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April 19, 1991 - Image 8

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1991-04-19
Note:
This is a tabloid page

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Most Overrated

Most Overrated
Professor
Drew Westen
Westen is clearly a born winner.
He's won just about every
conceivable category, but it finally
caught up with him when he won
this negative. After all the build-up
students hear before taking his
courses, Westen must find himself a
tough act to follow.

Most Overrated Course
Psychology 172
For almost 10 years Westen has
taught this course, which will
probably sink back into obscurity
next year after he leaves.
Most Overrated
Narcotic
Marijuana
It's a dumb category, and we got
dumb answers. Sorry to bother you.

cheesy:-
" 'That (article of clothing) looks
good on you, but it would look
better on my bedroom floor."
- "I'd look good on you."
" "Say yes. Everyone else says
no." (A rip-off from Lethal Weapon
H.)
* "If I told you you had a
beautiful body, would you hold it
against me?" (A rip-off from Monty
Python.)
. "I am the stallion; you are the
mare."
. "My place for bong hits?"
" "I love your chin."
Worst Pick-Up Line
"Is that your real eye color,
or do you wear contacts?"
Though there doesn't seem to
be much distinction between entries
for this and the above category, most
students found many old standbys,
such as "They're playing our song,"
to be ineffective. Were there a Most
Unusual category, it would be one
reader's suggestion, "Cup of decaf?"

"

Daily

boneheads and

blo

I

Best Dating Stuff

Best Pick-Up Spot
Rick's
Provided you get past the{
minimum wage-earning thugs with
your fake ID, Rick's promises a good
atmosphere with hip bands, a decent
bar, and loads o' sweaty people in
the limited dance space.
Worst Pick-Up Spot
Best Dancing Spot
Nectarine Ballroom
We think it rather homophobic
that students voted the most
progressive club for gays also the
worst pick-up joint. But maybe
we're underestimating you; perhaps

it's the neon flashing lights and Top
40 DJs you can't deal with. In any
case, the Nec ousted the U-Club,
the Blind Pig, and others as the best
place to jam.
Off-the-wall nominee for Worst
Pick-Up Spot: Planned Parenthood.
Enough said.
Best Pick-Up Line
"Is your father a thief?..."
This continues, "...because he
must have stolen all the stars in the
sky and put them in your eyes."
Pulleeease.
Other entries further confirmed
our notion that Michigan students
are sometimes artful, but more often

KEN SMOLLERN~eekend
Trojan condoms - Ann Arbor's favorite brand. Lifestyles, however, can
acquired for free from the University's Health Service.

~Li

649k0k a
Utai Rgstaurant

jin I
I r-j 01---

1O AsOT ecords
3361/2 S.State
CAnn Arbor761 8686
Records & Tapes Bought - Sold e Traded

Best Rejection Line
"We can still be friends"
This ugly favorite won by a
landslide. Ugh. If you're looking for
other lines for the next slimeball
be who sidles up to you at the bar, try
these dark horse candidates:
" "I don't date men whose penises.
hang right."
" "Fuck off!"
" 'That looks like a penis, only
smaller."
" "Sorry, I'm a lesbian/Sorry, I'm
gay.,
DAVID SCHEFFLER
cut paper portraits

by Christine Kloostra
What time did you say it
was?
Daily sports writer Ken "Father
Time" Sugiura simply lost track of
time when covering the NCAA
men's swimming finals in Texas.
After Sports Editor Matt Rennie
had been waiting anxiously for
hours to receive the long-overdue
story, Sugiura, who had forgotten
about the time difference, called in
his story at 12:50 - a full hour after
the Daily's deadline.
Family recycling laws
LSA Associate Dean Jack
Meiland and his family were
undoubtedly surprised to discover
that Meiland had not only passed a
mandatory recycling ordinance last
fall, but also that it was in a city
named after them. The Meilands,
who do support recycling, were
relieved to find out that the
ordinance had actually been passed
in the town of Milan - not, as we
reported, in Meiland - and that
they didn't have to save those
empty soup cans if they didn't want
to.
What a promotion!
Even more surprised than the
Meiland family was Eunice Royster
Harper, who, upon reading the
Daily, discovered that she had
captured Interim Vice President for
Student Services Mary Ann Swain's
position. Or maybe it was Swain, not.
knowing that she had been fired,
who was more surprised. Seems the
word "associates" in thedpress release
missed the attention of the reporter.
Ever heard of
spelcheck?
Vowing that propaganda would
never appear in the Daily, then-

Opinion Editor David Schwartz
"accidently" spelled the word f
"progaganda" in the headline of an
editorial.
Genital quarrels{
"...I encourage all of you to go to
the next pubic bickering session
between a student protester and
University officials." Apparently
David Schwartz, a Daily columnist,
was assuming that all parties
involved would be naked. Enough
said.
Could we have a
recount?
In th, midst of the Persian Gulft
War, the Daily reported that thet
Michigan Student Assembly, at the
time a bastion of liberalism,
surprisingly defeated a resolutiont
that opposed the War. The
assembly had actually passed the
resolution.
EnAct, Recycle U-M,
Conservative Coalition?'
Campus government
conservatives took on a new
environmental stance when the
Daily, in a mild case of dyslexia,
dubbed the ever-present MSA party
the Conservation Coalition.
John Doe today, Bob
Smith tomorrow
"Many students (on MTS) have
up to ten pseudonyms, most of
which are usually not their real 1
names."

So let's get this straight. Some
pseudonyms defy their definition
and are actually people's real names.
But usually, the pseudonym isn't a
person's real name, but sometimes
changes into the person's real name.
Confused? So are we.
Stay on your own turf
The sports staff just doesn't
seem to have much talent when it
comes to abandoning their usual
domain and creating the annual
Kickoff and Tipoff editions of
Weekend. This fall's Basketball
Tipoff suffered twice. While
planning a lovely centerspread of
the Big Ten basketball teams, those
crazy sports staffers screwed up
when calculating just what pages
that centerspread would be on, and
the story ended up on two
completely different pages. They
narrowly missed another disaster
when they forgot to send four of the
pages of this issue to be printed.
Tragedy was averted when a
dedicated editor-in-chief and news
staffer took these pages to the
printing press in Ypsilanti in the
middle of the night.
Wh not former head of
the nIA?
For those ignorant students out
there, the Daily Opinion Editor
found it necessary to print, below a
letter from President George Bush,
"Bush is the President of the United
States." Duh.
Roget's, anyone?

848 Tappan
610 S..Forest
515 Walnut

The Daily demonstrated its
adeptness with a thesaurus in a
headline for a story which read:
Abortion foes, opponents mark Roe
v. Wade anniversary.
This is not the WWF
Sports writer Josh Dubow
demonstrated his in-depth
knowledge of World Wrestling
Federation rules in his first
Michigan wrestling story. Seems
Dubow assumed the NCAA used
the WWF's rulebook, calling for 3-
second pins.
Daily Bonehead
Awards go to:
" Former Sports Editor Mike "Band

543 Chu

urch
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... ....

April 19, 1991-

WEKEWD

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