THE MICHIGAN DAILY
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1934
. ,a . .. .
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Published every morning except Monday during the
University year and Summer Session - by the Board in
Controli"of 'St~udent Publications.
Member of the Western Conference Editorial Association
and the Big Ten News Service.
Associated ( Ifginte MS55
1934 1 4nigg j 35
--EMBER, OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
The, Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use
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Offices: Student Publications Building, Maynard Street,
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West 42nd Street, New York, N.Y. - 400 N. Michigan Ave.,
MANAGING EDITOR ............WILLIAM G. FERRIS
CITY EDITOR......... ..JOHN HEALEY
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR..........RALPH G. COULTER
SPORTS EDITOR ................... ARTHUR CARSTENS
WOMEN'S EDITOR .....................ELEANOR BLUM
NIGHT EDITORS: Paul JH Elliott, John J. Flaherty, Thomas
E. -Groehh, Thomas H. Kleene, David G. Macdonald,
John M. O'Connell, Robert S. Ruwitch, Arthur M. Taub.
SPORTS ASSISTANTS: Marjorie Western, Joel Newman,
Kenneth Parker, William Reed, Arthur Settle.
WOMEN'S ASSISTANTS: Barbara L. Bates, Dorothy Gies,
Florence Harper, Eleanor Johnson, Ruth Loebs, Jo-
sephine McLean, Margaret D. Phalan, Rosalie Resnick,
Jane Schneider, Marie Murphy.
REPORTERS: John H. Batdorff, Robert B. Brown, Richard
Clark, Clinton B. Conger, Sheldon M. Ellis, William H.
Fleming, Robert J. Freehling, Sherwin Gaines, Richard
Hershey, Ralph W. Hurd, Jack Mitchell, Fred W. Neal,
Melvin C. Oathout, Robert Pulver, Lloyd S. Reich, Mar-
shall Shulman, Donald Smith, Bernard Weiseman, Jacob
C. Seidel, Bernard Levick, George Andros, Fred Buesser,
Robert Cummins, Fred DeLano, Robert J. Friedman,
Raymond Goodman, Morton Mann.
Dorothy Briscoe, Maryanna Chockly, Florence Davies,
Helen Diefendorf, Marian Donaldson, Elaine Goldberg,
Betty Goldstein~ Olive Griffith, Harriet Hathaway, Ma-
rion Holden, Lois King, Selma Levin, Elizabeth Miller,
Melba Morrison, Elsie Pierce, Charlotte Reuger. Dorothy
Shappell, Molly Solomon. Dorothy Vale, Laura Wino-
grad, Jewel Wuerfel.
BUSINESS MANAGER..............RUSSELL B. READ
CREDIT MANAGER...........ROBERT S. WARD
WOMEN'S BUSINESS MANAGER........JANE BASSETT
EPARTMENT MANAGERS: Local Advertising, John Og-
)Ien; Service Department, Bernard Rosenthal; Contracts,
Joseph Rothbard; Accounts, Cameron Hall; Circulation
and National Advertising, David Winkworth; Classified
Advertising and Publications, George Atherton.
"USINESS ASSISTANTS: William Jackson. William
Barndt, Ted Wohigemuith, Lyman Bittman, John Park,
F. Allen Upson, Willis Tomlinson, Homer Lathrop, Tom
Clarke, Gordon Cohn Merrell Jordan, Stanley Joffe,
> Richard E. Chaddock.
WOMEN'S ASSISTANTS: Mary Bursley, Margaret Cowie,
Marjorie Turner, Betty CaVender, Betty Greve, Helen
Shapland, Betty Simonds, Grace Snyder, Margaretta
Kohlig, Ruth Clarke, Edith Hamilton, Ruth Dicke,
Paula Joerger, Mary Lou Hooker, Jane Heath, Bernar-
dine Field. Betty Bowman, July. Trosper, Marjorie
Langenderfer, Geraldine Lehman, Betty Woodworth.
