Page Fourteen T HE M IC H IG AN D A ILY Saturday, February 1 5, 1941 Page Fourteen THE MICHIGAN DAILY Saturday, February 15, 1941 If Hitler Sees This, Expect Trouble TheBookNook noose of the dorms Ahem, it seems that they've put out a few more books lately. Yessiree. Ahem. Now take that new one they've just added to the required reading for Physics 1,001. Well, it happens that I perused those 3,098 pages of small type two years ago. Ah, it was great sport. Yessiree. Great sport. After the first year and a half I de- cided, dash it all, to go on to the sec- ond chapter. Let us now go on to the next review. I made the most delightful discov- ery the other day. I was wandering through that new library they opened a while back. Really a very fine li- brary. Yes. Well, I was wandering. Suddenly, my hands, which had been caressing the backs of the books, came to rest on one which felt a little strange to me. The librarian informed me that it is a best-seller. Let me bring it to your attention. The book is entitled, "True Confessions of a Cro-Magnon Spy." I hadn't any idea that the Cro- Magnon's had spies, did you? I won- der what they did. Probably spied. Yes. Probably. And then there is "The Grim Fairy Tale." For Adults Only. They say it sold 55,000,003 copies the first day. (Don't miss the one about Jack and Jill on the hill!) The author is a fine man-friend of mine. Yes, yes. He told me it took his 17 years to com- pile the material for one tale alone. i What we want to know is: what member of what well-known group on campus (we ain't mentionin' no names) entertained at a coffee shop after the sock-her game last Satur- day by doing his version of the "Yel- low Banana?" Sech goins on-in an A.E. (See end. Have to keep you going some how) too! Tsk! Tsk! Ah, what a perfectly lovully world this J-Hop atmosphere has created. Just as we were on our way out (not like you think!) to visit a group of big building here-abouts to find out what new pranks they were going to pull to entertain the many readers of our colyum, we were bowled over by a horde of eager publicity-seekers (chairmen, to you) announcing the following activities for the coming week: Blackwell will give a pageant today to celebrate the J-Hop Hop Hop Hop (will somebody PLEASE shut off that AP machine! ! ! Can we help it if Mrs. Hitler just had another rat? The theme of the display will be "Why the 1942 Junior Dance is a Demoralizing, Disorganizing Influ- ence to Those Among Us Who Have Begun to Study for Our Economics 51 Final Which We Expect To Have to Pass Next Semester So We Can Go to Next Year's J-H Provided We're Asked Because We Haven't Been Asked Yet and This Is Our Last Chance, Darn It All!" Miss Tedy Thastar, social chair- I ODQ9G _. O©OG' OO()00000<>O{) () UCI HEAD INTO SPRING- Have yourself a bright little hat. Straws, fabrics, and felts, enchant- ingly feminine in black, brown, navy, and new pastels. HEAD SIZES 2112-24 Get the SCHILLER habit! SCHILLER'S 219 South Main ilJ i _ _ v. O 0 _ O v A man of the joint (or didn't you boys know?) made it known today that only those girls who have had five 5) invitationsrto the J-H (and us with only four) will participate so that the A.E. will not get a name which it does not falsely deserve. One feature of the entertainment will be a group of carollers all dressed up in beautiful flowing white eve- ning gowns of Schiaparelli design with a soft fullness around the feet on which are silver sandals designed by I. Miller . . . oh yes, as we were saying, they will be all dressed in white to sing the famous carol "Tiger Rag-with harmony. Then in the men's department we hear that the East and West Cads will have exchange dinners with the young ladies of Marjorie Weaver. We hope the girls won't be too shocked by the forward passes! Incidentally, we were informed by some stool pig- eon "in the know" that this will henceforth be a regular nightly fea- ture. P.S. Now for the big surprise-A.E. means Accredited Establishment. Thanx, George .. . Coeds Unfair To Silkworms New Hosiery Is Ugly, Expensive Useless And Typical Schiaparelli may have designed them and millions of feminine hearts may desire them but the men of America are not going to like the idea of women gadding about with stockings that look like stand-ins for rainbows. We've heard that long bright-col- ored wool stockings give a new look to girls' legs, that a green and yel- low combination with a darker stripe give legs a snaky look and that col- ored lisle stockings are "gay" when blended with dresses of the same color. With all that we agree, but ... We've heard also that men don't think much of that "new look," that men don't want legs with that "snaky look" and that "gay" stockings do nothing save create an impression of horror as far as the male animal is concerned. During recent months there has been a great deal of talk about boycotting Japan by not buying silk, most of which would go into stock- ings if purchased. Frankly, the idea of not buying Nipponese products does not meet with our approval-the substitutes don't. Certainly we realize that the ex- pense of silk or nylon stockings is great and that runs do tax the Amer- ican girls' bdugets considerably. We also realize that the purchase of lisle will help U.S. cotton growers and that the purchase of wool will do no harm to the tenders of sheep. Still, in the words of Shakespeare, "we don't like them nohow." Since the day not so long ago that the female of the species decided to wear her skirts above the ankles, the male has become appreciative of legs-very appreciative. i Little Adolf Is Solid For Polygamy PDQ Reports This Stuff; The Editors Read It; You'd Better Ignore It BERLIN, Feb. 14-(PDQ)-Adolf Hitler, reviewing the new American movement for polygamy, revealed that like plans were to be followed in the Reich and "possibly in every civilized nation upon the face of the earth." "Despite vastly increasing numbers of children we shall be forced to feed, and the drain it will have on our stores of supplies, the Reich will gladly forsake the war to cooperate in this new international movement," he told his press conference. Many Muster Behind Mass Marriage L'AMOUR, Nev., Feb. 14-(PDQ)- Forerunning one of the most revo- lutionary social and economic move- ments in the history of the nation, dramatic steps were taken here to- day in the final draft of the proposed Nova-Meo Multiple Marriage Bill, to legalize polygamy as a national insti- tution. Planning to introduce the bill in the next session of Congress, Sen. Cass A. Nova (Dem.