'Hobby Homemakers Hold Heavenly Hobby , _._._ 8 Sarah Heaslip Will Describe Chopstick Style Famous Knitters To Unravel Paradoxical Purling Problems At Big Exciting Mass Meeting Girls, don't forget the big hobby }mass meeting to be held in the old ball park by the Island at 11:45 p.m. today. "The turnout last week was so hedvenly it was decided to hold regular weekly mass meetings," Etta Shrdlu, '46 Med., President of the "Hobby Homemakers," who decides on -what the program will be, said. Several of the more talented mem- bers, who are already very good at their chosen hobbies, will show us other clumsy things just how to make the most of a hobby. Just sample hobbies that will be demon- strated will be these: The Hirosuki twins will show us how they have brought mass production into their hobby. /They each cut one leg of Si/~d Mar Little Old Candied Yams It is to laugh. As a matter of fact, many were the twisted grins over at old Doc Ruth- ven's just a fortnight ago with the good old Tenderleaf flowing like water. In fact, there was some talk that it was water. But we feel that it would be wrong to accuse the wily old prexy of any such nefarious doings. Present were accredited representatives of all them campus organiza- tions you hear about. Like WAA, JGP, YCL, ASU, WPA, IFC, UFO (United Farmers of Ontario), PACI, IWW, the Women's League, Anti-Saloon League, Epworth League and West Texas-New Mexico League. Everybody was drunk. The Author Guests of honor were Mole and this week's campus princess, Tomato (Good Try) McGonigle. Pressed for comment on the manner in which he secured such a rav- ishingly beautiful beetle for l'affaire Ruthven, Mdle said, in clear stentorian tones, "Mole stay in school. Learn trade. After war, Mole help rebuild. Mole's hands big and strong." Mute T estimtony g Oh, happy day! A fan letter in today's mail. But good. It goes like this : Dear Mary, I think your column is fine. I read it avidly every day. Don't pay no heed'to them jokers who tell you it stinks. Because it don't. I would make the long trek to the Student Publications Building to congratulate you personally but my damn folks won't let me down out of the attic. Keep up the good work, Abelard Glumpff FOR SALE 'One candid camera and half a roll of super.panchromatic film., Must leave country immediately. Willing to take loss. BENJO YOSHIWARA V's for Victory, and do them up ravishingly in red twill stripeyed over with white burlap interlaced with blue carpetbagging. Wait till you see them! The highlight of the evening will be Sarah Heaslip's knitting demon- stration. Since it is absolutely im- possible to get no. 1 or no. 2 needles any more since the recent "Knit A Blanket For Your Horse" campaign has swept the country like wildfire, Miss Heaslip is going to show us how she knits the most exquisite creations using a pair of chopsticks as needles. We'll give you just ;a teeny clue in advance' as to why Sar- ah is such a nifty knitter. So don't forget, girls. Tonight, at 11:45. And bring your hobbies along! Amusin' But Confusin' Confusion is the keyword over at 'the League these blustery days, girls. By somekhorrible mistake the excit- ing "Coke Bars" and the "glamor- ous date bureaus" have been sched- uled at the same time. And this is so distressing, girls, because League points have been awarded for both. YOU CAN BUY A GENUINE STROMBERG CAIRLSON RADIO-PHONOGRAPH FOR AS LITTLE AS 4255 at I/h musicSHOP 205 E. Liberty t. Phone 3675' Mute Testimony. Pressed for comment, Oosterbaan could only reply, "The United Farm- ers of Ontario is a bona fide political party." Mute T estiony... Along State Street, there is a certain cesspool of student iniquity where Phi Psis, Dekes, Alpha Delts and all them other frat men hang out. It's terrible. You ought to see them standing around, leaning agaipist potted palms, twi'ling their watch chains, and all that sort of ridiculous guff. We hate it. We eat all our meals there and sometimes we drop in for a marsh- mallow coke and a hand of bridge. Other day, one of them frat men tried to pick us up. Spoke to us, just as if we'd been formally introduced. "Watch the hell out where you're walkin', sister," he said. We cut him dead. We