Marcia Seligson's 'Eternal Bliss Machine' Is Explained by Her 'Connubial Blintz'
Marcia Seligson is a very
clever lady. She has com-
piled an anthology on wed-
dings that exposes the ways
of life of many people. Her
description of folkways at
weddings w i 11 entertain
many, may anger more, will
embarrass quite a few.
She relates the results of
what may well be called
social research in "The Eter-
nal Bliss Machine: America's
Way of Wedding," published
by Morrow, and her factual-
ness is admirable.
Very little is left out. The
ways and means — and the
means include the costs and
the extravagances — are ex-
amined and exposed with
charm and dignity. Yet the
expose as a whole may
arouse derision from those
who object to the splashing
and flashing.
The Jewish story will at-
tract a great deal of atten-
tion. There are changes.
Some already are turning
down the pomp and flourish.
But the great show is still
in evidence, and in the in-
stance of Marcia Seligson's
brutally frank description of
the amassed food, the clothes
and the affluence there may
be that embarrassment that
has already caused aches
and pains by the seekers of
greater modesty and lesser
boasting and competitiveness
for spectacle.
"Connubial Blintz" is an
apt title for one of the chap-
ters in this intriguing book.
There are the caterers, the
florists, the hilarities — the
drinks! — the attitudes of
rabbis who differ in the
manner in which they submit
to what the clients desire.
And there is the matter of
parents' social success in
planning the wedding—BIG!
Of course, it needs to be
said that what is portrayed
as burlesque at some Jewish
weddings is not necessarily
the rule. Says Marcia Selig-
son: "Jews are no different
than any other minority cul-
ture, in that the gigantic
wedding is symbolic of hav-
ing succeeded in the com-
munity, being the winner,
shifting the scales from a
long tradition of deprivation
to comfortable solvency . . .
The wedding is one of the
few occasions in life at which
Jews feel justified in getting
drunk, so it is unrestrainedly,
relentlessly gay . . . A band-
leader in New York says:
'At a Jewish wedding, if you
play soft and pretty back-
ground music, the bride's
MR. and MRS. MORRIS DORN
father storms up and
screams: "What's the matter,
and FAMILY
didn't your men show
up'?"
These verdicts of author
Marcia won't be accepted
without challenge by many
modern parents and their
sophisticated youth. Yet,
Marcia gives details, lists
some names, recounts ex-
And here is some-
wishes to extend heartfelt greetings: periences.
thing in her book that really
to its members and the entire community: :. invites frenzy:
"The New Wedding still
for a happy, healthy and peaceful New::: needs a recognized official
in attendance, and the new
Year.
clergyman who joins these
•.•
brides and grooms is likely
Morning and Evening Services
to be as offbeat as the rituals
are held Daily at Our New Location
he encourages — or some-
... : times insists upon. He dis-
penses with the ecclesiasti-
cal rhetoric on which he was
weaned and talks from the
pulpit as if he were talking
on the phone. The Rev. Cecil
Williams in San Francisco
Best Wishes For A Year
of Peace, Health and Happiness
To All Our Relatives, Friends
and the Entire Jewish Community
CONG. BETH TEF11.01::.::
EMANUEL TIKVAH
wears a dashiki to weddings;
Rabbi Bruce Goldman of
New York wears a blue jeans
suit. (Goldman has said that
weddings held in synagogues
turn him off). The Rev. Al
Carmines in Manhattan has
been quoted as saying that
the wedding of a pregnant
girl is 'joyous,' and the Rev.
B. D. Napier of Stanford
University becomes 'increas-
ingly uneasy with a wedding
ceremony that doesn't speak
to us now.'
"Perhaps the most crazy-
quilted of styles belongs to
Rabbi Will Kramer, who
could bt Zero Mostel's beard-
ed double and who officiates
at many of the new Jewish
nuptials in Los Angeles. At
such ceremonies he wears
long robes and a prayer
shawl, and his voice is awe
some, booming, talmudic.
But what comes out of his
mouth is jarringly peppered
with hip lingo, like 'I feel
good vibes for you, Johnny,'
which he then translates into
Yiddish for the older audi-
ence, coming on like a Cat-
skills comic.
"Sitting in his home,
flanked by a vast collection
of biblical artifacts, he told
me that he believes mar-
riages should be arranged as
in the old days and that he
will not perform a marriage
between Jew and Gentile un-
less the children will be
raised as Jews. But, as I am
leaving, his parting words
are completely bereft of such
traditional sentiment: 'Wed-
dings are a high. Anything I
can do to help people kick
loneliness for friendship
turns me on.'
"But most clergymen I
talked to still prefer the old
wedding, agreeing that the
traditional wedding is good
and appropriate, that it is a
fortress against the break--;
down of family life. To cre- I
ate one's own vows, they
say, is to castrate the
church. The liturgy as it
stands ensures dignity and
thus solemnity, and any de-
partures save those few in-
stituted by the church itself
are blasphemous.
