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February 06, 1921 - Image 9

Resource type:
The Michigan Daily, 1921-02-06

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1 gan. :43ttiiu



Campus Tried And
Is Found Quilty
Of Superfciality
(By Sturn Stuart)
Now and then the Supplement, acting under what Mencken terms the
;'messianic delusion," attacks society, the campus, student affairs, or some
other such grandiose institution for the purposes of reformation. Sometimes
the institutions which thus come under the caustic tongue, or more strictly,
typewriter, of the critic, are properly impressed and sincerely vow to act
upon the suggestions made-more often they smile knowingly and label the
stuff as "bunk."
In following up the campaign of finding out whether the Campus is
really asleep or only "playing 'possum," consider this question: Just how
much of our lives in this hyperbolic civilization, which is our constant boast,



s G
todern Qirl
Takes Place
In New World
(By Elizabeth Vickery)
For approximately fifty years it has{
been deemed proper and even logical
that woman should complete her edu-
cation in coeducational colleges and
universities. During this period, how-
ever, her position in the world has
been greatly changed.
- Formerly a girl went to a boarding]
school, after which she made her de-
but into her social circles, and was a
candidate for immediate marriage. If
she and her parents or guardians
were unsuccessful in .their nupitial
campaign, she became the confirmed
maiden lady who kept a private'
school, or who spent all her surplus
time and efforts in the interest of
prohibition. Since she was unmar-
ried her life was wasted. She did not
know how to become an influential
factor in the.world.
lnter the Lady Medic
The woman who first graduated
from universities entered either the
teaching or the medical profession.
At that time an unusual demand for
feminine physicians was noticed. That.
type of woman came to the University
with set purposes-not for a desire
of mere culture.She wished either to
teach or to become a physician~.
Slowly but certainly with the'
changing curriculums and with the.
realization of woman that she can en-
ter many Selds of work, the new col-
lege . graduate has developed. With
ever increasing opportunity to con-
tinue her education woman is more
and more taking advantage of the
privilege to obtain a diploma.
She nds innumerable positions at
her command. The recent war has
given her many a chance in the bus-
iness world which had, otherwise been
denied. her. Her immediate purpose
after graduation is not necessarily
Specialization helps
If she has specialized in sociology
social service workers are in"great
demand. Many times she has fitted
herself to enter the heretofore sanc-
tuary of man by taking many courses
in economics. She has the choice of
studying law, medicine, surgery, den-
tistry, chemistry, and even architec-
ture and engineering. The college
woman is rapidly showing herself
competent in all these lines. She is
making a niche for herself in all the
different types of the world's work,
where she will not soon be forgotten.
With very few professions and lines
of trade unentered by the woman of
today, we wonder what her next step
will be.

is devoted sincerely to advancing our-
selves intellectually, and how much of
it is given over to nothing more than
frivolous consideration of things which
should hold for us no more than a
passing interest.
The question is an interesting one,
and doubtless really worthy of some
sincere thought if the campus wishes
to give up its valuable time in a dis-
cussion of the problem which it calls
up. Consider, for a moment, the
amount of time which is daily spent
by both men and women in "doping"
the uniform of the day. If the "doper"
is a girl, it is, what waist shall it be;
which skirt goes best with my new
brown shoe laces, or other such irre-
levant questions. If it be a man, he
needs must spend precious moments in
a consideration of the day's collar, the
choice of tie, or whether he deems it
advisable after mature reflection to
wear a polo shirt or don the more con-
servative stiff collar.
Considering Dress
Funny, isn't it? Yet it's true. Stop
and think, just for a minute-what did
you do this morning? Got up for your
9 o'clock, maybe, with plenty of time
to spare, but were late just because
you couldn't get dressed quickly'
enough, or because you couldn't decide
whether or not you were correctly
dressed for the day's classes.
But clothes are only the outward
manifestation of the ridiculous, the
frivolous part of the day's thinking.
This is .not an advocation of slovenly
appearance-there is nothing which is
commendable more than neatness of
dress, but what should be censured is
the waste of valuable time, spent in
wavering between the choice of a
black necktie dotted with white or a
dark blue tie splashed with grey.
The error is not in the act itself-
it is is the fact that this act is con-
sidered paramount in the business of
the day. "Clothes do not make the
man, but after he is made, he looks
well dressed up" is a more or less
modern turn of an old proverb, and it
is, in the main, the principle which
shouldi be followed in dressing-
clothes should be thought of, but only
incidentally, not as a life and death
There is considerable talk about
clothes in the above lines, but isn't
the present attitude towards the sub-
ject symbolical of the attitude adopted
by society today towards its life in
general? Are we, after all, living in
the super-civilized age which we some-
times like to boast of?
What Is the Matter?
It all reverts back again to the ques-
tion of what's the matter with Michi-
gan today, and to some of the answers
which were received in reply to the
question. Michigan loses at least some
of its functions as a real live univer-
sity because its students do not at-
tempt to educate themselves outside of
the actual scope of the courses which
(Continued on Page Four)

