I SINGLE LIFE I ummunnummai Choosing Bachelorhood Continued from preceding page ..momminimm _omffsulig:111111111111111 ASTRO CARGO VAN STK. NO XT3227 sabotage a possible relation- ship, which is the obvious forerunner of marriage. "Other reasons men do not marry may include unrealistic expectations or standards in a partner, cultural or religious dif- ferences, career conflicts, and fear of responsibility," says Hillenberg. "There's nothing wrong with marriage," says Alan G., a 27-year-old Southfield at- torney. "I may get married eventually, but not for a "Even though I date, my career gets priority right now." S•10 PICKUP STK. NO. T3426 59 99 IIIIIIII I II 1 /2 TON PICKUP STK. NO XT3288 I fit *Lease pymt. based on approved credit on 48 mos. closed end, 72,000 total mileage w/64 per mile extra charge. To get total amt. multiply pymt. times 48. Subject to 4% use tax, 1st mo. in advance, sec. dept. equal to 1st mo. pymt., plate cost extra. 111111111111111111 IMP216 1141 111 1111111111111 111111 34614000 iferE L DNANn- HOURS: Mon. & Thu. 'til 9:00 Tu., Wed., Fri. 'til 6:00 AN. ,11.1111 •%1 42355 GRAND RIVER Just East of Novi Rd., Novi • a •• • •• • •• w MARLA FELDMAN LEASING MANAGER while. I've seen a lot of my friends get married too young — before they were ready. They were divorced in just a few years. "I just graduated from law school and, even though I date, my career gets priority right now," says Alan. "When I'm in a position to devote more of my time and energy to a relationship, I probably will. If a relationship is going to work, it takes a lot of work. It just wouldn't be fair to start something — not to the girl or myself. I'm not afraid of mar- riage. I'm just trying to be practical. "And unless Venus with arms, an IQ and a personali- ty walks through that door with an offer I can't refuse, marriage will just have to wait:' Unwed men and women over 30 often talk of carrying around a lot of emotional bag- gage, a lot of anger and an abiding skepticism as a result of past love affairs. Many can- not transcend these feelings and choose to take a path of least resistance and withdraw from one another. "These days, many couples choose to live together as op- posed to getting married," says-Dr. Hillenberg. "For both partners it may be more com- fortable. They may have a fear of failure, a fear of com- mitment, a fear that once a marriage license is signed, the relationship will change. Then again, they may simp- ly dislike the potential in-laws. "For whatever reason, though they may be married in every other sense, they are secure in knowing that there is always an exit door." Apparently, some men need to have relationships while others are perfectly content to be alone. It has to do with their basic character struc- ture and personality which is a result of the sum total of their experiences. For every 100 bachelors, there are 100 complex multi- faceted reasons why they re- main bachelors. It's a long walk down the aisle of matrimony. There are those who do it for love, others do it for need, some do it for the ex- ercise. And then there are the bachelors. They don't do it at all. 111 How To Dress Program Theme Reservations are still being taken for the "Dress for Suc- cess" seminar slated 7 p.m. Wednesday at the John Kent Store in the Orchard Mall. Learn how to dress within a budget and update a war- drobe with minor alterations and new accessories. Wine and cheese will be served. Call Leanie Gunsberg, 661-1000, ext. 347, to make reservations. The program is sponsored by the Community Network for Jewish Singles. Softball Sunday In Southfield The Community Network for Jewish Singles will have its weekly softball game at 10 a.m. Sunday at the baseball diamond behind Brace- Lederle Elementary, 18575 W. Nine Mile, Southfield. There is a first-time fee only to cover the cost of new equipment. Brunch follows the game at a local restaurant. To register, call CNJS, 661-1000, ex. 347. The weekly game will continue through . September. Bicycle Club Plans Meeting Peddlers Bicycle Club will have an organizational meeting on Monday at 7 p.m. at the Jewish Community Center, Maple/Drake Building. Call Leanie Gunsberg, 661-1000, ext. 347, for reservations. Refreshments will be served. The program is sponsored by the Community Network for Jewish Singles. Toastmasters To Gather Toastmasters Club will meet at the Jewish Com- munity Center, Maple/Drake at 7:30 p.m. Tuesdays. For in- formation, call Roz Segal, 661-0036; or Joel Tolmich, 986-5732. .