Page Fourteen
T HE M IC H IG AN D A ILY
Saturday, February 1 5, 1941
Page Fourteen THE MICHIGAN DAILY Saturday, February 15, 1941
If Hitler Sees This, Expect Trouble
TheBookNook noose of the dorms
Ahem, it seems that they've put out
a few more books lately. Yessiree.
Ahem.
Now take that new one they've
just added to the required reading
for Physics 1,001. Well, it happens
that I perused those 3,098 pages of
small type two years ago. Ah, it was
great sport. Yessiree. Great sport.
After the first year and a half I de-
cided, dash it all, to go on to the sec-
ond chapter. Let us now go on to the
next review.
I made the most delightful discov-
ery the other day. I was wandering
through that new library they opened
a while back. Really a very fine li-
brary. Yes. Well, I was wandering.
Suddenly, my hands, which had been
caressing the backs of the books,
came to rest on one which felt a little
strange to me.
The librarian informed me that it
is a best-seller. Let me bring it to
your attention. The book is entitled,
"True Confessions of a Cro-Magnon
Spy." I hadn't any idea that the Cro-
Magnon's had spies, did you? I won-
der what they did. Probably spied.
Yes. Probably.
And then there is "The Grim Fairy
Tale." For Adults Only. They say it
sold 55,000,003 copies the first day.
(Don't miss the one about Jack and
Jill on the hill!) The author is a fine
man-friend of mine. Yes, yes. He
told me it took his 17 years to com-
pile the material for one tale alone.
i
What we want to know is: what
member of what well-known group
on campus (we ain't mentionin' no
names) entertained at a coffee shop
after the sock-her game last Satur-
day by doing his version of the "Yel-
low Banana?" Sech goins on-in an
A.E. (See end. Have to keep you going
some how) too! Tsk! Tsk!
Ah, what a perfectly lovully world
this J-Hop atmosphere has created.
Just as we were on our way out (not
like you think!) to visit a group of
big building here-abouts to find
out what new pranks they were going
to pull to entertain the many readers
of our colyum, we were bowled over
by a horde of eager publicity-seekers
(chairmen, to you) announcing the
following activities for the coming
week:
Blackwell will give a pageant today
to celebrate the J-Hop Hop Hop Hop
(will somebody PLEASE shut off that
AP machine! ! ! Can we help it if
Mrs. Hitler just had another rat?
The theme of the display will be
"Why the 1942 Junior Dance is a
Demoralizing, Disorganizing Influ-
ence to Those Among Us Who Have
Begun to Study for Our Economics
51 Final Which We Expect To Have
to Pass Next Semester So We Can
Go to Next Year's J-H Provided We're
Asked Because We Haven't Been
Asked Yet and This Is Our Last
Chance, Darn It All!"
Miss Tedy Thastar, social chair-
I ODQ9G _. O©OG' OO()00000<>O{) () UCI
HEAD INTO SPRING-
Have yourself a bright little hat.
Straws, fabrics, and felts, enchant-
ingly feminine in black, brown,
navy, and new pastels.
HEAD SIZES 2112-24
Get the SCHILLER habit!
SCHILLER'S
219 South Main
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A
man of the joint (or didn't you boys
know?) made it known today that
only those girls who have had five
5) invitationsrto the J-H (and us
with only four) will participate so
that the A.E. will not get a name
which it does not falsely deserve.
One feature of the entertainment
will be a group of carollers all dressed
up in beautiful flowing white eve-
ning gowns of Schiaparelli design
with a soft fullness around the feet
on which are silver sandals designed
by I. Miller . . . oh yes, as we were
saying, they will be all dressed in
white to sing the famous carol "Tiger
Rag-with harmony.
Then in the men's department we
hear that the East and West Cads will
have exchange dinners with the
young ladies of Marjorie Weaver. We
hope the girls won't be too shocked
by the forward passes! Incidentally,
we were informed by some stool pig-
eon "in the know" that this will
henceforth be a regular nightly fea-
ture.
