4B- The Michigan Daily - Were4 e4. - Thursday, November 30, 1995 Flicks make audiences dumb and dumber By Jennifer Petlinski - Daily Arts Writer Ace Ventura shoves asparagus up his nose and picks his butt; we giggle hys- terically. Detective Frank Drebin and his girlfriend prepare for a night of hot sex with life-size condoms; we're think- ing tiat-it doesn't get much better than this. Wbelcome to the world of"stupid mov- ies.' .;Everyone can identify them. We are all familiar with "Ace Ventura," "Naked Gun," "Hot Shots" and all of those other movies ... and their sequels and the sequels to their sequels. These are the movies that just never seem to go away. Of course, since they don't disappear, we always end up paying a lot of money to see them. And how can we possibly ignore them anyway? These stupid mov- ies, usually constitute over half of the films that are available at our local the- aters. No matter how dumb they are, we laugh so hard that most of us walk out of the theater with tears rolling down our cheeks and pains shooting up our sides. But there's a catch. Most people (the same ones who leave the theater with wet faces and side-split- ting pains) will never admit to thei'rlove for these flicks. Just suggest seeing "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls" to a friend. The conversation might go something like this: Friend No. 1: Man, there's absolutely nothing to do around here. Wait a sec ... we could catch a movie - maybe Jim Carrey's latest. His first one was pretty ... all right. (We can probably bet money that Friend I has seen the first "Ace Ventura" film enough times to have memorized the movie. From histone, we can tell that he's been waiting for the sequel. However, he maintains his composure. Flipping out over a stupid movie will not look good.) Friend 2: What the hell are you talking about? Jim Carrey sucks. That idea sucks. His jokes are for two-year-olds. There must be something else we can do. (Friend 2 has memorized the movie as well. She, however, will never admit the money she spent renting the first "Ace" probably paid a considerable chunk of someone's salary). We all know the ending to this story: The friends skip a trip to the local bars to catch "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls." They see the movie, laugh louder than anyone in the theater, and imitate Ace's most tasteful gestures until the next se- quel comes out. Many people, like these two friends, roll their eyeballs at any mention of such stupid movies, even while they say that they wouldn't be caught dead paying money to see them. What can we tell about these countless eyeball-rolling people? The answer is plain and simple: They are lying. The evidence undoubtedly proves the case. 1. Just check out Jim Carrey's salary (now as high as $20 million for the up- coming "Cable Guy") for each movie he makes. Obviously,it'scoming from some- where - our pockets, perhaps. 2. Probably the only reason therehasn't been a "Naked Gun 444 and 1/4" is that O.J. has been a little tied up these days. 3. The first"Hot Shots" was bad enough. If the directors knew it wouldn't make money, why would they bother to write "Part Deux?" Obviously, many film fans admit they watch and even enjoy these movies. The real question, however, is WHY? Maybe these movies don't provide the intellectual substance (or any substance for that matter) that other movies give us. Instead, they are more simple, two-hour escapes from reality. Sometimes the plot (or lack thereof) and characters in these movies are so stupid that we just have to laugh. Sadbut true, maybe wejust needto watch a "Naked Gun" movie every time it appears on HBO. As pathetic as this seems, this trend really isn't that bad. In fact, stupidmovies might just be the ideal remedy for those who cope with endless stress. For all the students who have to deal with final ex- ams, students who find out that a class is completely closed exactly five minutes before they are scheduled to CRISP, stu- dents who can no longer understand why they took their job in the first place, students who can't finish halfofthe things they've planned to do in a day ... Jim Carrey, Leslie Nielsen and Charlie Sheen could provide brief breaks from a com- plex world of time constraints. To all the eyeball-rollers ofthe world: There's no need to pretend. We know you are watching. Don't feel too bad. We're all guilty of enjoying prize mo- ments, such as a naked Ace Ventura falling out of a rhinoceros' ass and Frank Drebin's all-day experience at a sperm bank. It's all in good and necessary fun. Go Where t aProfs Go For G>rest Harcuts 613 Elibelly off state M-7 0:30-5:20 Bat TH 420 Nexx. Piroduct. AvmAhlble Sports fan and director Woody Allen chats with boxing coach Tony Sirico in his new film "Mighty Aphrodite." 