te ;1, 1948IiiG P[D~L
CAMPUS COMMENT ON CLAUS:
Call Santa Economist's Nightmnre, Politicians Dream
By ROMA LIP SKY
Although the radios have been
elling us for thespast few weeks
that Santa Ciaus :s comning to
town, students and professors ex-
pressed a variety of opinions as to
the possibility of St. Nick's exis-
tence, and his place on the Uni-
The judicial implications of this
problem are far-reaching and find
their origin in the basic founda-
tions of student government, ac-
cording to EV Ellin, president ofr
Men's Judiciary Council.
"AN EXAMINATION of official
files in the Office of Student Af-
fairs," he said, "has revealed that
Santa Claus is not registered as a
student at the University of Mich-
igan for the fall semester, 1948-49.
"Hence, it is reasoned that
the presence of his signature
upon a petition for candidacy in
any all-campus election would
automatically invalidate said
petition, and, upon certain con-
tingencies, subject the petitioner,
to disciplinary action."
Prof. Gardner Patterson, of the
economics department, was quite
skeptical about the possibility of
a phenomenon such as Santa1
"SUCH a creature would drive
an economist mad," he said, "be-
cause the demand for his services
would always exceed the supply,
and his activities could not be
charted. Since Economists deal
with balanced accounts, they
wouldn't accept this unsolvable
Pat McKenna, president ofl
the League Council, on the
other hand, expressed complete
belief in Santa.
"We are all asking him to bringt
us skis, skates, and toboggans so
we can compete in the winter car-t
nival;" she said.
* * *1
MISS McKENNA has extended
an invitation to Santa asking him
to visit the League, but reminding
him not to go above the first floor.
"We'd hate to have to throw
him out, but we can't make any
exceptions, even for Santa
Claus," she explained.
The philosophical view on the
existence of S. Claus was given by
Prof. Charles Stevenson, who, be-
ing a member of the philosophy1
department, is well qualified to
philosophize on the subject.
"I THINK that Santa exists in
the same way as Kant's 'thing int
itself or Hegel's 'absolute'," he
Christmas spirit has really
overtaken Senior Class President
Val Johnson, who has turned
poetical in' his message to St.
"Dear Santa if you've got the time
Won't you please heed our rhyme?
We know that you are on the hal
So please, St. Nick, do heed our
And help our moms and pops to
That we ain't up here on alspree.
We've worked like mad all
through the year
And now the end is drawing near.
So Santa, help us laught at fate
And make sureswe graduate!"
The letter is signed, "on behalf
of the seniors leaving in February.
PROF. MANFRED Vernon, of
the political science department,
thinks that Santa is well-suited
to the realm of politics.
"Every politician wants more
than he is ready to give," Ver-
non said, "but Santa Claus
would be justifiable in this world
if everyone had a little more of
the spirit of Santa in him."
Norris Domangue, former presi-
dent of the Association of Inde-
pendent Men, agreed that there is
a political side to Santa.
"WHILE the Mundt Committee
investigates the rea," he said, "the
Communists claim Santa is a cap-
italist because his garments are
trimmed with fur, and the Repub-
licans are claiming that he's a
Democrat because he gives things
Student Legislature President
Blair Moody, wearied by a full
term of office, has requested
Santa to bring him a dimen-
sional quantity for Christmas.
"Five feet, five inches, 115, 36,
25, 36," Moody specified.
* * *
ARLETTE Harbour, Assembly
president, has requested an elecric
galvanizer for Christmas which
will "jolt all the lethargic inde-
pendent women into action with
several hundred volts of electrici-
Speaking for the fraternity
men, Bruce Lockwood, 1FC
president, has asked Sant a
Claus for "one-fifth of hypo-
syesge'.oganglia of theosasusme-
taleresal, which will neutralize
all alcoholic vapors and dissolve
ait weinue above the first floor
of f'raternity houasers as the cam-
ps('cop enters the front door on
nights when party permission
has not been obtained."
Pat -lannagan, president of
Women's Judiciary Council, hopes
to combat this by writing a letter
to Santa on official stationery
asking him to give all Michigan
coeds watches with alarms to go
off automatically at 12:15.
HOWEVER, all these requests
are strictly relative to time and
place, according to reports by two
The early American puritans
not only refused to accept the
idea of Santa Claus, they didn't
even celebrate Christmas, re-
ports Prof. Preston Slosson, of
the history department.
Santaididn't become standard-
ized until the poem "The Night
Before Christmas" was written, he
THE ANCIENT Greeks and Ro-
mans would have not considered
Santa a god, but a benevolent
spirit, according to Prof. 0. M.
Pearl, of the classics department.
"Plato would have ruled
Santa out of his ideal state as a
completely unjustifiiable fiction,
Aristotle would have questioned
the advisability of his admit-
tance, but St. Augustine would
have recognized Santa as a kind
of cousin and made the chim-
neys in the City of God wide
enough to accommodate him,"
Prof. Pearl said.
The steadfast Michiganensian
was undaunted by all these com-
ments, and 'Art Manol, managing
editor of the yearbook, expressed
the Christmas wishes of the entire
staff by saying:
'Twas the night before Christ-
When all through the house;
Not one single creature remain-
We hope your stockings will
btuldge with bourbon and
As does the great Ensian of
One Nine Four Nine.
