Page Eighteen THE MICHIGAN DAILY Saturday, February 6, 1943 PaeEihen.H ICIAJDIY audaFbr:y6,14 MICHIGAN DAILY J-HOP STAFF CO-EDITORS yn AXE By TORQUEMADA Bud Brimmer, George sanad6 T HIS is the way you go to a Vic- that will be another story, unwrit- CO-BUSNESS MANAGERS tory Ball. For the sake of ten herein also for the sake of Frank Q'Brien, Dick Cole brevity I shall assume that you brevity and -other reasons. Local can dance to a certain extent, and You have a girl, or you know Carl BeblavviBettyisiCapente also that you are a sociable crea- a girl, or there was a girl up at ture who likes to go to Victory the lake last summer, and dur- Classifieds Balls. If you are not a sociable ing the course of a moonlit eve- Jean Lovett, Jane Shute creature, you will be in the army ning, or after the fifteenth dry like I am as you read this, and Martini at the Book Casino you National Advertising mention tentatively, under your Marge Welbei Marge Batt GhH . breath, that there will probably Circulation ' Glorius age .e a Victory Ball at school this Bob Cohen of the Victory Ball.. year, The girl says, "why I should be delighted," and tells Publications TONIGHT is the night, they tell you what train she will arrive Charles Kerner, John Lincoln us! on. There is another beginning Promotion But despite the change in names tothis story, which involves cer- Marge Wolfson, Dottie Byce and the one-night aspect of the tan hot-shots who blithely buy Women's Business Managers dance,'it's still the same old J-Hop a ticket before asking The Girl, RoieFns Bsbsaagerson and it still has the same old glor- and hen do not receive the as- Rosalie Franks, Barbara Peterson ious heritage. sent RSVP of The Girl, and you Women's Advertising Managers We therefore reprint the fol- can see the complications arising Martha Opsion, Molly Winokur lowing J-Hop editorial, found in out. of that, culminating when Sybil Winsten a 1920 Gargoyle, in an attempt to Somebody's Kid Kousin arrives Contributors prove: 1) that LIFE will not de- still in braces, and the hot-shot Margaret Frank, Marge Borradaile vote its party section to pictures calculates during a brief mo- Jim Wienner, Dick Collins of this dance, 2) that Carree-Me ment of awful truth just how Mari Guinan, Doris Peterson Back ,from Old Virginy will not much scotch he might have Evelyn Phillips, Jean Richards marry Droopingham, and 3) that purchased for the inordinately old bowlers never die. high sum of four dollars plus - expenses. He will probably buy The Glorious Heritage shifting expanse of carnival- the scotch anyhow. of tie Victory Ball gay gowns and favor hed- i You will then announce loudly gear, spectrum-like in blond, ka as if to reassure your inner man, HAVE a good time at the Victory leidoscopic in swift clash of color; that you are trotting a queen to Ball, HiR!, Have a good, time music that melts into the dancer's at the Victory Ball; Hic. Have a soul; eyes that pass with naughty or Whom? cs the case may be. good time at the Victory Bal, Hic, challenge or flashing smile, eyes If there is a chance that any of Hie! Have a good time at the Vic- grey, brown, blue-and all happy; the Fellows know the young lady, tory Ball. Have a good time at the a thousand voices eagerly piping at this point it is best to remain Victory Ball, Hid !Have a good inanities; the dress suit in all its silent, or else say simply, Youll time at the Victory Ball. HIC! immaculate, black-and-white cor- see," for according to time-hon- Have a good time at the Victory rectess, whether inherited from ored custom if you announce the Hop! Hid! Have a good time at father with amendments, relieved name and measurements of the the Victory Ball, hic, hic! Have- roi dummy service, or tailored filly and she be known, her iden- a good time at the Victory Ball, to the frame. tity will be closely followed by hid!Have a good time at the Vic- This cabbages and kings com- ao '"Who" aincred lou land tory Ball. Have a goodtime at the posite is what we call the Hop. Do ter, acompanied by diverse re- victory BALL! hIC have a GOOD not believe it comic. Too *any marks designed to sully her chaste TIME at the J-hop, er-r-r-r Vic; things have hallowed it. rhgracter. If she be unknoWn, you tory Ball, we mean hid Have a Years have silvered its giddy are ' v-fortunate, for itis then good time at theiVctory, HIC, head .with the reverence and tra- po Abl to state solemnly, Su- ball hiC! ditions of time. zanoe De Glutz, and add the all- HAVE a good time at the Vic- Thousands of fair pilgrims have important words, "her father is tory Ball, hid! Have a gpod consecrated it by making it their the Third National Bank." This time at the Victory Ball, Hic, Hic, Mecca. is known as Creating a Stir. hid! Have a good time at the Vic- It has been the subject of august Now it is important to note that tory Ball, hid! Have a good time! influenza conclaves- a Victory Ball does not mean just Hic! Victory Ball Hid! Have a It has made the reputation of a dance. Victory Ball means we good time at the Victory