THE MICHIGAN DAILY
: - - I i
1< Asr rn s
Into all classes of Homes, I carry the songs of May,
That bring a flush of color, to Old heads pinched and gray,
Way out in the farmhouse lonely, Iwarble my gayest air,
Bringing the voice of the city, for Country people to share
When folks are weary of labor and their hearts are heavy as lead,
sing them songs that pleases, till the dreariest thoughts are fled,
They say I can be bought at GRINNELL'S and my music is all canned,
But you hear me Singing and Playing the best, in every clime and land,
One don't need a great deal of money to place me in their home,
My records are made by the Artists, that stand in their profession alone,
do not linger too long, so come hear my song, we know that we can please,
The Butcher, the Bakerand Candlestick maker and the man who takes his ease
aa
Service is worth a trial
120-122 E. Li berty St.
PHONE 1707
ILastloager and mean more whlen
they are recalled by pictures.
The Hop, with the "same
old crowd," its decorations
and all, is never repeated.
For those who sat by the
fire and talked it over, also
can we give the memories
HOP CONCOCTIONS, SPECIALLY
BREWED FOR THE OCCASION
By Harold 11. Schradzki
ODE TO THE VISITING HOPPERS
We have welcomed doughty fighters
from the east and from the west
With the laurels of the football field
at stake.
We have bowed, in admiration,
To each fighting aggregation
When they left with victory hard be-
hind their wake.
And now you have come to conquer in
the battle of the dance
Ah, Defeat, how like a lamb's bleat
are thy roars!
Take the town, and any minute
You want anything there's in it
Simply ask the man who's with you-
and it's yours.
PSALM ,. WITh ANNOTATON S
Ermitrude, whom I brought out for
the hop, is being duly shepherded by
me; I shall not want-to eat for
six months.
She maketh me to lie down in green
pastures this coming spring, for my
landlady loveth cash in advance; she
leadeth me beside distilled waters.
She restoreth my soul, at that; she
leadeth me in the paths of the waltz-
canter and the Lulu Fado, for their
name's sake.
Yea, though I get busted higher than
a kite this semester, I will fear no
evil; for she was with me; her smile
and her line of bunk comfort me.
She sat down at the table with me
in the presence of mine enemies, and
every professor recognized me, which
looks bad for yours truly; thou an-
nointest my coat lapel with Djerkies;
my kopf runneth over.
Surely creditors and bill collectors
will follow me all the days of my life;
and I will dwell in the poor-house
forever.
THE TRAGEDY
Part One.
I was working all summer as hard as
beaver
Employed in my dad's butcher shop.
From June to October I wielded a
cleaver
For pastime nor sport would I stop.
I had promised by girl (and I wouldn't
deceive her)
To take in the Michigan Hop.
Oh the plans
Of mice
And men j
Are nice
But I ain't gonna go to the Hop.
I worked all in vain for the Hop.
Part Two.
She wrote me from where she resides
(Minnesota)
Of what she was going to wear.
It tickled me so that I sat down and
wrote a
Reply that she'd "look like a bear."
'Twas there I fell down, and Misfor-
tune's full quota
O'ertook me right then and right
there:
Due to lack
Of care
I nis-
Spelled "Bear."
The reply to my missive was rare:
"Further pleading is futile, so there!"
PROBLEM NOVEL
Why I Broke Sally's Neck
It was the day after the Hop. Ugh!
What a day. What a Hop.
Sally and I sat in the drawing room
of my palatial rooming house. We
were discussing sordid things.
Ugh! It nauseates me to think of
them.
But we were so ultra-modern that we]
put up a swell bluff and ranted. Sal-
ly wears $9 shoes.
I asked Sally to marry me.
She said that was why she came to
the Hop.
Then I broke Sally's neck.
THEj l LAY OF THE LAST hOPPER
It was just last week the foment
Of a stiff examination
Had me going for a moment
For in my imagination
There was not a thought of "Sundy"
Nor of Burdick's "Law of Torts"
No obsession that on Monday
I would flunk in "Federal Courts."
But an awful fear possessed me
I had mental indigestion
So completely it obsessed me
That I missed an easy question.
She had wired: "Word from father.
Says no hop for little Mary.
But go on, boy, don't you bother.
Get another little fairy."
Then the trouble started brewing.
I, sans any thought of malice,
Answered: "Never. Nothing doing,"
But I wrote for little Alice.
It was just last week the foment
Of a stiff examination
Had me going for the moment,
F"or in my lmaginatiptn
Mary changed her plans and wired
"Date me up for Barbour Gym"
And then Al became inspired
Writing. "I'll be with you. Tim."
