Page 8 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, January 18, 1991
I don't like him Sam I am, I don't like J.
dir. Sheldon Lettich
by Gregg Flaxman
Any amateur linguist will be in-
terested to know how Jean-Claude
Van Damme's reticent Lyon is fi-
nally dubbed "Lionheart." In
Sheldon Lettich's film by the same
name, Lyon Gaultier - an officer
in the French Foreign Legion -
goes AWOL from his compound in
North Africa when he learns his
brother has been seriously burned
in a drug deal in Los Angeles.
Lyon shows up in New York City
after what's apparently a two-day
crossing of the Atlantic aboard a
freighter; he has no money and no
idea what to do. Fortunately, they
speak only English in the French
Foreign Legion, so there's no
Discovering what is described
as "New York's illegal
underground fight circuit," Lyon is
dubbed "Lion" by a self-
proclaimed promoter named
Joshua. Subsequently, Lion
proceeds to pummel an anonymous
but very large opponent in
impressive Shotokan fashion.
Joshua, seeing a good thing, drags
the hulking Frenchman to what I
suppose is "New York's real
underground fight circuit," a
brightly-lit parking lot somewhere
above Manhattan where modern
day warriors battle and tawdry
New Yorkers lay down bets in
excess of $5,000 (yet mysteriously
flash nothing bigger than twenty-
dollar bills). Prior to fighting, Lion
is christened "Lionheart" by patron
Cynthia (Deborah Rennard). Like
most of the characters, Cynthia is
deprived of a last name, while
Lyon gets more first names than he
knows what to do with.
The most important question
posed by Lionheart does not
concern Lyon but Belgian-born
actor Van Damme and his
presence in the United States. Are
there immigration laws, and if so
why aren't they being enforced?
Van Damme goes through this film
trying to evoke any of those
innumerable Western heroes who
were short on talk but big on
action. Instead, the enormous Bel-
gian seems entirely bored
throughout the film, almost
resentful of the camera. Even the
numerous fight sequences - in a
racquetball court, in another
garage, in an emptied-out
swimming pool - fail to enliven
the film or Van Damme's perfor-
mance. The repetition of punches
and use of slow motion seem in-
tended to assure the audience that,
indeed, not a single blow comes
anywhere close to hitting its mark.
Eventually, of course, Lyon
makes his way to Los Angeles,
where he fights supposedly for the
welfare of his family and where,
despite the big pay-days, the
characters still don't carry cash in
denominations bigger than
twenties. But by this time
audiences should be catatonic with
boredom or offended by the
stereotypes this film totes as if
they were accolades. One scene of
a woman licking the blood off her
fingers and neck- the blood that
was splattered after a vicious blow
in a fight - should be enough to
force audiences from the theater.
The film is so incoherent, fre-
netic, ill-developed and inane that
it has no redeeming value. Van
Damme, who can barely speak En-
glish, actually co-wrote Lionheart
with director Lettich, whose previ-
ous screenplays include Rambo III
and Russkies. Obviously, the film
is intent upon a final fight
sequence in which the most
colossal, threatening, invincible
titan is found for Lyon to duel
with- as if he might actually lose
this bout. Lionheart doesn't require
a suspension of reality, rather a
suspension of even nominal
intelligence. This isn't
filmmaking- it's the World
Wrestling Federation. And it's in-
The production notes for Lionheart claim that Jean Claude Van Damme would look at home adorning the cover,
of Gentleman's Quarterly, prompting the question: Do martial arts and menswear mix?
Rock Amadeus for his birthday
by Sue Useimann
Lionheart is playing at Showcase.
Continued from page 5
Orpheus Singers and the University
Symphony Orchestra will be
spotlighted in their various perches
on Hill Auditorium's stage.
Information Officer Marilyn
Dreiter says of the concert, "This
is a different way of listening to
music. You become aware of
differences in style." The collage's
appeal to a busy student might lie
in the opportunity to listen to
excerpts of many popular works
Within the space of a few hours.
After just one evening of
attendance; you can tell your
friends that you heard more than
ten works of great music. Who
says you don't expose yourself to
For those who seek more than
just a tour of several centuries of
music A la David Lynch, the
concert will display the talents of
conductors such as Gustav Meier,
H. Robert Reynolds and Jerry
Blackstone. Their batons will
wield both the lyrical melodies of
Strauss's Death and
Transfiguration, op.24 and the rau-
cous entertainment of musical the-
ater. For those with aspirations in
the field of music education, the
concert's intermission will allow
for hobnobbing with educators from
all over Michigan.
The Collage Concert will be an
exciting conclusion to today's con-
ference activities. Priority seating
will be given to conference guests,
but about 2,000 seats should be
available for the little people.
Though this stunning array of
music will provide a priceless
evening of entertainment,
admission is free.
COLLAGE XIV will begin tonight at
8:15 p.m. in Hill Auditorium.