-Nev.), sounded the keynote of the new movement propelled by numerous national men's organizations. Before a vast cheering throng of polygamy expon- ents, Senator Nova declared "at last the time has come for manhood to assert its true right over all activity in our national scene. Woman, that deceitful and inferior being, is at last to be cast down under the marching feet of the new era of manhood!" More From Rowe Following up his colleague's talk, Congressman Rowe Meo (Rep.-N.Y.), thrilled the maddened male audience by declaring that "Man must be com- plete master of the nation to lead the country onward to new heights, to create a state that will forever endure unto eternity! Woman has deferred the noble efforts of man toward pro- gress since the first pages of history were constituted. But now it is time for these fickle, boasting members of our species to be chained far below the level of new and far-reaching activities that will surely prevail now that man will have compelte control of every category of human endeav- or!" Supplementary to the keynoting speeches were many national conven- tions at which all men-s organiza- tions were represented. Turnpike Pipes Up J. Pompton Turnpike, assistant statistician of the FBEAMR (Federal Bureau of Economic Aspects of Mar- riage Relations), asserted the favor- able attitude which official circles' hold toward the proposed bill. Citing the inevitable rise in the birth rate and the economic factors of increased male purchasing power, he declared that the female sex will be pushed completely out of the economic set- up, that investments will find num- erous outlets in enterprises tending toward the production of goods which manhood will demand-"less frivo- lous, more hardy goods to elevate the race as a whole." Telegrams and letters of congrat- ulations and encouragements poured into the offices of Nova and Meo from all parts of the nation and from evry country in the world. Prof. John McKelvey of the Uni- versity of Minnesota, spent two years as head of the department of ob- stetrics at Peiping Union Medical College in China. Thirty-three University of North Dakota engineering college seniors have completed mine rescue and first aid courses given by the United States bureau of mines. FINE LEATHER WATCH STRAP Nothing quite so practical has been found. For your protection the trade name is stamped on every surap, your assurance of highest quality. 75 t etr, hrimm wlr Jtroui yjh de LOOKING GLA'SS 6y Ace / w Head appeal is the hat slogan for this -i spring's chapeaux. ' The Collins shop has a collection of "becoming" hats, with the sole purpose of making you pretty this spring. Flattering hats, bedecked with flowers and veils, are predom- inant. A navy higher-crowned pillbox sports gardenias at its prow. Bonnets flourish, as do felt and bengaline combina- tions. Have a whiff of spring on your head right now. "- Bibs and tuckers :. and fresh white . blouses clamor for spring at the Dillon shop. Collar and cuff sets are crisp and pure. A dainty blouse of embroidered marquisette will perk up a black silk skirt or add allure to a tail- ored suit. Jewelry, too, has gone white in new white jet earrings, beads, and clips. Or in quaint lapel pins of animal shapes. Spring accessories, these, to help you with the dif- ficult February wardrobe tran- sition. 4 The Stork Club has gone into make-up. Cal- kins-Fletcher is featuring Tussy's new fruity red, inspired by the smart New York night club, to give you that young, young look. It fills a demand for a richer, darker shade in lipsticks. A rosy com- panion to navy, it dramatizes greyor beige, and brightens black and white. Miraculously, too, it's equally flattering to blond and brunette. Lipstick and cream rouge are 1.00; matching nail polish at 50c. A nautical flavor, is added to nail polish with the new middy kits from Revlon as ' seen at the Vo- gue beauty shop. The case looks like a sailor's middy col- lar in navy serge, complete even to two white stars. Inside are the polish and polish remover, and the adheron is included free. Nice for gifts and for yourself too. The whole kit for 1.00. 4 Military flattery finds its way in- to dresses this spring. One of the clever new Carlye frocks at Jacobson's sports a navy cape over the dotted dress, complete even to crossed chest straps of navy. Another Carlye in navy has its own cabana rdcoat in redingote style. Then there is a dress- coat combination with an all- navy dress, the coat gone "half- and-half" in red and navy. Pepper red prints with black velvet touches also hail spring- ward. h)-o <-"->o-->OC oo<->(-0->< >< > o-0<-o -->) --<- --:c When You Dress For That Date... Q fj t\i SCOMPLETE YOUR OUTFIT0 WITH a dressy handkerchief. We have a great many styles that O will complement your most beautiful evening gown or most o sophisticated date dress. No outfit is complete without one. "Always reasonably priced" GAGE LINEN SHOP 10 NICKELS ARCADE t -;; <>o O O<:> o >o