Spending Less of Father's Coin, or the
Hop under the Pure Food and Drugs Act
By Harold R. Schradzki
Scene' the gyms.
Tfime: 1917.
Cast of Characters
Oswald K. D'Eviltree-Swell fratter
from Jones' Corners, Ind.
Aloysius Gookins-Fresh homeop from
Peru, Mont.
Julius P. T. Dufloppy-Senior pharmic
from Seedville, Kan.
Mirrabelle Squink---Os's girl, hailing
from J. C. also.
Lotta Bunk-Al's girl, the classiest
laundress in Washtenaw county.
Udalia Juggins--With Duffoppy, col-
lege w/iddy for 28 years.
Act One
(The curtain rises slowly, being reg-
ulated by faculty control. The open-
ing scene discloses what appears to
be a huge dance hall, the floor of
which is overgrown with sundry
weeds, tall grasses, etc. At the far
end of the hall, on a raised platform,
sit 9860 oldish appearing men and
women, peering floorward through tel-
escopes. These are the chaperons.
Advancing down stage come three
couples, sedately going through a
ritual, diagnosed as de-wickedized
grand march. The women are luxur-
iously gowned in gingham frocks,
trimmed in point de calico, and each
wears a magnificent corsage bouquet
of sunflowers. The handsomely
groomed men are attired in well fit-
ting overalls, with smart cut jumpers.
One of the more fastidious of the
group shows a bandana peeping out
over the top of an exquisitely em-
broidered flannel shirt. The orches-
tra puts his Jew's Harp in his pocket,
and the merry-makers begin to make
out programs.)
D'Eviitree:
dear, not
Mirrabelle:
D'Eviltree:
there?
Mirrabelle:
at them.
D'Eviltree:
I must caution you, my
to smile so sweetly.
Varum nicht, Ossy?
See those chaperons over
Yeh, but I wasn't smiling
Mirrabelle: Oh, Ossy, I've taken les-
sons for six months before coming
here, and I know eighty-one new
dances. Believe me, Os, Jones' Cor-
ners has perked up some.
Oswald K. D'Eviltree (dismayed):
Why Mirrabelle, where do you think
we are? This is the Junior Hop,
under faculty control, absolutely
riotless, danceless, flowerless, but
safe, sane, meek and orderly. You'll
dance the polka, or my name is
Mud.
(Aloysius Gookins and Lotta Bunk
dance downstairs, doing the old
1914 waltz-canter. Pandemonium
breaks loose among the chaperons.
Women faint, scream and pass
away. Aged professors turn pale,
and young instructors lose their per-
fect poise. Al and Lotta turn into
a fox-trot, to the tune of "Stars and
Stripes Forever," and at a signal
from one of the chaperons, are seiz-
ed by nine detectives from Detroit,
and led away in irons. Curtain falls
with the president of the student
council denouncing living, dancing,
sewing, eating and landscape gard-
enin g.}
Act Three
(Scene: Michigan Central depot. Mir-
rabelle saying farewell to Oswald.)
Mirrabelle: And don't forget, Ossy,
there is to be a sociable at the M. E.
church when you get home.
Oswald (nervously looking over his
shoulder): G-good-bye, dear, but not
so loud. I wouldn't dare have them
discover that I have so many out-
side activities.
Mirrabelle: Say Ossy-
Oswald: Yes?
Mirrabelle: Is it truethatthey used
to have house parties here?
Oswald: They certainly did.
Mirrabelle: Then why did they dis-
continue 'em?
Oswald: Er-at the Chi Delt house, in
1.915, an out-of-town girl was caught
smiling to herself at ten minutes of
eleven, Saturday night.
Mirrabelle: How shameless! Well,
g'bye Ossy old scout. (Blows him a
' kiss as train pulls out.)
Oswald: G'bye. . (Wafts kiss, but is
caught in the act by 12 secret ser-
of eatures
FEBRUARY BOOKINGS
Feb. 6-Today. Beulah Poynter in
Lena Rivers.
Feb. 8-g--Monday and Tuesday. John
Fmerson in The Conspiracy.
Feb. 1o-Wednesday. Mary Pickford
in Hearts Adrift.
Feb. 11-12-Thursday and Friday. Mar-
guerite Clark in The Crucible.
Feb. 13-Saturday. Carlyle Blackwell
in The Last Chapter.
Feb. 1-16Monday and Tuesday. Mar-
guerite Clark in The Goose Girl.