P.S. Now for the big surprise-A.E.
means Accredited Establishment.
Thanx, George .. .
Coeds Unfair
To Silkworms
New Hosiery Is Ugly, Expensive
Useless And Typical
Schiaparelli may have designed
them and millions of feminine hearts
may desire them but the men of
America are not going to like the
idea of women gadding about with
stockings that look like stand-ins for
rainbows.
We've heard that long bright-col-
ored wool stockings give a new look
to girls' legs, that a green and yel-
low combination with a darker stripe
give legs a snaky look and that col-
ored lisle stockings are "gay" when
blended with dresses of the same
color. With all that we agree, but ...
We've heard also that men don't
think much of that "new look," that
men don't want legs with that "snaky
look" and that "gay" stockings do
nothing save create an impression of
horror as far as the male animal is
concerned.
During recent months there has
been a great deal of talk about
boycotting Japan by not buying silk,
most of which would go into stock-
ings if purchased. Frankly, the idea
of not buying Nipponese products
does not meet with our approval-the
substitutes don't.
Certainly we realize that the ex-
pense of silk or nylon stockings is
great and that runs do tax the Amer-
ican girls' bdugets considerably. We
also realize that the purchase of lisle
will help U.S. cotton growers and
that the purchase of wool will do no
harm to the tenders of sheep. Still,
in the words of Shakespeare, "we
don't like them nohow."
Since the day not so long ago that
the female of the species decided to
wear her skirts above the ankles, the
male has become appreciative of
legs-very appreciative.
i
Little Adolf
Is Solid For
Polygamy
PDQ Reports This Stuff;
The Editors Read It;
You'd Better Ignore It
BERLIN, Feb. 14-(PDQ)-Adolf
Hitler, reviewing the new American
movement for polygamy, revealed
that like plans were to be followed
in the Reich and "possibly in every
civilized nation upon the face of the
earth."
"Despite vastly increasing numbers
of children we shall be forced to feed,
and the drain it will have on our
stores of supplies, the Reich will
gladly forsake the war to cooperate
in this new international movement,"
he told his press conference.
Many Muster Behind
Mass Marriage
L'AMOUR, Nev., Feb. 14-(PDQ)-
Forerunning one of the most revo-
lutionary social and economic move-
ments in the history of the nation,
dramatic steps were taken here to-
day in the final draft of the proposed
Nova-Meo Multiple Marriage Bill, to
legalize polygamy as a national insti-
tution.
Planning to introduce the bill in
the next session of Congress, Sen.
Cass A. Nova (Dem.-Nev.), sounded
the keynote of the new movement
propelled by numerous national
men's organizations. Before a vast
cheering throng of polygamy expon-
ents, Senator Nova declared "at last
the time has come for manhood to
assert its true right over all activity
in our national scene. Woman, that
deceitful and inferior being, is at last
to be cast down under the marching
feet of the new era of manhood!"
More From Rowe
Following up his colleague's talk,
Congressman Rowe Meo (Rep.-N.Y.),
thrilled the maddened male audience
by declaring that "Man must be com-
plete master of the nation to lead the
country onward to new heights, to
create a state that will forever endure
unto eternity! Woman has deferred
the noble efforts of man toward pro-
gress since the first pages of history
were constituted. But now it is time
for these fickle, boasting members of
our species to be chained far below
the level of new and far-reaching
activities that will surely prevail now
that man will have compelte control
of every category of human endeav-
or!"
Supplementary to the keynoting
speeches were many national conven-
tions at which all men-s organiza-
tions were represented.
Turnpike Pipes Up
J. Pompton Turnpike, assistant
statistician of the FBEAMR (Federal
Bureau of Economic Aspects of Mar-
riage Relations), asserted the favor-
able attitude which official circles'
hold toward the proposed bill. Citing
the inevitable rise in the birth rate
and the economic factors of increased
male purchasing power, he declared
that the female sex will be pushed
completely out of the economic set-
up, that investments will find num-
erous outlets in enterprises tending
toward the production of goods which
manhood will demand-"less frivo-
lous, more hardy goods to elevate the
race as a whole."