Ball, several Michigan women, are all going to try to act like we Hic. Have a time! Hid! Have a It has put its pretty, foolish are Harvard boys or Cornell or Hid! Victory Ball! Hid! Hid! Hid! fingers in many thousand portly Dartmouth Winter Carnivalites, or Hid! Hic! Hic! pockets, and left only vacuum, something else of the sort that usually appears in the party sec- tion of Life Magazine. So there must be other plans made. There T/ must be a fine dinner, at some -* £L oo~k r-iiie t spot where none of us have ever - been before, and there must be drinking, not of mere beer, nor of - near beer, though there are those to'Sprin g who can be satisfied by such. No, it must be cocktails, or at the - very least highballs. If you are fortunate enough to have a car, or can afford a taxi and what is more find one on that night of all nights, you attend the festivities mat' at some out-of-town drinking spot t where you will be charged double prices fvr half-drinks because you are college students and they've all got plenty of the long green, and at said spot you will sit and pre- tend to make a lot of noise and be painfully gay, and watch others Newly arrived Spring who seem really to be in the spirit Sas of the thing, but who actually are Sport Coats and Slacks. watching you wishing they could Latest patterns and still be half as gay as you are. It is a hundred-to-one shot that some- 100% Pure Wool. Visit body in your party will (1) drink too much and have to be escorted us soon for a complete to the Men's Ladies' (choose one) selection. PERSONALITY Coats ... $16.50 PLUS Slaks. $4.95 up Look your best during that all- important Victory Ball week-end! For the latest in tonsorial serv- lees: scalp treatmentsfisacis, adnwhair styles, visit ur moenshp. En~r O G-G RY. 5 Barbers - No Waiting I O I (Y The Dascola Barbers. Between State and Mich. Theatres 521 East Liberty Michigan Theatre Building room, or (2) somebody will have a flat tire when he gets out to the car, or (3) there will be an acci- dent on a hairpin curve, or (4) persons unknown will have walked out wearing the new formal over- coat you argued your family into buying just before the time needed, and you will leave your name at the roadhouse just in case the person unknown merely made a mistake, and six months later the checkroom girl will call you up and you will go out there and she will show you a burlap sack picked up outside and say is this it? and you will say no-or perhaps yes if you need a burlap sack. On the other hand, if you do not have a. car, and cannot (you will not, let me assure you) find a taxi, you. will go en masse to one of the local coke and jukebox shops and sit in a back booth and mix set- ups with cheap whiskey you have bought along the way, and things will get very hilarious, with re- sults one through three as listed already (two and three to be taken figuratively, not literally). The whole thing should not run you more than about twenty- five bucks, if you are careful and do not start lighting cigars with ten-dollar bills in the spirit of good clean boyish fun. And. look what you get for it. For a month afterward you will not date, nor indeed see any more of the fair sex than is absolutely necessary. That should save you a certain amount depending upon how much you ordinarily date. And what is more, if she is any kind of a girl at all, you will have been allowed breath- lessly and earnestly, to kiss her goodnight on Friday night, on Saturday once just before dinner when the rest of the mob has gone in to the table already, and perhaps if she loves you, at the train when she leaves. May- be she will take your fraternity pin, if you are a good boy. If she does not get around much, she may send you her picture, which you can put in your room along with the other pictures, and it is fairly likely she will make certain overtures within the year concerning the . next, but you will know better than that-oh ha ha ha, won't you though. Eventually you will marry the girl or some other girl, or join the army and be sent to Morocco, Siberia, Tim- buctoo, and all this nonsense will be over, and in retrospect it will all look like a lot of fun. Those of you who derive any more pleasure of the Big Event of the Social Season will be either naughty or smooth and in either case you could have as much fun any other week-end of the year. I hope you all have just oodles and oodles of fun, kids. Nay, I am sure you will. Give Your Clothes Budget a Break! Purchase those extra items for your Wardrobe at PRE-SEASON PRICES Suits - 30.00-45.00 Shirts - 1.95-2.50 Topcoats - 26.50-40.00 Smart Hats - 4.00-5.00 Headquarters for Cooper's Jockey Underwear KUOHN'S CLOTHES SH OP 122 East Liberty - On the Corner next to P-Bell "Durability is our keynote When you buy your clothes this year, you will more than ever look for quality. We invite you to in- spect ou rew., spring styles which -have just arrived and try their long-wearing qualities. PABIDEAU~LHA RR iS "Where the Good Clothes Come From" 119 SOUTH MAIN STREET, ANN ARBOR