PoQe Twenty-Two
THE MICH IGAN DAI
ILY
Saturday, March 10, 1945
. - I - - , -- y I I I - -1 . - .-
Tmpire Shortage Blacks Out 1945 Baseball
MacArthur To Exchequers Michigan Teams Stack Up as
Manage New { At Last on Menaces To All Ann Arbor
ork Yankees C d jt S de Michigan's athletic teams of the a
1 195 sping easdoctors and nurses in the mre
OCCCTMLB's Latest Edict spring season shape up as the subtle art of first aid-.
Sath°, Michigan Mentors Jump in number one teams not only in Vitory Promised
r uConference King Row in Ann Arbor, but as tar east as In the less strenuous, but none-
Knell on Baseball Aspirants Blistering Battle of Bruises Ypsilanti. theless more exacting sport of
Said Chris Frisler,- Michigan's chess. little can be reported at this
WASHINGTON-The o ffice for It hs finally hsppened; the head of athletics, yesterday in an time. Since President Roosevelt
the Coordination of Conventions,Ithsfnly aped;he+I . exclusive interview with your re-? first inauguration twelve years
Congresses, Tournaments, and great and illustrious Wolverine exr ter i a, wthyr re- i ago, Ariel Flinn, one-time leader
Ma'or League aseball, a sobsid- checker quintet las appered in porter, snd sundry others "repe- ,AilPin n-ielae
Majr League Baseball, a subsid- theckircoun. senting DNB, Tokyo News Service, of the 'Put a Roof Over the Arbor-
asy nthOfi PuicE-h i t fmn a ,o.in and Colonel MKormick's latest etum' Society, has been locked in
lightenment, a subsidiary of the last ni before a a "eriodical "The New Deal ormortal struggle with Frederick
Office of Fact and Fancy stated crowd of thirteen spectators the "eixde ' ew eal." T ' G Faff of Ohio State, for theig
today that Major League baseball checkers went ahead and soundly Sixteen Different Ways To Geti T ofOho e fors. ig
'would be discontinued for the 'or- ; .' < !troonced the Rieda of Ohio Sate That Man Out of the White TnCneec oo ln
aton owintnedr the rta-e of'nd the remindsceof tir-: House," "When in doubt, PUNT!" confidently prophesies victory in
anion awing to the shortage of {by the overwhelming score o hr eighteen years. Fnaff. who hasn't
umpires. ty-six to fourtee and seven- ' When in Doubt, PANT' eted yers. 'a . wo has,
This order contradicts and coon- ighths. hee sinfi a words, bearing says nothing.
termandsaa directive arecently i-' Oustanding aim offeas for the a slgt reemblance to Kute sayslsin g
sued by the Coordinator of Co- GEN. MACARTHUR Wolverines was captain George Le Rockne's famous statement of fif- Guzzling-Favorite Indoor Sport
ordinating Government Bureaus . , . might manage Yanks (N.Y. George, who scored the first king teen year's ago when caught with Scanning the other major in-
which said that baseball would be crown of the after-evening by a his punts down in an all night door sport which can be printed
'continued at all costs and that 1. Baseball will be continued. tremendous quadruple jump lead- poker session, and also likened to in a paper of this reputation, guz-
Gen. Douglas MacArthur might 2. Baseball won't be continued. ing to a counter-escape in the the amorous love call of the Mich- zling-male and female-your re-
be recalled to manage the New . neutral sixteen space. Le George igan coed in the year 1901, 'When porter can truly say that he has
York Yankees owing to his per- CEPila heers. found opponent to be very weak in doubt 'PANT,' were taken on all never seen anything like it. Guz-
sonal similarity to Larry MacPhail. NEW YORK CJITY- Larry on the offense as the Buckeye was sides by the members of the zling mentor Al Loide, reports that
MacPhail, new owner and gen- only able to capture four men and Fourth Estate, to mean that the his P-Beaus and P-Belles are in
Baseball Will Continue eral manager of the New York a king. Wolverine spring athletic squads, the greatest possible condition,
Yankees, said today that Joseph Check This would challenge the finest sport and are expected to rise real high
statemHn from thee Office for Stalin's recent statement was a In another match of the after- aggregations in history, for first -hic thic his, not mine).
saeetrm hOfcefr clear "go-ahead'" to baseball in naon, Oscar Phrst laid down a hsonors. High scorer, sa far in the intra-
abe Caordniation of Convn- 195. withering barrage of kings and Ruthven Is Coach squad Guzzling League, is I. Belch.
