4B- The Michigan Daily - Were4 e4. - Thursday, November 30, 1995
Flicks make audiences dumb and dumber
By Jennifer Petlinski -
Daily Arts Writer
Ace Ventura shoves asparagus up his
nose and picks his butt; we giggle hys-
terically. Detective Frank Drebin and
his girlfriend prepare for a night of hot
sex with life-size condoms; we're think-
ing tiat-it doesn't get much better than
this.
Wbelcome to the world of"stupid mov-
ies.' .;Everyone can identify them. We
are all familiar with "Ace Ventura,"
"Naked Gun," "Hot Shots" and all of
those other movies ... and their sequels
and the sequels to their sequels.
These are the movies that just never
seem to go away.
Of course, since they don't disappear,
we always end up paying a lot of money
to see them. And how can we possibly
ignore them anyway? These stupid mov-
ies, usually constitute over half of the
films that are available at our local the-
aters.
No matter how dumb they are, we
laugh so hard that most of us walk out of
the theater with tears rolling down our
cheeks and pains shooting up our sides.
But there's a catch.
Most people (the same ones who leave
the theater with wet faces and side-split-
ting pains) will never admit to thei'rlove
for these flicks. Just suggest seeing "Ace
Ventura: When Nature Calls" to a friend.
The conversation might go something
like this:
Friend No. 1: Man, there's absolutely
nothing to do around here. Wait a sec ...
we could catch a movie - maybe Jim
Carrey's latest. His first one was pretty ...
all right.
(We can probably bet money that Friend
I has seen the first "Ace Ventura" film
enough times to have memorized the
movie. From histone, we can tell that he's
been waiting for the sequel. However, he
maintains his composure. Flipping out
over a stupid movie will not look good.)
Friend 2: What the hell are you talking
about? Jim Carrey sucks. That idea sucks.
His jokes are for two-year-olds. There
must be something else we can do.
(Friend 2 has memorized the movie as
well. She, however, will never admit the
money she spent renting the first "Ace"
probably paid a considerable chunk of
someone's salary).
We all know the ending to this story:
The friends skip a trip to the local bars to
catch "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls."
They see the movie, laugh louder than
anyone in the theater, and imitate Ace's
most tasteful gestures until the next se-
quel comes out.
Many people, like these two friends,
roll their eyeballs at any mention of such
stupid movies, even while they say that
they wouldn't be caught dead paying
money to see them.
What can we tell about these countless
eyeball-rolling people? The answer is
plain and simple: They are lying. The
evidence undoubtedly proves the case.
1. Just check out Jim Carrey's salary
(now as high as $20 million for the up-
coming "Cable Guy") for each movie he
makes. Obviously,it'scoming from some-
where - our pockets, perhaps.
2. Probably the only reason therehasn't
been a "Naked Gun 444 and 1/4" is that
O.J. has been a little tied up these days.
3. The first"Hot Shots" was bad enough.
If the directors knew it wouldn't make
money, why would they bother to write
"Part Deux?"
Obviously, many film fans admit they
watch and even enjoy these movies. The
real question, however, is WHY?
Maybe these movies don't provide the
intellectual substance (or any substance
for that matter) that other movies give us.
Instead, they are more simple, two-hour
escapes from reality. Sometimes the plot
(or lack thereof) and characters in these
movies are so stupid that we just have to
laugh. Sadbut true, maybe wejust needto
watch a "Naked Gun" movie every time
it appears on HBO.
As pathetic as this seems, this trend
really isn't that bad. In fact, stupidmovies
might just be the ideal remedy for those
who cope with endless stress. For all the
students who have to deal with final ex-
ams, students who find out that a class is
completely closed exactly five minutes
before they are scheduled to CRISP, stu-
dents who can no longer understand why
they took their job in the first place,
students who can't finish halfofthe things
they've planned to do in a day ... Jim
Carrey, Leslie Nielsen and Charlie Sheen
could provide brief breaks from a com-
plex world of time constraints.
