THE JEWISH CHRONICLE The only Jewish publication in the State of Michigan Devoted to the interests of the Jewish people DETROIT, MICH., JUNE 9, 1916 Vol. I. No. 15 . . ,.. .:. . .. „... . . .:. . -. ... : .:. .... .... .... e ...":". Once, twice and three times, and thanks to that theory, the blonde girl, whose name was Belle, fell . . : . . . yyy.:-:•:— -:":":":":":”:":":-:••:•.:• Science Triumphs ! Translated from the Yiddish of ABRAHAM RAISIN .......:.........:.....:..:... ...:... e .. ...:... . ”:"...:.*:... ....e .:**:.: : .:......:...e'. :: •••• • ••• • ••• • ••• • ••:..........:......:”:..:......: .....:..:... e ..:...:”:... e ..:.....:... e .:... Besides being a brunette,• Harry Wiener was "scientifically • ' inclined. That was the way he expressed him- self to his acquaintances and com- panions. Especially would he prate of his "scientific's" to his girl friends. Even when the other boys called 011 their girls each week dressed in a new tic or a new style collar, Wiener would wear the self- -;tine tie and the same kind of a col- lar—but then, he always brought some new theory along with him. When Wiener began explaining his new theories he was really in- teresting and congenial, even though he did not wear new collars and new ties. For instance, he pro- pounded the very latest theory of love. "And what is love when analyzed scientifically ?" he asked a group of boys and girls. "Scientifically put. it is merely the call for the perpetuation of the race." his answer followed query. "Why do we always want a pretty and clever girl asked one of the boys. Harry Wiener could not answer that question. But he soon discov- ered another theory, and the next time he had an answer ready. "We want good-looking and clev- er girls because nature demands that future generations shall he better and sturdier." But more than anything else, Wiener believed in the theory that every man chose a mate who ,Nvas exactly his opposite. For instance, if he is brunette he would fall in love with a blonde. The blonde girl who listened to the exposition of that theory, blush- ingly answered : "That is really true. I am always attracted to brunettes." "No wonder !" exclaimed Harry heroically, casting his dark eyes at her blonde hair. "That is, scien- tifically speaking, they complement each other. That means, he supple- ments her, and she supplements him." Single Copies .5 Cents : :— .?•:-:-:-:-:—:-:—:-:•:-:-:•:+4": - X—:-:-:—:-:-:-:—:—X-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:. ... $1.50 per Year madly in love with the brunette. harry Wiener. harry Wiener was not a bit ex- cited over the affair. Scientifically it was perfectly natural that a blonde young woman should be at- tracted to a brunette young man. For the same reason Harry never betrayed the slightest sign of jeal- •:. :f. . . . . i. .. : ** * *** * **:":..:... e .. ...:••• • ••• • ••• • •.........: ':”:”:”:":”.e....:..:..................:...e.:”.........":".e....:....... 0****.:..:**:":":. When Wiener's admirers. and he had many, would remark that Belle •\*:t; becoming very friendly with Berman. Harry would smile and say : "With that blonde, Berman?" "Yes, with that blonde." WaS the answer, "Then your fears arc ground- The First Jewish Supreme Court Justice inclined. and he took great pains to keep Belle from meeting brunette young men. .\s long as her inl- mirer was a blonde young man, Harry was not troubled, not any more than if he were a girl. Thus it went along for a •hiile year. ( ince a friend of his called him aside, and whispered : "I want to tell you, your Belle is in love with that fellow Berman." "You're foolish." Wiener smiled indulgently. "Ile can have no more attraction for her than a woman could have. Youre not 'scientific enough to understand. A blonde girl like Belle can Only love a man like me, a brunette." The time came \•iten Wiener be- gan to realize that Belle was not so indifferent to Berman as he thought. They were together entirely too often. While to him, Wiener the brunette, she seemed indifferent. And when they met, she could speak of nothing other than his friend Berman. The fact that Belle's love was not for him did not trouble him so much as the fact that the theory of oppo- sites was weakening. One day he picked up courage and went to Belle's house. "Is it possible that you. a blonde, should be attracted to another of your kind, a blonde'?" "You only imagine—" Belle be- gan with a smile. "What do I imagine'?" he inter- rupted joyfully. • n• LOUIS D. BRANDEIS ousy when his Belle, the blonde, smiled to his blonde friend, Berman. Berman was really a handsome young man, but as he was blonde and Belle was blonde, nothing deep- er than friendship could possibly ex- ist between them. It could be noth- ing more than the friendship that exists between man and man, or woman and woman. Two blonds would be just like two of the same sex, even though one was man and the other woman. less," and Wiener would knowing- ly smile. "I have told you once be- fore that scientifically they can have no attraction for each other because he is blonde and she is blonde!" Wiener knew, through scientific theories, that folks must have amusement occasionally. So he would take Belle to dances. At these balls they met other young folks. Scientifically speaking, Wiener knew that woman is polygamously "You only imagine that—that- that I--" "That what ?" "That I am a blonde." Belle smiled naively. "What else are you? You're cer- tainly not brunette. Your hair is perfectly blonde—" "Yes, of course, it is blonde. I love blonde hair—I was always at- tracted to blonds—so I—I—I bleached my hair." "So! You are a brunette !" Wie- ner fairly jumped with joy. At last Wiener understood why Belle was attracted to Berman! The scientific theory had triumphed!