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The Michigan Daily | michigandaily.com | Thursday, February 11, 2016
the b-side

POLYAMOROUS

ASEXUAL

BIROMANTIC

DEMISEXUAL

POLYAMOROUS

DEMISEXUAL

ASEXUAL

BIROMANTIC

XO
XO

Love Beyond
the Binary
Love Beyond
the Binary

“What is love?”
It’s more than just the ubiquitous hook of

the 1993 dance-pop jam by Haddaway. To
many, love has a plethora of definitions. It
can represent a deep affection for another
person, an intense liking toward a piece of
art or, to put it more broadly, a strong bond
between two or more people. However, in
our society, love is often associated with
sexuality, and the romantic aspect of love
is frequently complemented with the sex-
ual aspect of love. This upcoming Sunday
is Valentine’s Day, which is known as the
national day of celebration of our culture’s
version of “love.” For decades, V-Day has
commercialized “love” in advertisements,
Hallmark greeting cards, presents and even
film. People are motivated to spend money
on loved ones, whether it’s on a thoughtful
box of chocolates or on sexy gifts to spice
up one’s sex life. And while the holiday can
be rather heteronormative in nature, it is

gradually becoming more inclusive toward
non-heterosexual couples. Nevertheless, it
seems to underrepresent a largely unrecog-
nized group of people: those who don’t iden-
tify with the sexual or romantic binary.

Let’s talk about sex (and romance), baby
When it comes to love, sexual attraction

and romantic attraction are often paired
together, yet they have completely different
implications. For people with non-binary
sexual and romantic orientations, the con-
cept of “love” doesn’t necessarily mean
that sex and romance always go hand-in-
hand. University of Michigan freshman
Allie Hodge, who identifies as asexual and
biromantic, believes that love simply means
being intimate with someone, but “in the
way where you feel really comfortable with
talking to them, where you can share your-
self fully and not worry about judgment.”

It may seem unusual that asexuality,

which defines a person who feels no sexual

attraction, can coexist with biromanticism,
which involves romantic attraction toward
persons of two or more genders. But Hodge
makes a clear point that romance and sexu-
ality don’t need to be mutually exclusive.

“I don’t feel the desire to have sex,”

Hodge said. “It’s not something that I find
appealing, but I can understand people who
do find it appealing. At the same time, I do
feel really strong romantic attraction to peo-
ple, as well as platonic.”

Before Hodge discovered her asexuality

in 10th grade, she identified as demisexu-
al, a sexual orientation in which someone
feels sexual attraction only to people with
whom they have an emotional bond, which
seemed more socially acceptable at the time.
But once she came out as asexual, Hodge
received a range of positive, neutral and
negative responses.

“When I do tell people (about my asexu-

ality), I usually get questions like, ‘Have you

gotten your hormones checked?’ ” Hodge
said. “It’s also a common thing where peo-
ple say, ‘Oh, you just haven’t had experience
yet.’ ”

Regardless, Hodge believes she felt

accepted and comfortable once she came
to the University. In addition to receiving
encouragement from her mother and sister,
Hodge has found support at the University
and in the “ace” community — “ace” is the
abbreviated slang for asexual — particu-
larly in the Asexual Visibility and Educa-
tion Network (AVEN), an online resource
that strives to create open, honest discus-
sions about asexuality among sexual and
asexual people alike. She has also partici-
pated in Aromantic and Asexual Aware-
ness Day, which allows people who identify
as aromantic and/or asexual to share their
personal experiences with their romantic/
sexual orientations.

By Daily Arts Writer
Sam Rosenberg

LUV
LUV

Design by Jacklyn Thomas & Scotty Hardin

See LOVE, Page 2B