tions, Congresses, Tournaments,'"The Yankees will be at the checkers to score a hard-fought The early season reports on the Belch, who beat out I. Burp by a
and Major League Baseball was St. Louis Cardinals in the victory over Herman Q. Himple- Maize and Blue, do much to up- head in one of the most exciting
World's Series come next fall," baum. Phrst had a hard time of it hold this optimistic prophecy. contests of its type last Saturday,
be given the green light provid- MacPhail averred in giving em- as his worthy adversary absolutely Coach Alec Ruthven's Water Jai attributes his phenpmenal success
ed phasis to his statement. refused to let go of one of his men Lai Septet is reported to be in the to his strong constitution, his well-
1. No player over 14 or under in the second chuukkeerr. Oscar, best possible shape and are ex- developed sense of timing, his im-
65 is permitted to sign a con- Barrow jeers . . . however, quickly remedied this pected to rise to great heights in plicit faith in God, and his hollow
tract. This stipulation is ex c- NEW YORK CITY- President situation by throwing a knife at the forthcoming season. leg.
ted to wreak havoon Dodgers Ed Barrow of the New York Yank- him causing him to faint at the The High Liars, captained by
2. No fans ars allowed to see ee- stated today, "Stalin's state- sight of Iis own blood. J. P. John the Flint Flash, are There will be a meeting of
the games. ,ment.,just about washes up base- In the third match of the after- well-balanced, due perhaps to the the Stinx Club Thursday night
. Every player works at least ball for the duration. We're all noon, the triplicate as it is called, sensational work of the newly- at 7:30 in the lounge of Stock-
24 hours a day in a war plant. through." the Buckteeth of OI Gevaldt Uni- discovered goalie, Jiar O'Scope, well Hall, President Hank Man-
rsidentBversity showed that all is gold that and Coach Ruthven has been in- to announced today. All mem-
Rosvlt, en t creidn ig Three ay Confer glitters. They repeatedly quashed structing them for the past two bers are please requested to
cent government orders regarding WASHINGTON-It is rumored threats made by the Mess and months, in the more subtle art of take baths or a reasonable we-
cen tgovere of baseball, said today, in usually well-informed capitol Blooey, and finally succeeded in underwater combat-The Univer- curate facsimile, before attend-
the's all up to Joe Stalin, but the circles this evening that Roose- making one of our gladiators drop sity Hospital, for the past two ing the meeting.
Iaited States will no longer main- velt, Churchill, and Stalin will call out from sheer exhaustion. The months, has been instructing its
faiits traditional d ff po- a special Big Three conference match ended four and one-half -- --
icy in the settlement of such vital late this month to decide the fu- hours later when the captain of
international matters." ture of American baseball. the Buckteeth got so disgusted
Stressing the international im- that he took the board and bashed t.L
interview at Kremlin o pokeman of the problem, one cap- it. over the head of Jerry Martino- 01
itol spokesman stated that it was vich. Martinovich is now recover-
WASHINGTON-It was just nis opinion-that "no peace settle- ing from minor lacerations and
announced that a, special dele- meat can be made until this all- scars in the University Torture
gation of American sports writ- important question has been set- Chamber, known commonly on
ers, disguised as Elliot Roose- ted." campus as the Health Service.
vet's dogs, have received see- eOthers advocated a special pro- Check That
cial priority to travel to Moscow vision in a revised Atlantic Char- The match was called a display
to clarify President Roosevelt's ter guaranteeing the future of of violent temper and poorly play-
recent clarification of the future American baseball. ed sitiations by Fritz Crisler, ref-
of American baseball . Meanwhile, officials of the eee in charge of cleaning the
Brooklyn Dodgers announced iwaistpaper baskets, but the Wol-
Stahn Expounds . . . the signing of "Baby Face" vrinea, nonetheless, went into a
MOSCOW-Questioned by Am- Brown, sensational three-year commanding one win, no losses, wardrobe. For practi-
erican reporters as to the fate of old first baseman, who report- three tSbs. and eleven forfeits total
the future of American baseball, edly hit .576 in the Nursery for Conference competition. cal alaround wear, a
Joe Stalin said today, "Da." School League last year His The next match is an over the
This answer may be interpreted mother will accompany him on board affair with Oshkosh State tailored topcoat in pas-
n two ways: all road trips. Teachers College, and should pro-
----- ----- -v side a great test for the Mess and tel shades is ideal.
*@.@@,@ ..*@@@@@@@*@@*@@@@O@@@@ i P Blooey. The Oshkoshians have
*'won fourteen and one-half straight
matches this season.
* Wally Weber, freshman foot- You can't have too
jN' ball and wrestling coach, an- many suits and the finest
* b O L N one today, that all can-
didates for the Michigan Pin- of selections is ofered
* Iballro Squad should report to
Every Afternoon * the Penny Arcade, downtown this Spring is severl
to 0near the saloon. Hands and
46 ( ora amstb hekdb styles, including cardi-_
.30 f 6'30forearms must be the.cked by
* 1 0 Dr.B race at the Health Service an necklines and oth-
nd * before reporting for action.
. . --ers . . . In becoming
Friday, Saturday, Sunday Evenings pastel colors. Also, high
* (No Leagues) necklined blouses to flat
0 ~~~COMPLIMENTS tncs ut
COEDS WELCOME O terthe suit.
i OF
SMICHIGAN " Sch
m RECREATION I'AS '(heCa
525 East Liberty St.