With thoughts of sugarplums
and three short nips,
We wish you all, as did old St.
'A Michiganensian to you all,
and to all a goodnight.'"
IC Will Give
Some 50 children of foreign stu-
dents will be feted and taught
American Yuletide traditions at
the annual Christmas Tree Party
given by the director and staff of
International Center at 2:30 p.m.
Community groups will pitch in
to make this a memorable holi-
day for the people from other
THE JUNIOR Choir of St.
Luke's Episcopal Church, Ypsi-
lanti, will sing the traditional
carols. A Santa Claus provided by
the Junior Chamber of Com-
merce will distribute presents to
Rev. 11. L. Pickerill of the
First Congregational Church
will read Dicken's "Twas the
Night Before Christmas" and
colored movies will be shorn.
An appropriately decorated ta-
ble for the children will be pre-
pared by Mrs. Esson M. Gale, wife
of the director of International
Refreshments will be served to
the parents and children.
'U' Concert: Band
To Perform at Hill
The recently reorganized Uni-
versity Concert Band will hold its
first concert of the year on Jan.
11 in the Hill Auditorium.
Directed by Prof. William D.
Revelli, the Concert Band was re-
formed at the end of the football
season when the Marching Band
was broken up.
Consisting of 107 members, the
band now has the greatest instru-
mentation in its history, according
to Al Taylor, '49BAd., the group's
The Concert Band will give con-
certs in many mid-western cities
during its forthcoming season.
PROF. JACOB VINER
.to speak here
Viner To (;ive
Free enterprise in America and
U.S. economic foreign policy will
be discussed here by Prof. Jacob
Viner of Princeton University's
economics department tomorrow
Prof. Viner will deliver the fifth
and sixth lectures in the econom-
ic department series which brings
distinguished economists to Uni-
PROF. VINER will speak before
the Economics Club at 7:45 p.m.
tomorrow in Rackham Amphi-
theatre on "American Economic
Foreign Policy in a Two-Power
"American Free Enterprise-
Fact, Fiction, Ideal or Evil?"
will be the topic of a general
lecture at 4:15 p.m. Tuesday in
the Rackham Amphitheatre.
Both lectures are open to the
Prof. Viner;s name is already
familiar to Michigan students. His
text books are used in courses in
international economics and he
has lectured here at a summer
Judge Says Holiday
Makes Task Easier
CHICAGO -- UP) - "We ought
to have Christmas once a month."
Judge Joseph Sabath was talk-
ing about reuniting husbands and
wives who have parted. Probably
nobody in the United States has
dealt with more domestic smash-
ups. Some 90,000 couples have
sought divorce in his Cook Coup.-
ty (Chicago) Superior Court in 21
The judge has reconciled 6,000
couples, He finds the task of r
pairing broken marriages is
easier during the Yule season.
THAT'S THE time when
thoughts turn to hearth and
home. The Judge has a reasona-
ble facsimile of each of them in
the chamber next to his court
room. This is how he puts them
to work in, say, the divorce suit
of Kilkenny vs. Kilkenny.
If there still is a smidgin of
love in their life, he takes Mr.
and Mrs. Kilkenny into his
sanctums. There are leather
chairs, a couch, a fireplace
with painted legs and simulated
flames. Vases of flowers, a ra-
dio, cigarettes for the grown-
ups and lollipops for the kids.
In the cozy atmosphere of this
home away from home, the jurist
tries to remove the "vs." that sep-
arates Kilkenny and Kilkenny on1
the legal papers.
"I tell them that in here we
won't use these law books," the
Judge says, waving at shelves of
legal tomes. "So they open up
"I WANT to give people the
benefit of my experience. If I can
bring about one reconciliation a
day I am very happy."
Judge Sabath, 78 and silver
haired, has an air of sympathetic
understanding that seems to in-
vite folks to "open up their
Good. old-fashioned "bull ses-
sions" are being held weekly by
small groups of freshmen uinder
the guidance of the sociology and
The groups exchange ideas on
every concievable subject, ranging
from dates to the international
situation. A faculty member sits
in on the sessions.
ITS ALL part of new, volun-
tary non -credit; program called
the Exploration Groups. Or just
plain X groups for short.
The X groups were set up to
combat evils which have come
about as a result of the Universi-
ty s vast increase in size. They
hope to narrow the gap between
fellow students and between stu-
dents and the faculty.
At the same time the bull
sessions add specific knowledge
to students taking part. They
get factual information from
Freshmen Exchange Ideas
In lufornial 'Bull Sessions'
faculty leaders l and conflicting
viewpoints from their fellow
There are ten such groups on
campus and each includes about
ten students. Here's how they
SAY ONE of the members has
anonymously expressed a desire
that some specific problem be dis-
cussed by the group. The leader
presents the problem.
Then members toss out sugges-
tions and possible solutions to
the problem. In this way the
student gets a better under-
standing of his particular diffi-
If a problem comes up which
requires specialized knowledge the
group has a way of meeting it.
They call in an outside expert for
an informative talk and then ply
him with questions.
Attention Chess Plyr
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