hate all them kind of fellows. Mute Testimony ..e Currentlyappearing at the Avenue Theatre, a legitimate playhouse located in a nearby city, is "East Lynne," combination melodrama and musical extravaganza, starring Tessie McNekkid, delightful danseuse. Miss McNekkid gives an inspired performance . . . inspired by the thought of three square meals a day . . . and that last spot she played . . . the South Side Elks Club in Passaic. Pressed for comment, Tessie could only say, "Tessie no stay in school. No learn trade. This result." Roberta Advises Puzzled Lassie 11 To Play Two Lads For Suckers By ROBERTA This morning as I was opening my mail, I ran across a very pathetic note" from one who signs herself "A Girl Torn Between Two Fires and Hoping. For a Third." Gals, I know that you; too might be in this situation. The letter read: Dear Roberta, I am a senior at Lady Milrose's Private School for Youig Ladies. As I near graduation, I still haven't found THE' MAN for myself. I'm afraid that these four years will be wasted. However,J I have met the sweetest boy who plays football at a nearby college. The Perfect Mate'? At the same college is a arm-bent engineer. Though he doesn't have the looks of Wilber (that's the ath- lete) he does everything for me that I want. Neither of these fellows real- ly fill the bill, but do you think I should marry one of them or wait for the perfect mate? Remember, I don't want to be left out in the cold. I Well, sister, you have got quite a pf9 Buy or men in Ann Arbor BETTER STYLE - BETTER QUALITY AT VERY REASONABLE PRICES.A SINCE184,148. STATE STREET AT LIBERTY case there. But don't worry. Keep playing themboth for suckers. What the hell, men are just like streetcars. There'll be another along in a minute. However, if you think that you have wasted your four years in school, maybe you should be worried. Pet Me, Honey Another letter that reached my desk was from an eighteen-year-old girl who asked whether she should pet with her "steady." She stated that she was inclined to believe that "he only goes with me because he' likes the petting and not me."' To this poor innocent thing any advice is that she is probably right. You have to be careful girls. Don't let them pull the wool over your eyes. If you're having love trouble or if your old man doesn't see things your way, babe, write Roberta and let me help you get your lover. I'll be back tomorrow with more heart problems. The person who writes in the best letter to Roberta will receive 1000 extra League points. Get busy, girls, and write Roberta. It's Flannel Skirts For AllH igh Class, Gay Young Ladies To the babes who want to be the neatest little package where ever they stick their puss, a bunch of people say, flannel package skirts are the things to hang around their mid- ribs. Like all the time ,white is plenty popular, but it ain't practical because it gets dirty to all of a sudden. A lots of the women say pastels or dark colors flatter those that ain't got petite figures, but who are they to say. Don't pay any attention and wear the kind of flannel skirts that's in the closet and you will be like all high class people. One of the amain attractions of flannel skirts is that it don't catch fuzz. Of course if you wear navy blue like the sailors, you ain't using your head. There is nothing in this world that will please a man more than a gift of SMOKING SUPPLIES. If he is a pipe smoker he f:. will always be looking for place to put his pipes. Calkins - Fletcher has a large selection of pipe holders and combination pipe holders apd humidors. Come in and look around in our smokers' department. A PIPE, for a pipe smok- er, is a gift h'e would choose himself, if he were to pick his own gift. An addition to his collection is always welcome because it provides a cooler and a 4 more pleasant smoke. We have a complete selection of Sasieni, Dunhill, Kay. woodie, and Xirsten pipes. And for the cigar and cigarette smoker, what could be better than a gift box of his favorate smoke. Whatever it is, CALKINS- FLETCHER has it. - A tobacco department that can't be beat for completeness - Let us help you with your gift problems. IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!