Welcome Dean! Bottoms Up!
($y H. L. V.)CBefore long you midnight prowlers,
In ,this wave of reformations, Fussers, Elmerites, night owlers,
Wars against inebriations, Will be forced to be in bed at half
Each restriction dropping on us like past ten.
a bomb, The report is circulated,
Pause a moment in your hurry, On authority, it is stated,
Now, at least, you should not worry, That we soon inaugurate a dean
You can still maintain some rights of men.
with strict aplomb. No more boulevardic rambles,
Utter not your witticisms, No more late hour State street gam-
Save your cutting criticisms, bols,
Of the profswho make the rules Every night a virtual curfew will
you must obey. be tolled.
Bottle up your righteous ire Make much of your last few pleasures,
For the time is drawing nigher Soon you'll walk to stately measures,
When the faculty will nurse you Say Goodbye to masculine Michigan
night and day. men of old.
Pr- Thedi at
Enough Elctionos"
(By P. B. Belcamp)
It is rumored that providing "suffi- collegiate appearance. Lectures by
cient elections are made," the follow- outside authorities.
ing courses will be presented to stu- Serenading 23-Technic of vocal ac-
dents, with the aim of further pro- companiment for guitars, banjos, and
mulgation of a broader education. ukes, including fine points of outdoor
Small Talk 1-To be elected by singing. Recommended for blase col-
male students only, in preparation for lege youths.
evenings to be spent "in company." Equestrianship 5 - Horsemanship
Photo-drama 8 - Generally known for women. The University main-
as "Maj" and "Arc." Lab courses on- tains an excellent stable of thorough-
ly, requiring twelve hours work, for breds. Instruction given under the
six hours credit. personal direction of Professor Mulli-
Boulevarding 18-Complete course son.
in insinuating oneself into the good Positions 15 - Study of the grace-
graces of another. Given only in the ful posing of the figure under all cir-
spring and early fall. cumstances. Complete instruction in
Paddle-making 3 - Special course the assuming of postures and atti-
in manual training, given for the ben- tudes.
efit of fraternity freshmen. Sorority Dining 13a-Includes study
Terpsichorean Art 16-A course in of fine points of etiquette and the art
graceless undulations. May be taken of making a little suffice.
at the Union, Armory, or Packard as Procrastination 25 '- Practical les-
desired. sons in the use of the telephone, to-
Oral Criticism 4 -- Has as its spe- gether with a compendium of sub-
cial aim the knocking of existing jects of small importance which will
things in general, and of campus af- create discussion in other classes
fairs in particular. which will be given during the se-
Grooming 1 - Special instruction in mester.
the selection of brogues. Brooks' A supplement dealing with Summer
models, etc., to the end of assuring a session courses will be issued.



(By F. Lunk)
Torture, in all of its many horrible and agonizing forms, has always been
one of the favorite sports of civilized men-and, in more recent years, of
proEach age has tried to outdo the last, but complete perfection was never
attained until the invention of that abominable outrage of our age-the
modern "blue book."
By comparison the 'early Greeks were mere pikers at the game. They
had to content themselves with such crude methods as the wneel and rack-
by means of which those entertained were converted into material for
sausages. They also used burning tiles to show their warmth of feeling.
Their affection was built from the
ground floor-as it were. The Romans,O ei
made more of a real job of it. The O
leading professor of that day, Nero,
ignited the metropolis of Rome, theIhree7TiRide,
sufficient. On another festive occa-
sion, when the city light plant had a
short, the above mentioned gentleman
found a new use for Christians-he (By Leo Hershdorfer)
used them as torches, to illuminate the Whenever it gets near time for the
royal gardens. finals to approach, it's a funny thing,
After considerable investigation, he but didja ever notice how a lot of
discovered that he could boycott the these real studious birds, the kind
profiteering butchers by feeding what wears big, shell-rimmed head-
Christians-some more of 'em-to the lights and smokes pipes and goes to