To all the eyeball-rollers ofthe world:
There's no need to pretend. We know
you are watching. Don't feel too bad.
We're all guilty of enjoying prize mo-
ments, such as a naked Ace Ventura
falling out of a rhinoceros' ass and
Frank Drebin's all-day experience at a
sperm bank.
It's all in good and necessary fun.
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Nexx. Piroduct. AvmAhlble
Sports fan and director Woody Allen chats with boxing coach Tony Sirico in his
new film "Mighty Aphrodite."
1 / /
Men'S at imitate..s life
"When Nature Calls" for stupidity, Jim Carrey (as "Ace Ventura) listens.
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By Kate Brady
Daily Arts Writer
Most directors work with other
people's stories. An average night at
the movies usually includes super he-
roes, perfect love or incredibly excit-
ing action-filled plots. These stories,
of course, in no way resemble the life
of the average viewer. Nevertheless,
there are some directors and screen-
writers who give their films a per-
sonal touch. Among these, Woody
Allen stands out for his ability to
draw on his life to create something
meaningful for others.
Allen grew up playing baseball in
his Brooklyn neighborhood. He re-
mains an avid sports fan and regularly
attends Knicks games. Allen drew on
his longtime love of sports, for his
role in his latest film "Mighty
Aphrodite."
Here, he plays Lenny Weinrib, a
New York sportswriter who has re-
cently adopted his own "lightweight."
When discussing names forthis child,
Lenny suggests Sugar Ray andkorl
the Pearl, two of Allen's personal
sports heroes.
One signature of a Woody Allen
film is its location. Born and raised in
New York City, Allen is a man in love
with the town. His movies present an
affectionate view of the only city Allen
ever wants to call home.
Many of his films take place in the
city, giving him many opportunities
to make it look spectacular. In the
opening scene of "Manhattan" (1979),
one of his earlier works, Allen treats
his audience to some favorite views
of his hometown. He fills his frame
with a montage of beautiful back-
drops of New York, adding an elegant
flavor.
The music heard in Woody Allen's
movies is also very important to him.
As a musician and a music lover, he
carefully selects the appropriate mu-
sic to be used. A Gershwin fan who
also loves jazz, Allen's favorites usu-
ally comprise his films' scores.
Allen's fairly typical upbringing
also inspires much of his work. He
played baseball and basketball with
the neighborhood kids. He played
hooky from school in order to go to
the movies. He captures the feel of
childhood in "Radio Days" (1987),
which is set in the same years that
Allen himself was growing up.
His great love for film began in the
days of glamour movies, chock full of
stars and fantasy. Allen wanted to
capture that love he had for the mov-
ies, and this feeling is reflected in his
"The Purple Rose of Cairo" (1985).
Here, the main character escanes from
her mundane life by going to the mov-
ies. The pictures she sees are a tribute
to an old style of filmmaking - the>
type of movie a young Woody Allen'
might have seen on those days of
skipping class.
The most obviously self-referen.
tial parts of Allen's work are the char-
acters he plays. In many of his films,
he takes on the role ofthe "little man."
This guy talks to the camera, acts as a
narrator of sorts, and is also involved
in the action. His commentary pro- -
vides both humor and insight into
what Woody Allen, the director, thinks
about what's happening.
There are some characteristics
which unite all his roles. His charac-
ter is a wise ass, always cracking
jokes and making comments which
often end up getting him in trouble.
He is highly cynical, but also likable
and romantic in a nerdy sort of way.
And his characters somehow always
manage to wind up in bed with some
of the best looking women in modern
cinema (one perk of writing, direct-
ing and starring in your own movies).
Allen's characters struggle with the,
same issues he does. Even in his most.
farcical films, there is always the un-°
derlying meaning which gives his,
work so much power. "Mighty
Aphrodite," which some consider a
light comedy, includes a Greek cho-
rus that provides both humor and,
morality questions about morality.
Woody Allen looks to every part of
his life for inspiration. The end result
is a refreshingly real body of work.
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