Hold Heavenly Hobby
Famous Knitters To Unravel
Paradoxical Purling Problems
At Big Exciting Mass Meeting
Girls, don't forget the big hobby
}mass meeting to be held in the old
ball park by the Island at 11:45 p.m.
today. "The turnout last week was
so hedvenly it was decided to hold
regular weekly mass meetings," Etta
Shrdlu, '46 Med., President of the
"Hobby Homemakers," who decides
on -what the program will be, said.
Several of the more talented mem-
bers, who are already very good at
their chosen hobbies, will show us
other clumsy things just how to
make the most of a hobby. Just
sample hobbies that will be demon-
strated will be these: The Hirosuki
twins will show us how they have
brought mass production into their
hobby. /They each cut one leg of
Little Old Candied Yams
It is to laugh.
As a matter of fact, many were the twisted grins over at old Doc Ruth-
ven's just a fortnight ago with the good old Tenderleaf flowing like water.
In fact, there was some talk that it was water. But we feel that it would
be wrong to accuse the wily old prexy of any such nefarious doings.
Present were accredited representatives of all them campus organiza-
tions you hear about. Like WAA, JGP, YCL, ASU, WPA, IFC, UFO (United
Farmers of Ontario), PACI, IWW, the Women's League, Anti-Saloon League,
Epworth League and West Texas-New Mexico League. Everybody was drunk.
Guests of honor were Mole and this week's campus
princess, Tomato (Good Try) McGonigle. Pressed for
comment on the manner in which he secured such a rav-
ishingly beautiful beetle for l'affaire Ruthven, Mdle said,
in clear stentorian tones, "Mole stay in school. Learn
trade. After war, Mole help rebuild. Mole's hands big
Mute T estimtony g
Oh, happy day! A fan letter in today's mail. But
good. It goes like this :
I think your column is fine. I read it avidly every
day. Don't pay no heed'to them jokers who tell you
it stinks. Because it don't. I would make the long trek
to the Student Publications Building to congratulate
you personally but my damn folks won't let me down
out of the attic.
Keep up the good work,
'One candid camera and half a
roll of super.panchromatic film.,
Must leave country immediately.
Willing to take loss.
V's for Victory, and do them up
ravishingly in red twill stripeyed over
with white burlap interlaced with
blue carpetbagging. Wait till you
The highlight of the evening will
be Sarah Heaslip's knitting demon-
stration. Since it is absolutely im-
possible to get no. 1 or no. 2 needles
any more since the recent "Knit A
Blanket For Your Horse" campaign
has swept the country like wildfire,
Miss Heaslip is going to show us
how she knits the most exquisite
creations using a pair of chopsticks
as needles. We'll give you just ;a
teeny clue in advance' as to why Sar-
ah is such a nifty knitter.
So don't forget, girls. Tonight, at
11:45. And bring your hobbies along!
Amusin' But Confusin'
Confusion is the keyword over at
'the League these blustery days, girls.
By somekhorrible mistake the excit-
ing "Coke Bars" and the "glamor-
ous date bureaus" have been sched-
uled at the same time. And this is
so distressing, girls, because League
points have been awarded for both.
YOU CAN BUY
FOR AS LITTLE AS
205 E. Liberty t. Phone 3675'
Pressed for comment, Oosterbaan could only reply, "The United Farm-
ers of Ontario is a bona fide political party."
Mute T estiony...
Along State Street, there is a certain cesspool of student iniquity where
Phi Psis, Dekes, Alpha Delts and all them other frat men hang out. It's
terrible. You ought to see them standing around, leaning agaipist potted
palms, twi'ling their watch chains, and all that sort of ridiculous guff. We
hate it. We eat all our meals there and sometimes we drop in for a marsh-
mallow coke and a hand of bridge.