NIGHT EDITOR: PAUL J. ELLIOTT
Presidential Fetes ...
P ,ESIDENT ROOSEVELT recently
P announced his willingness to again
permit his birthday next January to be observed
nationally by birthday balls throughout the coun-
try for the purpose of raising funds to provide aid
for victims of infantile paralysis.
The work being carried on by committees spon-
soring this drive is a great one and deserves nothing
but commendation. Any movement to aid in the
conquering of disease is meritorious.
However, by using the power and prestige of his
office, coupled with his tremendous personal pop-
ularity, the President has laid himself open to crit-
icism because, by allowing his birthday to be used
in one cause, he has, in a manner obscured equally
meritorious projects for the care and cure of
other important diseases.
It was probably perfectly all right, for the pro-
ceeds of last year's birthday balls to be used solely
for =the setting up of foundations for infantile
paralysis cure. However, if the balls are going to
be continued this year and for the remaining years
of the present administration, it would seem more
in keeping with the usual broad-minded and far-
seeing policy of the President, to apportion out
the money collected among the two or three other
major diseases, for research and direct relief
purposes. Over a million dollars was gathered from
these balls last year and it all went for the aid of
Every public mali should know that no distinc-
tion can be made between his acts as an official
and those as a private citizen. This has always
been unfortunate but true. President Roosevelt's
birthday is no longer a private event, and he
should avoid using it as a means to further any
single cause in which he is personally interested,
however worthy that cause may be.
As Others See It
ROUGH WEAVE SUITS of bath mat material
. . . . underslung pipes and oil-skin pouches
... yellowish stripes of new sprung grass healing
scuffed scars of spring's footpaths . . . flagless bent
pole arching toward heavy cloud blankets . .
squashed, tobacco-spewing cigarets on white tile
wash room floors . . . "the best ideas a teacher
gets are those coming from his students" . . .
deep slumbrous comfort of the auditorium depths
.. ."our entrance into the war to make the World
safe for democracy indicated that democracy
is not yet safe for the world" . .,. "The University
must not be made a political football" ... profes-
sorial collar points upcurled over blue ties with
large knots . . . generalizing instructor, body
weight on tabled finger tips, Phi Beta Kappa
key swinging free of abdomen . . . "this university
is money minded" .. .
"Yes, but he's so-so-practical" . . . Varsity ath-
letes engaged in self-conscious sidewalk horse-play
... red-haired girls with orange rouge and orange
fingernails. . . . "None of the ideas expressed on
this program are to be construed as official state-
ments of the University" . . . co-eds limping over
lost heel . .. jacketed freshmen in yellow corduroy
carrying lunches in brown wrapping paper...,well-
brushed fraternity head slumped with sleep on arm
of green leather divan . . . blackboard chalk
screeches and dimpled face whitens . . . bare
branches rub shadowless against rough-cut build-
ing stone ... dormitory men, near nudeness, study-
ing by green, goose-neck study lamps .. .
"You can not divorce pleasure from the esthetic
point of view" . . . earnest, radical female students
seeking signatures for petition in protest of com-
munist book store raid . . . "lemme have your
notes for Friday" . . . "what's her girl friend look
like?" . . . child laborers hawking popular mag-
azines . . . long streams of inhaled smoke from
co-ed nostrils envelop tea room salads . . . curved
orange lips close daintily over messy chocolate
sweetness . . . "this fraternity tries to stress schol-
arship as well as activities" . . . "how the devil can
he tell whether my answer to a philosophy problem
is worth 13 or 14 points?" . . . crisp October leaves
scuttering into soft wet mud . . . hair braids en-
circling brown co-ed heads in halo fashion . . .
"she ain't quite tall enough for me" ... lights go on
in dim book-cluttering professors' offices . . .
football men helmets in hands, limp toward lock-
ers . . . student copyreaders bend coatless over
-The Minnesota Daily.
