Page Eighteen
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Saturday, February 6, 1943
PaeEihen.H ICIAJDIY audaFbr:y6,14
MICHIGAN DAILY
J-HOP STAFF
CO-EDITORS
yn AXE
By TORQUEMADA
Bud Brimmer, George sanad6
T HIS is the way you go to a Vic- that will be another story, unwrit-
CO-BUSNESS MANAGERS tory Ball. For the sake of ten herein also for the sake of
Frank Q'Brien, Dick Cole brevity I shall assume that you brevity and -other reasons.
Local can dance to a certain extent, and You have a girl, or you know
Carl BeblavviBettyisiCapente also that you are a sociable crea- a girl, or there was a girl up at
ture who likes to go to Victory the lake last summer, and dur-
Classifieds Balls. If you are not a sociable ing the course of a moonlit eve-
Jean Lovett, Jane Shute creature, you will be in the army ning, or after the fifteenth dry
like I am as you read this, and Martini at the Book Casino you
National Advertising mention tentatively, under your
Marge Welbei Marge Batt GhH . breath, that there will probably
Circulation ' Glorius age .e a Victory Ball at school this
Bob Cohen of the Victory Ball.. year, The girl says, "why I
should be delighted," and tells
Publications TONIGHT is the night, they tell you what train she will arrive
Charles Kerner, John Lincoln us! on. There is another beginning
Promotion But despite the change in names tothis story, which involves cer-
Marge Wolfson, Dottie Byce and the one-night aspect of the tan hot-shots who blithely buy
Women's Business Managers dance,'it's still the same old J-Hop a ticket before asking The Girl,
RoieFns Bsbsaagerson and it still has the same old glor- and hen do not receive the as-
Rosalie Franks, Barbara Peterson ious heritage. sent RSVP of The Girl, and you
Women's Advertising Managers We therefore reprint the fol- can see the complications arising
Martha Opsion, Molly Winokur lowing J-Hop editorial, found in out. of that, culminating when
Sybil Winsten a 1920 Gargoyle, in an attempt to Somebody's Kid Kousin arrives
Contributors prove: 1) that LIFE will not de- still in braces, and the hot-shot
Margaret Frank, Marge Borradaile vote its party section to pictures calculates during a brief mo-
Jim Wienner, Dick Collins of this dance, 2) that Carree-Me ment of awful truth just how
Mari Guinan, Doris Peterson Back ,from Old Virginy will not much scotch he might have
Evelyn Phillips, Jean Richards marry Droopingham, and 3) that purchased for the inordinately
old bowlers never die. high sum of four dollars plus
- expenses. He will probably buy
The Glorious Heritage shifting expanse of carnival- the scotch anyhow.
of tie Victory Ball gay gowns and favor hed- i You will then announce loudly
gear, spectrum-like in blond, ka as if to reassure your inner man,
HAVE a good time at the Victory leidoscopic in swift clash of color; that you are trotting a queen to
Ball, HiR!, Have a good, time music that melts into the dancer's
at the Victory Ball; Hic. Have a soul; eyes that pass with naughty or Whom? cs the case may be.
good time at the Victory Bal, Hic, challenge or flashing smile, eyes If there is a chance that any of
Hie! Have a good time at the Vic- grey, brown, blue-and all happy; the Fellows know the young lady,
tory Ball. Have a good time at the a thousand voices eagerly piping at this point it is best to remain
Victory Ball, Hid !Have a good inanities; the dress suit in all its silent, or else say simply, Youll
time at the Victory Ball. HIC! immaculate, black-and-white cor- see," for according to time-hon-
Have a good time at the Victory rectess, whether inherited from ored custom if you announce the
Hop! Hid! Have a good time at father with amendments, relieved name and measurements of the
the Victory Ball, hic, hic! Have- roi dummy service, or tailored filly and she be known, her iden-
a good time at the Victory Ball, to the frame. tity will be closely followed by
hid!Have a good time at the Vic- This cabbages and kings com- ao '"Who" aincred lou land
tory Ball. Have a goodtime at the posite is what we call the Hop. Do ter, acompanied by diverse re-
victory BALL! hIC have a GOOD not believe it comic. Too *any marks designed to sully her chaste
TIME at the J-hop, er-r-r-r Vic; things have hallowed it. rhgracter. If she be unknoWn, you
tory Ball, we mean hid Have a Years have silvered its giddy are ' v-fortunate, for itis then
good time at theiVctory, HIC, head .with the reverence and tra- po Abl to state solemnly, Su-
ball hiC! ditions of time. zanoe De Glutz, and add the all-
HAVE a good time at the Vic- Thousands of fair pilgrims have important words, "her father is
tory Ball, hid! Have a gpod consecrated it by making it their the Third National Bank." This
time at the Victory Ball, Hic, Hic, Mecca. is known as Creating a Stir.
