Saturday. March 10. 1945
T HE M ICH IG AN D A1ILY
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M's Sterling BARINABY By Crockett Johnson
Where DID Barnaby Yes . ..We've appraised your Mr. Dorman! " e a cautious man,. o s e
h-o Ineln n nl'-t-a Glad to be of service, Mr. O'Malley,
o h iice.s He tin that plant and analyzities of or pro t But is a hundred million ENOUGH?
potenialitesnatyour rduct.
You'll probably make millions. Dorm &
Artists Gi rd . .. But Mr. Dormant isn't quite Dormant /It's just to tide me
impressed enough to endorse Company over, Mr. Dormant-,
Trapezoids To Face Tibet Dloan. Imsorryerae
Normal Here Next Week, '.irmEen.
Chanel Number 5 To Star That's Mr. Boggs
on the phone. A
Coach Sylvan Bernadette's junior partner-
Dare-devils of the High Wire, that 3
unpublicized but valiant Quintet -- -
of Maize and Blue athletes who
astounded the sporting world by Ma jestic Theatre To Brin New
their unparalleled triumph over a
much highser rated University of 7ok B, eq eSh w T o p r er
marts-TYork~ Burlesque Show Troop Here
Hiedelberg last month are again
preparing to put their interna- .____
tional championship on the stump Filling a long felt campus need
when they contest Tibet Normal a road company of a New York spiked by Walpole who has prom-
next week. burlesque house will open in Ann ised to make the show a function
guaranteed to live long in the
The Michigan High Wires, in Arbor March 16 and play here 14 hearts of Joe College and Betty
the vernacular called the Trape- consecutive weeks in the newly Coed. Candy concessions will be
zoids, are a most well-balanced renovated Majestic Theatres. established in the spacious lounge,
(by necessity) squad, boasting Workmen were busy yesterday he assured. but what will be in-
five district champ ,and two up extending a runway from the stage cluded with each and every pur-
and coming freshmen. of the old theatre into the audi- chased can better be imagined
The champs are Callypso I, Cal- torium. The runway will be light- than described.
lypso II, Callypso III, Callypso ed by fluorescent glow lamps and Walpole guaranteed a V-Ball
IV, and Chanel Number 5, as infra-red rays guaranteed to pen- Extra representative that there
rugged an aggregation as can be etrate any fog or heavy clothing., would be fifty (50) beautiful girls
imagined. The captain, Chanel Groovey Routines in the cast. "It will be a continu-
Number 5, called by his friends, The chorine will be under the ous show," he said.
"Stinky,"is a most versatile per- direction of Hy Walpole, noted Bring the Family
former. In his specialty, the "five Ann Arbor theatrical entrepren- In line with the all-campus na-
somersault roll, without a net eur, who has promised new and ture of the performance, Walpole
and- without any trapezezes, ropes, amazing routines for the sou- urged Michigan men to bring their
or supports of any kind" Stinky brettes. wives, mothers and sweethearts.
performs from a height of three Chick Williams will be featured "They'll scream," he promised.
hundred and eighty-nine feet. artist for the initial performance Walpole guaranteed that the
Stinky has done his specialty sev- playing the snare drum. Williams humor will all be clean and above
en times, and in that period has has promised to present his own board and no reference will be
been killed seven times. (It would interpretation of "Back Bay Boo- made to the University's Arbore-
be well to note at this point that gie" for drums. tum, home of Michigan botanical
Stinky is a cat.) Campus reaction to news of the and anatomical studies.
One of the freshman members new theatrical enterprise was im-
of the squad, Giuseppe Roman- mediate and gratifying. said Wal-
elli, a former Facisti Black Shirt, pole. "This is an all-Campus show k C Oach
got the major part of his high- for all the campus," lie said.