Ye Ancients Look
For Real Torture





- -.
Are You Familiar With
Atountain Hop-Not Brew,
(By Walter A. Donnelly)
t seems strange to think of 'a moun- been disconnected, and at the escarp-
n as dancing, yet the mountains of ment, or point of visible displacement,
ifornia have been hopping north- it had taken a neat little rise of 47
rd for many years, according to feet.
afessor A. C. Lawson of the Univer- As the Volstead amendment was
y of California. In a reverse step then unconjectured in even the wildest
unt Tamalpais made a hop of six of alienist's wards, the hunter had
I six-tenths feet, which is pretty some time in convincing himself that
d even for a mountain. it was a trick of the playful little
t seems to be an undisputed fact mountain, and not an attack of
t the "shimmy" was first thought of "tremens."
some one on a mountain when it Sometime when you wish to ponder
s doing its little danseuse eccen- on the future state of affairs, and the
que, as undoubtedly all text books actual manner in which the world is
1 refer to the motion. going to the dogs, you.may take as
Dvery year Mount Hamilton, near your subject, by way of introduction,
n Jose, jumps two and two-tenths the lamentable shape which the friv-
t as gracefully as Isadora Duncan olous world is endeavoring to make
self could do it, and a few years the mode. Instead of being a virtuous
, when the mountain was a little sphere, the earth (would you believe
anger and livelier it did four feet it?) is rapidly approaching the shape
annum. With apparently as little of a tetrahedron with symmetrically
ort it could have jumped a hundred truncated angles.
t, the only objection being that long To think of any self-respecting
ps are not the style in California. world assuming such a shape is
Mountain hops are erratic little enough to drive a man to hashish. In-
ngs, for example after a faulting, deed he might wish that a seismic
name of one of the seismic dance water wave, or rather a tsunamis,
ps, had occurred some years ago in would sweep away, in the words of
aska, a hunter returning across a Mr. 6. Khayyam, "this sorry scheme of
untain path found that the path had things entire."

Things Were Warmish
This, though, was mere trifling com-
pared to the methods of the Spanish
Inquisition. These old sports con-
ceived the scintillating conception of
parboiling their victims in oil-density
7456.29, boiling point, 1962 degrees
Centigrade, and giving them a flagon
of molten lead as a chaser. The Chris-
tions got pretty hot under the collar,
but like the present day victims, they
didn't and couldn't say much.
For a time torture slumped off on
the market, as men saw the approach
of prohibition, and devoted their time
to other things.
Our own dear American Indians con-
tributed the noble idea of scalp col-
lecting. A, sure token that they
wouldn't forget to toughen up the vic-
tims a bit by brushwood fires, to pre-
pare them for what was to come in
parts hereafter.
Fuel got blamed short over yNew
England way about that time, so that
the rage turned to the burning of
witches, whom it was found, flamed
admirably, once they got 'em started.
This practice, due to its unwholesome
effect on the census returns, was soon'
The Idea Continues
The general idea, the real aim, the
same ambition, was cherished even
unto the present day. Enter the blue
Insidious? Deliberate? Fiendish?
Yes. Thrice these and more.
The foregoing methods as appears
obvious, were crude, crass and imma-
ture-having many salient faults, no-
table among which was the fact that
the victim usually died, and killed the
good time.
The material got scarcer and scarcer
and wilder and more wild. And, it
would seem, they should have become
wiser-but they didn't-see blue book.
Origin Shrouded
The exact origin of this thing is
shrouded in mystery, but the most au-
thentic information obtainable is to
the effect that Mephistopheles, jazzing
by in his monoplane stopped off long
enough to spread the good word to
one of his disciples who turned tail
and beat it, and was received as a
hero among the grey beards, and made
forever after welcome.
(Continued on Page Four)


den they get real studious and outline
their books. That's so they can hit
the big blue books.
That's foolish, I opine. I always do
what the philosophy professor says,
that a fellow ought to go to, a movie
or have some other kind of recreation
before an examination. That means
me. So the last coupla days I been
reading a book that O. Henry, a great
Irishman who never got to be a cop
wrote, "Cabbages and Kings," and
"The Four Million" Well, the fellow
who wrote this sure had the dope on
New York, and he sized up the big
town pretty well, I'm thinking.
I remember one story where he
tells about the way they talk in the
beaneries in the big burg, and the
real tough eggs-or yeggs-that work
there; what manner of folk they are.
When I read this story, I got a funny
hunch that maybe the food distilleries
here in Ann Arbor were the same.
I walks into this salle de manger-
that's classical-and tackles one of
the stools' that surround the counter
until the blamed thing stops toddling
and then I seats myself Some big
guy in a white apron, and his sleeves
rolled up, standing down the other
end of the place, slants me and with-
out battin' an eyelid, lets out a yell:
"What'll ya have, and say it quick?"
some more.
"Any ,spuds? What ya drinkin'?
Fur dessert we got some fresh angel
cake wid ice cream. Howzat suit
"All right bring 'em on," I said,
thinking of the Black Prince.
Gosh, this was just like it said in
the book I read, and this lad was sure
as tough as any New York hash
slinger O. Henry wrote about. He
goes over to the kitchen door and
sings the order.
"There's a gent here what wants
Bowery eggs, so make 'em hard boil-
ed. Put the spuds in a plate, he's par-
ticular. And the durned thing is so
delicate he orders angel cake a la.
Plant one foot in heaven, revoise the
other and grease the road. I'll spill
the Java myself."
"Pardon me," I queries, "but are
you acquainted with 0. Henry?"
"Dunno, maybe. Is he a Mason?"

the Armory because there's a saxo-
nhone in the orchestra-all of a sud-


wo Stores


Both Ends of Diagonal Walk

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