its weekly softball game at 10
a.m. Sunday at the baseball
diamond behind Brace-
Lederle Elementary, 18575
W. Nine Mile, Southfield.
There is a first-time fee
only to cover the cost of new
equipment. Brunch follows
the game at a local
restaurant. To register, call
CNJS, 661-1000, ex. 347. The
weekly game will continue
through . September.
Bicycle Club
Plans Meeting
Peddlers Bicycle Club will
have an organizational
meeting on Monday at 7 p.m.
at the Jewish Community
Center, Maple/Drake
Building. Call Leanie
Gunsberg, 661-1000, ext. 347,
for reservations.
Refreshments will be served.
The program is sponsored by
the Community Network for
Jewish Singles.
Toastmasters
To Gather
Toastmasters Club will
meet at the Jewish Com-
munity Center, Maple/Drake
at 7:30 p.m. Tuesdays. For in-
formation, call Roz Segal,
661-0036; or Joel Tolmich,
986-5732.
.