hid! Have a good time at the Vic- It has been the subject of august Now it is important to note that
tory Ball, hid! Have a good time! influenza conclaves- a Victory Ball does not mean just
Hic! Victory Ball Hid! Have a It has made the reputation of a dance. Victory Ball means we
good time at the Victory Ball, several Michigan women, are all going to try to act like we
Hic. Have a time! Hid! Have a It has put its pretty, foolish are Harvard boys or Cornell or
Hid! Victory Ball! Hid! Hid! Hid! fingers in many thousand portly Dartmouth Winter Carnivalites, or
Hid! Hic! Hic! pockets, and left only vacuum, something else of the sort that
usually appears in the party sec-
tion of Life Magazine. So there
must be other plans made. There
T/ must be a fine dinner, at some
-* £L oo~k r-iiie t spot where none of us have ever
- been before, and there must be
drinking, not of mere beer, nor of
- near beer, though there are those
to'Sprin g who can be satisfied by such. No,
it must be cocktails, or at the
- very least highballs. If you are
fortunate enough to have a car,
or can afford a taxi and what is
more find one on that night of all
nights, you attend the festivities
mat' at some out-of-town drinking spot
t where you will be charged double
prices fvr half-drinks because you
are college students and they've all
got plenty of the long green, and
at said spot you will sit and pre-
tend to make a lot of noise and be
painfully gay, and watch others
Newly arrived Spring who seem really to be in the spirit
Sas of the thing, but who actually are
Sport Coats and Slacks. watching you wishing they could
Latest patterns and still be half as gay as you are. It is a
hundred-to-one shot that some-
100% Pure Wool. Visit body in your party will (1) drink
too much and have to be escorted
us soon for a complete to the Men's Ladies' (choose one)
selection.
PERSONALITY
Coats ... $16.50 PLUS
Slaks. $4.95 up Look your best during that all-
important Victory Ball week-end!
For the latest in tonsorial serv-
lees: scalp treatmentsfisacis,
adnwhair styles, visit ur
moenshp.
En~r O G-G RY. 5 Barbers - No Waiting
I O I (Y The Dascola Barbers.
Between State and Mich. Theatres
521 East Liberty Michigan Theatre Building
room, or (2) somebody will have a
flat tire when he gets out to the
car, or (3) there will be an acci-
dent on a hairpin curve, or (4)
persons unknown will have walked
out wearing the new formal over-
coat you argued your family into
buying just before the time needed,
and you will leave your name at
the roadhouse just in case the
person unknown merely made a
mistake, and six months later the
checkroom girl will call you up
and you will go out there and she
will show you a burlap sack picked
up outside and say is this it? and
you will say no-or perhaps yes if
you need a burlap sack. On the
other hand, if you do not have a.
car, and cannot (you will not, let
me assure you) find a taxi, you.
will go en masse to one of the
local coke and jukebox shops and
sit in a back booth and mix set-
ups with cheap whiskey you have
bought along the way, and things
will get very hilarious, with re-
sults one through three as listed
already (two and three to be taken
figuratively, not literally).
The whole thing should not
run you more than about twenty-
five bucks, if you are careful
and do not start lighting cigars
with ten-dollar bills in the spirit
of good clean boyish fun. And.
look what you get for it. For a
month afterward you will not
date, nor indeed see any more of
the fair sex than is absolutely
necessary. That should save
you a certain amount depending
upon how much you ordinarily
date. And what is more, if she
is any kind of a girl at all, you
will have been allowed breath-
lessly and earnestly, to kiss her
goodnight on Friday night, on
Saturday once just before dinner
when the rest of the mob has
gone in to the table already,
and perhaps if she loves you, at
the train when she leaves. May-
be she will take your fraternity
pin, if you are a good boy. If
she does not get around much,
she may send you her picture,
which you can put in your room
along with the other pictures,
and it is fairly likely she will
make certain overtures within
the year concerning the . next,
but you will know better than
that-oh ha ha ha, won't you
though. Eventually you will
marry the girl or some other
girl, or join the army and be
sent to Morocco, Siberia, Tim-
buctoo, and all this nonsense
will be over, and in retrospect it
will all look like a lot of fun.
Those of you who derive any
more pleasure of the Big Event
of the Social Season will be
either naughty or smooth and in
either case you could have as
much fun any other week-end
of the year. I hope you all have
just oodles and oodles of fun,
kids. Nay, I am sure you will.
Give Your Clothes Budget a Break!
Purchase those extra items for
your Wardrobe at PRE-SEASON PRICES
Suits - 30.00-45.00 Shirts - 1.95-2.50
Topcoats - 26.50-40.00 Smart Hats - 4.00-5.00
Headquarters for Cooper's Jockey Underwear
KUOHN'S CLOTHES SH OP
122 East Liberty - On the Corner next to P-Bell
"Durability is our
keynote
When you buy your
clothes this year, you
will more than ever
look for quality.
We invite you to in-
spect ou rew., spring
styles which -have just
arrived and try their
long-wearing qualities.
PABIDEAU~LHA RR iS
"Where the Good Clothes Come From"
119 SOUTH MAIN STREET, ANN ARBOR