Telegrams and letters of congrat-
ulations and encouragements poured
into the offices of Nova and Meo
from all parts of the nation and from
evry country in the world.
Prof. John McKelvey of the Uni-
versity of Minnesota, spent two years
as head of the department of ob-
stetrics at Peiping Union Medical
College in China.
Thirty-three University of North
Dakota engineering college seniors
have completed mine rescue and
first aid courses given by the United
States bureau of mines.
FINE LEATHER WATCH STRAP
Nothing quite so practical has been found. For
your protection the trade name is stamped on
every surap, your assurance of highest quality.
75 t etr, hrimm wlr
Jtroui yjh de
LOOKING
GLA'SS
6y Ace
/ w Head appeal is the
hat slogan for this
-i spring's chapeaux.
' The Collins shop
has a collection of "becoming"
hats, with the sole purpose of
making you pretty this spring.
Flattering hats, bedecked with
flowers and veils, are predom-
inant. A navy higher-crowned
pillbox sports gardenias at its
prow. Bonnets flourish, as do
felt and bengaline combina-
tions. Have a whiff of spring
on your head right now.
"-
Bibs and tuckers :.
and fresh white .
blouses clamor
for spring at the
Dillon shop. Collar and cuff
sets are crisp and pure. A
dainty blouse of embroidered
marquisette will perk up a black
silk skirt or add allure to a tail-
ored suit. Jewelry, too, has
gone white in new white jet
earrings, beads, and clips. Or
in quaint lapel pins of animal
shapes. Spring accessories,
these, to help you with the dif-
ficult February wardrobe tran-
sition.
4
The Stork Club
has gone into
make-up. Cal-
kins-Fletcher is
featuring Tussy's new fruity
red, inspired by the smart New
York night club, to give you
that young, young look. It fills
a demand for a richer, darker
shade in lipsticks. A rosy com-
panion to navy, it dramatizes
greyor beige, and brightens
black and white. Miraculously,
too, it's equally flattering to
blond and brunette. Lipstick
and cream rouge are 1.00;
matching nail polish at 50c.
A nautical flavor,
is added to nail
polish with the
new middy kits
from Revlon as '
seen at the Vo-
gue beauty shop. The case
looks like a sailor's middy col-
lar in navy serge, complete even
to two white stars. Inside are
the polish and polish remover,
and the adheron is included
free. Nice for gifts and for
yourself too. The whole kit
for 1.00.
4
Military flattery
finds its way in-
to dresses this
spring. One of
the clever new
Carlye frocks at
Jacobson's sports
a navy cape over
the dotted dress, complete even
to crossed chest straps of navy.
Another Carlye in navy has its
own cabana rdcoat in redingote
style. Then there is a dress-
coat combination with an all-
navy dress, the coat gone "half-
and-half" in red and navy.
Pepper red prints with black
velvet touches also hail spring-
ward.
h)-o <-"->o-->OC oo<->(-0->< >< > o-0<-o -->) --<- --:c
When You Dress For That Date... Q fj
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SCOMPLETE YOUR OUTFIT0
WITH a dressy handkerchief. We have a great many styles that O
will complement your most beautiful evening gown or most o
sophisticated date dress. No outfit is complete without one.
"Always reasonably priced"
GAGE LINEN SHOP
10 NICKELS ARCADE
t -;; <>o O O<:> o >o <o ;; ; ; ; ;; C
I
I I
Good Old-Fashioned
Common Sense
will tell you -
THAT THE PLACE TO BUY IS WHERE FRIENDLINESS AND
REAL VALUE ARE A PART OF EVERY TRANSACTION*...
SLATE R'S