flying training in listening to Il No Ident Cards
Duce's speeches in the crowd- Rumors that ident cards would D iscloses A ll
ed Fastamazoo Square in Rome. be required for admittance were
At the end of every one of .T Vic Heyliger, Michigan's hockey
Benito's sentences, the huge of training these valiant Wolver- coach, commenting on the hockey
crowd Mould burst forth with a ines, is 'wind training'. He be- season in general so far had little
resounding "Duce," at the same lieves strongly that the main thing to say. He emphasized one point,
time throing their right arms that a trapeze artist must possess however. "If," said he, "Michigan
highha theair in the Fascist is the ability to breathe. He stres- had a wealth of good hockey ma--
salute. ses that point with many convinc- terial with a widespread farm
ing illustrations such as tying an system, and a bountiful pocket-
Romanelli being a very light airtight sack around a man's head book, then I could state unfalter-
man (he still only wighs eleven and then letting him swing around ingly, and with little fear of con-
and a half pounds) was usually. on a trapeze. Sure enough, in no tradiction, that Michigan would
thrown high in the air in tribute time at all, that man fell off the have a very fine and almost un-
to the Italian Caesar. Before he trapeze-dead. defeatable hockey sextet."
learned to control himself in the Bernadette declares that he first "However," Vic continued, "such
swift ascent and even swifter des- got interested in "wind training" is not the case, and I am unable
cent, Guiseppe suffered innumer- when he first discovered that he to make the above assertions."
able broken ribs and fractured did not have to breathe. It seems This lucid and far - reaching
limbs, but practice makes perfect, (quite unnaturally to be sure) statement gave little but the most
and our hero soon learned to do that Bernadette was never endow- cheering connotation to your re-
stunts in the flight. Thus an ath- ed by Nature with a set of lungs, porter, as he remembered that
lete was barn. Instead of these useful organs, he "they that go down in the ships at'
Coach Bernadette's main form ! h a very pretty pair of gills. sea, go down at sea in the ships."
0P' FO
Rass ers Stage Colossal Body
Building Show on IM Floor
Last night. the Intramural Buil-
ding was the scene of the most things. They were by far, the
spectacticar sports event to take more aggressive and valiant squad.
specacua' por. eentto akeEnjoyed the 'Bite
place since the fights of the gladi-
ators and the chariot races in the Their aggressiveness was quite
atos andthe criot r m, a s evident, especially in one particu-
Colosseum of ancient Rome, as lr maneuver designed no doub
more than fifteen hundred indi- to break their opponents' necks.
vidual wrestling matches took They would slide their left arms
around the backs of their rivals~
place at one time on the huge aon h ak fte ils
necks, squeezing their waists with
I-M floor. their right arms, and stealthily
From my vantage point on one moving their faces upwards in an
of the huge rafters overlooking endeavor to "bite" their'" oppon-
the floor, these eyes of mine were ents.
treated to one of the most colorful Their opponents, the formally-
sights of a lifet'me. The conies- dressed ones, were quite lacking
stgts hl a lin. formal dress in courage. More than a score of
tants, half garbed in formal dress times in the course of the evening
suits and the rest, in frilly and I observed the men allowing the
slinky things, grappled for a full women to "bite" them, and I would
four hours to what seemed to be have sworn that they actually en.
a draw joyed it.
lany Foals Committed 'Didn't Want That Leg Anyway'
The rules were slightly altered Another example of the wo
from the standard wrestling pre- men's courage is typified by their
cepts, but from the rafter, it also "sticktoitiveness" whenever, which
seemed that more fouls were com- was pretty often, they were brn-
mitted than in a regular match. tally kicked by the men. Time
The contest last night, was di- after time, I saw women, who had
vided into numerous periods, each been cruelly kicked in the shins
lasting about three minutes. Be- unflinchingly pursue their quar:-
cause of the number of grapplers, ries, with a forced smile on their
instead of the usual horn or bell lips, bravely standing up under
to signify the end of a period, a the excrutiating pain.
full-scale orchestra was employed Whatever the result, however,
at each end of theoor to signal the wrestling matches were cer-
starts and nishes. tainly far from a success. Al-
As stated above somewhere, no though over three thousand ath
one was declared the victor, due letes of all sexes participated, a1
perhaps to the evenly-matched looking over the scene. I was sta-
appearance of the two teams. tied to realize that I was the only
However. were my opinion com- spectator of the mammoth event.
plied ;ith, the victors would un- Such lack of school interest and
doubtedly have been the team spirit is unpardonable, and sme-
wearing he frilly and slinky thing must be done about this.''
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