Other day, one of them frat men tried to pick us up. Spoke to us, just
as if we'd been formally introduced. "Watch the hell out where you're
walkin', sister," he said. We cut him dead. We hate all them kind of
Mute Testimony ..e
Currentlyappearing at the Avenue Theatre, a legitimate playhouse
located in a nearby city, is "East Lynne," combination melodrama and
musical extravaganza, starring Tessie McNekkid, delightful danseuse. Miss
McNekkid gives an inspired performance . . . inspired by the thought of
three square meals a day . . . and that last spot she played . . . the South
Side Elks Club in Passaic. Pressed for comment, Tessie could only say,
"Tessie no stay in school. No learn trade. This result."
Roberta Advises Puzzled Lassie
To Play Two Lads For Suckers
This morning as I was opening my
mail, I ran across a very pathetic note"
from one who signs herself "A Girl
Torn Between Two Fires and Hoping.
For a Third." Gals, I know that you;
too might be in this situation.
The letter read: Dear Roberta, I am
a senior at Lady Milrose's Private
School for Youig Ladies. As I near
graduation, I still haven't found THE'
MAN for myself. I'm afraid that these
four years will be wasted. However,J
I have met the sweetest boy who plays
football at a nearby college.
The Perfect Mate'?
At the same college is a arm-bent
engineer. Though he doesn't have
the looks of Wilber (that's the ath-
lete) he does everything for me that
I want. Neither of these fellows real-
ly fill the bill, but do you think I
should marry one of them or wait for
the perfect mate? Remember, I don't
want to be left out in the cold. I
Well, sister, you have got quite a
Buy or men
in Ann Arbor
BETTER STYLE - BETTER QUALITY
AT VERY REASONABLE PRICES.A
STATE STREET AT LIBERTY
case there. But don't worry. Keep
playing themboth for suckers. What
the hell, men are just like streetcars.
There'll be another along in a minute.
However, if you think that you have
wasted your four years in school,
maybe you should be worried.
Pet Me, Honey
Another letter that reached my
desk was from an eighteen-year-old
girl who asked whether she should
pet with her "steady." She stated that
she was inclined to believe that "he
only goes with me because he' likes
the petting and not me."' To this
poor innocent thing any advice is that
she is probably right. You have to
be careful girls. Don't let them pull
the wool over your eyes.
If you're having love trouble or if
your old man doesn't see things your
way, babe, write Roberta and let me
help you get your lover. I'll be back
tomorrow with more heart problems.
The person who writes in the best
letter to Roberta will receive 1000
extra League points. Get busy, girls,
and write Roberta.
It's Flannel Skirts
For AllH igh Class,
Gay Young Ladies
To the babes who want to be the
neatest little package where ever
they stick their puss, a bunch of
people say, flannel package skirts are
the things to hang around their mid-
Like all the time ,white is plenty
popular, but it ain't practical because
it gets dirty to all of a sudden.
A lots of the women say pastels or
dark colors flatter those that ain't
got petite figures, but who are they
to say. Don't pay any attention and
wear the kind of flannel skirts that's
in the closet and you will be like all
high class people.
One of the amain attractions of
flannel skirts is that it don't catch
fuzz. Of course if you wear navy
blue like the sailors, you ain't using
There is nothing in this
world that will please a
man more than a gift of
If he is a pipe smoker he f:.
will always be looking for
place to put his pipes.
Calkins - Fletcher has a
large selection of pipe holders and combination pipe holders apd
humidors. Come in and look around in our smokers' department.
A PIPE, for a pipe smok-
er, is a gift h'e would
choose himself, if he were
to pick his own gift. An
addition to his collection
is always welcome because
it provides a cooler and a 4
more pleasant smoke. We
have a complete selection
of Sasieni, Dunhill, Kay.
woodie, and Xirsten pipes.
And for the cigar and cigarette smoker, what could be better than
a gift box of his favorate smoke. Whatever it is, CALKINS-
FLETCHER has it.
- A tobacco department that can't be beat for completeness -
Let us help you with your gift problems.
IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!