Conference guests will be admitted
from 7:30 p.m.-7:55 p.m.At 7.55 p.m.,
doors will be opened to the general
F or one month, the Kerrytown
Concert House will celebrate the
200th anniversary of Wolfgang
Amadeus Mozart's birth. Forte-pi-
anist Penelope Crawford, known
for her enthusiasm and vitality in
this subject, will perform a concert
of the composer's work.
Although she began on the
modern piano, in the past decade
Crawford's interests have veered.
toward the harpsichord and forte-
piano, two earlier ancestors of the
modern piano. "I love early
music," she said, "and I welcome
the idea of digging out answers to
the' musical traditions that many
people overlook." Crawford has
spent many years researching the
different techniques involved in
playing the older instruments, as
well as the actual construction of
Her involvement with the
Mozart festival is no surprise,
considering her knowledge of his
life and her affinity for his music.
Not only does she concern herself
with the style in which he played
his music, but she owns an original
Mozart piano, an instrument
distinguished from moderns in that
its range is five and one-half
octaves rather than eight. The
construction of the Mozart piano is
also much lighter. "This produces
a clear, bright, colorful sound,"
Today, as a part-time teacher at
the University and the Oberlin
Baroque Performance Institute,
Crawford scarcely finds time to
think about the future, although
she says she would like to begin
expanding her performances to
include pieces of the 19th century
as well. "Because of the historical
function of the forte-piano, most of
the music I play is from the late
18th or early 19th century."'0
Although Crawford mentioned that
she misses playing such greats as
Brahms, she rarely finds limita-
tions in the number of pieces she
can perform. "The period between
the forte-piano (and the subsequent.
rise of the modern piano) spans
approximately 300 years," she,
Crawford is presently content
with her focus in late-18th and
early-19th century music. "I have
no desire to return to the modern
piano and the gymnastics required
to play it," she said.
PENELOPE CRAWFORD will be
performing Sunday at 4 p.m. in the;
Kerrytown Concert House, 415 N.
Fourth Ave. Admission is $10 and
$15. Reservations can be made by
Save the LPI
Daily Arts has a new
Dept., Fine Arts covering
Classical Music and Art
interested in writing for it?
Are You Interested In:
" Working with other students in a residence hall environment?
" Developing a spirit of community within a residence hall?
" Developing and strengthening skills In group leadership and advising?
" Creating programming for a diverse resident population?
* Developing new lifetime skills and talents?
Resident Staff Selection
Thursday, January 17, 7-9 pm
Sunday, January 20, 1-3 pm
Both sessions in MLB Auditorium 3
All new RD, RAIRFIMPA applicants
must attend one of these meetings.
Applications for RAIRFIRDIMPA positions
will be distributed ONLY at these sessions.
For more information contact:
The Residence Education Office
1500 SAB, 763-3161.
ANN ARBOR INSTITUTE BRANCH
914 Hill Street
SUND2AY, Jan. 20:
The Prodigal Son-7-9 p.m.
(Episcopal Church at U-M)
218 N. Division (at Catherine>
Holy Eucharist-5 p.m. at St. Andrew's
Supper-6 p.m. at Canterbury House
The Rev. Virginia Peacock, Ph.D., Chaplain
FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH
AMERICAN BAPTIST CAMPUS CENTER
502 E. Huron
SUN.: Worship-9:55 a.m.
WED.: Supper & fellowship-5:30 p.m.
LUTHERAN CAMPUS MINISTRY
LORD OF LIGHT LUTHERAN CHURCH, ELCA
801 South Forest (at f lilt Street), 668-7622
SUNDAY: Worship-10 a.m.
WEDNESDAY: Worship-7:30 p.m.
Campus Pastor: John Rollefson
ST. MARY'S STUDENT PARISH
(A Roman Catholic Parish at U-M)
331 Thompson Street
SAT.: Weekend Liturgies-5 p.m., and
SUN.:-8:30 a.m., 10 a.m., 12 noon, and 5 p.m.
FRI,: Confessions-4-5 p.m.
WED., Jan. 23: Appalachia Trip
SU. Jan. 27: Town Meeting on
Must be ar rstered UofM studenton the
Ann Arbor campus during period
. of employnent.
RA/RF/RD/MPA Trotter House Staff: Must
have completd mmifimm oftot(etermsorits
equialent and 48 underg ot cmd
hours by endofspnngterm 1991.
Undergraduate appicants must have at least
a 2.50 cuuiewGFA at the time of
appliation. Graduate students must be in
good academics tg at the time
Computer Traers. Head LIbrikmand
GSTA Resident Felows have different
Ass. Rdent Directors
Minority Peer Advisors
ResComp Computer Trainers
Trotter House Staff
(U-M Minority Cultural Cent
GSTA resident Felows
(PVCo e Communt