By BUD BERNARD
Last summer the University of Kansas organized
a bus-school to take students on an educational
tour of the country. To keep students from wander-
ing too far from their studies, they were required
to take regular class-work en route. One of the
students who believed in pleasure before study
was threatened with a failure in American history
if he didn't make up his back work before the
class reached Winnemuca, Nevada. The case looked
hopeless for a time but fortunately the bus burned
out a bearing, and by the time they reached the
deadline city he was well ahead of his work.
A student by the name of Sherman Finger is
making a name for himself at the University
of Minnesota in the field of track. His fame
has spread wide and far, and finally they heard
all about him at Alabama Polytech, with the
result that they invited him to become their
"I would be dubious about my standing in
the South with my name," was his refusal.
"Mister," came the reply, "just march
through Georgia, that's all we ask - just
march through Georgia."
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Alabama and Georgia
are bitter football rivals).
The history professors are up in arms again.
They labored for a quarter-century to put the
writing of history, especially Amercan history, on
the basis of fact analysis, and now they find
themselves being encroached upon by writers who
cast their 'history inte literary molds. One of the
protesting historians suggests a code of fair prac-
tices for vendors of literary history. Campaigning
for an NRA code for "thinking beautifully about
America," he asserts: "Like canned ham, it should
be labeled 'literature' and not 'history.'"
It's old and it's trite, we will admit, but we
still think it reads good: A college professor
was addressing the student body at the opening
convocation of the year. Said he:
"I'm delighted to observe that the number
of shining faces in front of me this fall is
greater than last year."
Continuing with a text from the Bible, he
quoted: "Oh, how they increaseth, that
* 'I, *
You've read about them, you've listened to
them, but you really have never been able to do
much about them. The old jokes filed in the
library-brain of the college professor we mean.
But things have been done about them at the
University of Wisconsin. The quips of one famous
lecturer were repeated by him so many times that
his library was no longer a private one. During
one lecture, however, he forgot one of his quips
- and the class woke up with a bang!
After the class period closed, a committee of
students waited upon the offenider and presented
to him a memorandum which ran somewhat as
follows: "We beg to inform you that you have
committed a great error in omitting one of your
prize jokes from your lecture this hour. The class
is deeply hurt by your slighting them, and re-
quests an apology."
A philosophy professor at Ohio State Uni-
versity yearly recreates his "regular" pun in
this manner. After passing out the papers for
his final examination, he sits back and slyly
waits for some nervous co-ed to touch a powder
puff to her nose. Then, all haughtiness, he
arises, bends an accusing finger, and drily
"Young woman, this is not a make-up exam-
* * * *
Women students at Boston University have been
requested to keep away from members of the school
football team during the week by the football
coach. He says that the players have enough to
attend to practice sessions and classes without
dating co-eds. Saturday night was made the one
prese..ti* . . * kavelin and
his book cadillac orchestra
... pan hellenic balII nov. 30..
friday 9:139-1:30 ... micigan
league tiekets .3.50
New and Very Much Worthwhile
Chaucer: Canterbury Tales (Modern
English Translation) Illustrated by
Lomax: American Ballads and Folk Songs 5.00
Hellinger: The Ten Million 2.50
Bergman: Just Fishing..............5.00
Erskine: Broncho Charlie 3.00
Zaharoff: The Mystery Man of Europe 3.00
Wells: Experiment in Autobiography 3.00
Hans Fallada: The World Outside. 2.50
Van Doran: Modern American Prose 2.75
Belloc: A Shorter History of England .-3.00
Frank: America's Hour of Decision....
Lockhard: Retreat from Glory........
Hillquit: Loose Leaves from a Busy Life
Baker: Twelve Centuries of Rome.... .
Haggard: The Doctor in History..... .
Garland: Afternoon -Neighbors .... . . .
Howe: Chester A. Arthur ..........
Fowler: Father Goose - a Story of
M ack Sennett ................
Moffatt: He and She ...............
Jeans: Through Space and Time.....