1 / / Men'S at imitate..s life "When Nature Calls" for stupidity, Jim Carrey (as "Ace Ventura) listens. LLaunch Entertainment the Interactive CD-Rom Magazin el By Kate Brady Daily Arts Writer Most directors work with other people's stories. An average night at the movies usually includes super he- roes, perfect love or incredibly excit- ing action-filled plots. These stories, of course, in no way resemble the life of the average viewer. Nevertheless, there are some directors and screen- writers who give their films a per- sonal touch. Among these, Woody Allen stands out for his ability to draw on his life to create something meaningful for others. Allen grew up playing baseball in his Brooklyn neighborhood. He re- mains an avid sports fan and regularly attends Knicks games. Allen drew on his longtime love of sports, for his role in his latest film "Mighty Aphrodite." Here, he plays Lenny Weinrib, a New York sportswriter who has re- cently adopted his own "lightweight." When discussing names forthis child, Lenny suggests Sugar Ray andkorl the Pearl, two of Allen's personal sports heroes. One signature of a Woody Allen film is its location. Born and raised in New York City, Allen is a man in love with the town. His movies present an affectionate view of the only city Allen ever wants to call home. Many of his films take place in the city, giving him many opportunities to make it look spectacular. In the opening scene of "Manhattan" (1979), one of his earlier works, Allen treats his audience to some favorite views of his hometown. He fills his frame with a montage of beautiful back- drops of New York, adding an elegant flavor. The music heard in Woody Allen's movies is also very important to him. As a musician and a music lover, he carefully selects the appropriate mu- sic to be used. A Gershwin fan who also loves jazz, Allen's favorites usu- ally comprise his films' scores. Allen's fairly typical upbringing also inspires much of his work. He played baseball and basketball with the neighborhood kids. He played hooky from school in order to go to the movies. He captures the feel of childhood in "Radio Days" (1987), which is set in the same years that Allen himself was growing up. His great love for film began in the days of glamour movies, chock full of stars and fantasy. Allen wanted to capture that love he had for the mov- ies, and this feeling is reflected in his "The Purple Rose of Cairo" (1985). Here, the main character escanes from her mundane life by going to the mov- ies. The pictures she sees are a tribute to an old style of filmmaking - the> type of movie a young Woody Allen' might have seen on those days of skipping class. The most obviously self-referen. tial parts of Allen's work are the char- acters he plays. In many of his films, he takes on the role ofthe "little man." This guy talks to the camera, acts as a narrator of sorts, and is also involved in the action. His commentary pro- - vides both humor and insight into what Woody Allen, the director, thinks about what's happening. There are some characteristics which unite all his roles. His charac- ter is a wise ass, always cracking jokes and making comments which often end up getting him in trouble. He is highly cynical, but also likable and romantic in a nerdy sort of way. And his characters somehow always manage to wind up in bed with some of the best looking women in modern cinema (one perk of writing, direct- ing and starring in your own movies). Allen's characters struggle with the, same issues he does. Even in his most. farcical films, there is always the un-° derlying meaning which gives his, work so much power. "Mighty Aphrodite," which some consider a light comedy, includes a Greek cho- rus that provides both humor and, morality questions about morality. Woody Allen looks to every part of his life for inspiration. The end result is a refreshingly real body of work. 523 E. Liberty " 994-8031 M-Th 10-9:30 * F-Sat 10-10 Sun 12-8 http://www.schoolkids.com/skr/ 20(l~4 off our 1 y ' rci~ualr priccs open1'til miidnight. UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN PUBLIC FORUMS The selection and appointment of a president of the University of Michigan will affect all facets of the University. As the Board of Regents embarks on this most critical undertaking, its members want to hear the ideas and concerns of faculty, staff, students, alumni and others interested in the future of the University. Save 15%on allTimberland footwear during Midnight Madness " Friday, December 1st Please consider attending one in a series of public being hosted by the Regents. forums W- DATE Monday 'December4, 1995 IIME LOCAION~ 2:30-4:30 p.m. 6:00-8:00 p.m. U-M Ann Arbor Rackham Amphitheater U-M Ann Arbor Michigan Union Kuenzel Room U-M Ann Arbor Alumni Center Founders Room Faculty, Deans Students Alumni Thursday December 14, 1995 10:00 a.m.-Noon W& T. I LL~1t '~.1'11'4i