THE JEWISH CHRONICLE
The only Jewish publication in the State of Michigan
Devoted to the interests of the Jewish people
DETROIT, MICH., JUNE 9, 1916
Vol. I. No. 15
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Once, twice and three times, and
thanks to that theory, the blonde
girl, whose name was Belle, fell
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Science Triumphs !
Translated from the Yiddish of ABRAHAM RAISIN
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Besides being a brunette,• Harry
Wiener was "scientifically • ' inclined.
That was the way he expressed him-
self to his acquaintances and com-
panions. Especially would he prate
of his "scientific's" to his girl
friends. Even when the other boys
called 011 their girls each week
dressed in a new tic or a new style
collar, Wiener would wear the self-
-;tine tie and the same kind of a col-
lar—but then, he always brought
some new theory along with him.
When Wiener began explaining
his new theories he was really in-
teresting and congenial, even though
he did not wear new collars and
new ties. For instance, he pro-
pounded the very latest theory of
love.
"And what is love when analyzed
scientifically ?" he asked a group of
boys and girls.
"Scientifically put. it is merely the
call for the perpetuation of the
race." his answer followed
query.
"Why do we always want a pretty
and clever girl asked one of the
boys.
Harry Wiener could not answer
that question. But he soon discov-
ered another theory, and the next
time he had an answer ready.
"We want good-looking and clev-
er girls because nature demands that
future generations shall he better
and sturdier."
But more than anything else,
Wiener believed in the theory that
every man chose a mate who ,Nvas
exactly his opposite. For instance,
if he is brunette he would fall in
love with a blonde.
The blonde girl who listened to
the exposition of that theory, blush-
ingly answered :
"That is really true. I am always
attracted to brunettes."
"No wonder !" exclaimed Harry
heroically, casting his dark eyes at
her blonde hair. "That is, scien-
tifically speaking, they complement
each other. That means, he supple-
ments her, and she supplements
him."
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madly in love with the brunette.
harry Wiener.
harry Wiener was not a bit ex-
cited over the affair. Scientifically
it was perfectly natural that a
blonde young woman should be at-
tracted to a brunette young man.
For the same reason Harry never
betrayed the slightest sign of jeal-
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When Wiener's admirers. and he
had many, would remark that Belle
•\*:t; becoming very friendly with
Berman. Harry would smile and
say :
"With that blonde, Berman?"
"Yes, with that blonde." WaS the
answer,
"Then your fears arc ground-
The First Jewish Supreme Court Justice
inclined. and he took great pains to
keep Belle from meeting brunette
young men. .\s long as her inl-
mirer was a blonde young man,
Harry was not troubled, not any
more than if he were a girl.
Thus it went along for a •hiile
year. ( ince a friend of his called
him aside, and whispered :
"I want to tell you, your Belle is
in love with that fellow Berman."
"You're foolish." Wiener smiled
indulgently. "Ile can have no more
attraction for her than a woman
could have. Youre not 'scientific
enough to understand. A blonde
girl like Belle can Only love a man
like me, a brunette."
The time came \•iten Wiener be-
gan to realize that Belle was not so
indifferent to Berman as he thought.
They were together entirely too
often. While to him, Wiener the
brunette, she seemed indifferent.
And when they met, she could speak
of nothing other than his friend
Berman.
The fact that Belle's love was not
for him did not trouble him so much
as the fact that the theory of oppo-
sites was weakening. One day he
picked up courage and went to
Belle's house.
"Is it possible that you. a blonde,
should be attracted to another of
your kind, a blonde'?"
"You only imagine—" Belle be-
gan with a smile.
"What do I imagine'?" he inter-
rupted joyfully.
• n•
LOUIS D. BRANDEIS
ousy when his Belle, the blonde,
smiled to his blonde friend, Berman.
Berman was really a handsome
young man, but as he was blonde
and Belle was blonde, nothing deep-
er than friendship could possibly ex-
ist between them. It could be noth-
ing more than the friendship that
exists between man and man, or
woman and woman. Two blonds
would be just like two of the same
sex, even though one was man and
the other woman.
less," and Wiener would knowing-
ly smile. "I have told you once be-
fore that scientifically they can have
no attraction for each other because
he is blonde and she is blonde!"
Wiener knew, through scientific
theories, that folks must have
amusement occasionally. So he
would take Belle to dances. At
these balls they met other young
folks.
Scientifically speaking, Wiener
knew that woman is polygamously
"You only imagine that—that-
that I--"
"That what ?"
"That I am a blonde." Belle
smiled naively.
"What else are you? You're cer-
tainly not brunette. Your hair is
perfectly blonde—"
"Yes, of course, it is blonde. I
love blonde hair—I was always at-
tracted to blonds—so I—I—I
bleached my hair."
"So! You are a brunette !" Wie-
ner fairly jumped with joy.
At last Wiener understood why
Belle was attracted to Berman! The
scientific theory had triumphed!