Wells, Carveth: Exploring the World...
But Not Teachers...
Special Price To Reading Clubs -at
S IZING UP THE COLLEGE per-
spective recently, the Duke Chron-
icle arrived at the conclusion that faculty members
in American schools are doing their work as well
as men in most professions, if not better.
That may all be very true and most gratifying,
but before it produces an "all's right with the
world" feeling with many people it ought to be
looked into a little more critically.
The world's work has long been done by spe-
cialists, but certain fields have been far slower than .
others to close their portals to persons who are
not particularly qualified for service in them.
Teaching has been one of the most conspicuous of
the latter group.
It is certainly not true that any dunderhead can
become a teacher, for in all fairness, most teachers,
especially in the higher education brackets, are
unusually intelligent men. Almost without excep-
tion they are unquestioned authorities in their re-
spective lines of interest. Constant study and
thorough devotion mark their entire lives. Usually
they believe in and preach a fine idealism.
All these sterling attributes are important to,
but do not make, a good teacher. All the knowledge
of the ages, all the idealism and devotion imag-
inable are as nothing if they are not imparted
to many of the 9,000 or more young men and
women who come here each year to receive an
education. And it is in sharing what they have
to offer with the students who are anxious to
receive it, that many of our faculty men fail
miserably or succeed but poorly.
A good football player does not always make
a good coach. All teaching is the same. The coach
has got to be able to size-up his squad, point
out and help correct the weaknesses of individuals,
even inspire the team to extra efforts for the sake
of the game. The professor ought to be able to
understand his class, know .ow to approach it and
how to get his message across, even inspire its
members to a love of learning when they are falter-
The professor who looks out over his lecture sec-
tion and sees scattered precincts missing or unre-
sponsiveness, attributes it to the rigors of under-
graduate life, and decides that a new law will,
have to be written against cutting class. He will
be the last one to blame his own tedious speeches
or the dull lethargy of the course for the empty
-rPAlh- cf i~nof-* vil rncme hre determined tn
Off The Record
WITH SOME OF THE fraternities becoming
TV antagonistic toward Hell Week, and others
vowing that they are going to materially modify
the torture session, our suggestion is that the right
wing change the name to Heck Week.
The popular trend at present seems to be toward
humanitarianism in the treatment of freshmen.
Boys who come to school expecting to be made
men, will now have to join the army. Good-inten-
tioned young men who fall by the wayside will
find only a harsh word and a stern glance awaiting
them at the house. And withal, college has lost
its last claim to a colorful life for a young adven-
But probably it is a good thing that Hell Week
is going. Now that fraternities are submitting to
rushing rules patterned after the sororities', they
might just as well pattern their initiations after
them, too. Perhaps it will be even more fun to
send the freshmen to class in formal dresses and
cotton stockings than it was to clothe them in
sacks and beat them with barrel staves.
As far as we can see, the only further reform
that this campus and its fraternities need is late
permission rules for men. When the day comes that
brothers have to sign out to go to the library
By SIGRID ARNE
CARDINAL O'CONNELL of Boston was receiving
at Catholic University here after accepting
academic honors to commemorate his golden ju-
bilee in the church.
He saw Mrs. Robert Whitney Imbrie coming
down the line in a silver cloth dress. When she
was opposite him, he frowned severely and whis-
pered, "What's the idea of wearing a silver dress
to my golden jubilee?"
Looking very innocent, Mrs. Imbrie retorted,
"You're a little behind the times, Your Excellency.
All the rest of us have gone off the gold stand-
White-haired Representative Florence P.
Kahn of California heard rumors during the
campaign that her opponents were saying she
was too old to return to Washington. She
took the bull by the horns in a speech.
"I hear some are saying I'm too old," she
said. "I certainly hope that doesn't get back to
Mrs. Kahn was re-elected.
* * *
SECRETARY PERKINS is one of the few Wash-
ington lights with whom wiseacres exchange
very few cracks.
But one day she arrived at the White House
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