"Thus the clergy and the
brides and grooms fit simi-
lar patterns. There are some
of both groups who want the
New Wedding - and cannot
abide the old. But there re-
mains a majority that insists
on the old."
Is the Jewish reader em-
barrassed? Does it irritate
rabbi, florist, caterer, party-
planner — bride and bride-
groom and parents? It
wouldn't be normal if what
she describes and exposes
would be accepted without
challenge. Yet, there were
and there are weddings like
those in her connubially
blintzed description.
It is the American wed-
ding generally — among
many elements whose folk-
ways often irritate, whose
traditions for hilarity, some
lasting for days, some for
an entire week, still claim
the right continuity.
That sort of extreme eter-
nality for the bliss machine
may be curtailed, some in-
terrupted, by young readers
of the–Marcia Seligson story.
As a study and expose of
amusing and extravagant
weddings she has certainly
written a splendid social re-
port. -P.S.
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
Friday, Sept. 28, 1973-37
*CONGREGATION
IrNAI ISRAEL
143 ONEIDA ROAD,
PONTIAC, MICHIGAN
Affiliate — United
Synagogues of America
*HIGH HOLY
DAY SEATS
SEPT. 26, 27, 28
OCT. 5, 6
*HEBREW SUNDAY SCHOOL
*MEMBERSHIPS AVAILABLE
MR. EDWARD AVADEWKA
Ticket Chairman
681 - 9237
Membership
626 - 2234
Rabbi L. Berman, M. Goldman, President
-------
Rabbi
leizer Levin
Morris Dorn
Presiden
24225 Greendield
Southfield
The Officers
and Directors
of
the
MOIES CHETIM
ORGANIZATION
OF DETROIT
wish to extend their best wishes for a
happy and prosperous New Year to all
Synagogues, Organizations and all of
the Detroit and Suburban Jewry for
helping to carry out the Mitzva of Moies
Chetim so no Jewish family or indi-
vidual in our midst shall be denied the
necessities for Pesach.
MORRIS DORN,
MORREY GOULD,
ABE KATZMAN,
ABE SATOVSKY,
MRS. SAMUEL LEVE,
MRS. JOSEPH M. MARKEL,
BEN WEISMAN,
President
Vice Pres.
Vice Pres. Trea.
Vice Pres.
Fin. Sec'y.
Secy.
Secy.
-
-
-
—
Role of the Jew:
Citizen of World
By CECIL ROTH
In "Great Ages and Ideas of
the Jewish People"
Not allowed to be a citizen
in any land, the Jew became
perforce a citizen of the
world, and as a citizen of
the world he performed an
irreplaceable service. For
one of his greatest and most
characteristic functions
throughout history has been
his part as an intermediary
— not only intellectual, but
economic, social, and politi-
cal as well. In addition to
his role as the Eternal
Protestant, he was also the
"International Jew"—a title
properly of pride not of ob-
loquy. He always had the ad-
vantage of standing astride
more than one civilization.
He had personal connections
and interests not hemmed in
by political borders. He had
a realization of lands and
cultures lying far distant
from those of his own en-
vironment. He had access to
foreign languages. His kins-
folk were scattered in many
lands, so that in every coun-
try there was some coreli-
gionist who could act as his
correspondent or his agent.
or give him hospitality, or
extend him credit. Hebrew
could carry him, at a pinch,
from one end of the world tr
another, and lay open to him
the intellectual treasures of
every age and every land.
THE
HEBREW BENEVOLENT SOCIETY
(Chesed Shel Emes)
Invites
GREATER DETROIT JEWRY
to participate in a
MEMORIAL SERVICE
for the Six Million Jews who perished in Europe
at the Hands of the Nazis .. .
Which will be held on
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 30th, 1:00 P.M.
at the
HEBREW MEMORIAL PARK
(Chesed Shel Emes Cemetery) Gratiot and 14 Mile Road
RABBI MILTON ARM
CANTOR SHABTAI ACKERMAN
of Cong. Beth Achim
of Cong. Beth Abraham-Hillel
Will participate in these Services
Edward Miller, President ; Hyman Lipsitz, Joseph M. Korman, Vice-Presidents;
Sam Levine, Cemetery Chairman ; Rabbi Israel I. Rockove, Executive Director ;
Nathan Wolok, Assistant Director ; Rabbi Henry L. Goldschlag, Cemetery Admin-
istrator ; Harry E. Citrin, Honorary President.
ARRANGEMENTS COMMITTEE
NATHAN SAMET, CHARIMAN
Jacob Bacow, Meyer I. Cooper, Morris Dorn, Leo B. Furst, Harry Laker,
Harry Portner, Samuel S. Portner, Nathan P. Rossen and Leo Stein.
.