Feb. 7-Wednesday. Gabrielle D'Aan-
nunzio in Cabiria.
Feb. r8-9-Thursday and Friday.
George Beban in The Italian.
Feb. 2-Saturday. Frank Mace (All
star cast) in Without Hpe.
Feb. 2-3.-Monday and Tuesday. All
Star Cast in The Girl of the Golden
West.
Feb. a4-Wednesday. Dustin Farnum
in The Squaw Man.
Feb. ay-6-Thursday and Friday.
Maclyn Arbuckle in It's no Laugh-
ing Matter.
Feb. 27-Saturday. Beulah Poynter in
The Little Girl He Forgot.
COMEDY CLUB GIVES POMANDER
WALK AT HOP MATINEE TODAY
Best Talent of University to Be Seen
iii Production of Parker's
Famous Play
Pomander Walk, by Louis Parker,
will be presented by the Comedy club,
at 2:15 o'clock this afternoon at the
Whitney theatre, for the entertainment
of the guests who are assembled for
Michigan's leading social function. The
Comedy club matinee is an annual
event and has come to be looked upon
as a traditional part of the J-Hop fes-
tivities.
The cast of 16 people is made up of
the best talent that the university af-
fords. H. L. Nutting, '15L, manager of
the club, and Edward Sachs, '17, who
played in Jesse Bonstelle's original
company during 1913, have directed
the rehearsals, whch have been going
on for nearly two months.
Mary True, '15, and M. C. Wood, '17,
take the leading roles. Phyllis Povah,
'16, Walker Petticord, '16L, and Leon
Cunningham, '16, handle difficult parts.
The other members of the cast are:
C. A. Lokker, '17L, Margaret Reynolds,
'17, Frances Hickok, '15, Elsa Apfel,
'16, Grant L. Cook, '16L, Ethel Buzbey,
15, John Switzer, '16, H. H. Springstun,
'17, and E. F. Bankey, '17.
Action in the play takes place along
the Thames river at Chiswick place in
1805. Three love strains run through
the plot, which abounds with humor
and funny situations.
Seats are on sale at the Whitney.
Do you want what you want when
you want it? Try Schaerberle & Son
for the New Victrola Dance Records.
The Sugden Drug Company have
purchased a large line of Park & Ti-
ord's Candies especially for the Junior
Hop.
vice men, who arrest him on the
charges of boisterous conduct, lese
majesty, assault, violating the Inter-
state Commerce Commission Acts,
high treason, burglary and arson.
Student council disperses mob, con-
sisting of four freshmen, while the
correspondents for the state papers
send out riot reports to sardonic
editors. Oswald dies happily.)
Curtain.
BIJO
THEATRE
209 E. Washington St.
Bet. 4th and 5th Aves.
"The House of Hits"
Saturday, Feb. i
"The Mystery of Wickham Hall;'
in two parts. Ford-Detroit
Weekly-News in and about
Detroit.
Sunday, Feb. 6
Special Sunday Programme-
Featuring "The Birth of
Christ," "The Redemption."
SPECIAL MUSIC
That's not it.
You see, if'
we are caught enjoying ourselves,
it will prejudice the chances of oth-
er classes to hold hops.
Mirrabelle:(Oh!
Duzfloppy (to his
there's Oswald
get a dance.
Lotta: Nix, kid.
enough for me.
Aloysius (coming
girl): By George,
D'Eviltree. I must
Youse dance swell
up with Udalia on
of this
splendid
hop. We have
photos of the
his arm): Ah, how are you, Duflop-
py?
Dufloppy: Fine. Want to trade a
dance?
Aloysius: Sorry, old man, but we're
only to have two dances, you know.
All: Why, how's that?
Aloysius: Well, you see, if we are to
get in by seven-thirty, there is
scarcely time for more.
Udalia (looking at wrist watch):
Mercy, it is nearly seven now.
D'Eviltree: Ah, and the music has be-
gun. Let us dance.
Act Two
(Same scene. The chaperons are
peering a bit more peerishly at the
floor, where, to the stirring tune
of "Silver Threads Among the Gold,"
maudlinly rhapsodized by the Jew's
Harpist, the dance is in full swing.)
Dufloppy (to his partner): For Heav-
en's sake, Udalia, ditch that step.
Udalia: Why Julius P. T. Dufloppy, it's
the newest thing out!
Dufloppy: That's just it, my dear. If
you don't want to see me busted out
of college, you'd better stick to the
schottische.
decorations, grand march,
and the cotillon in souvenir
book form which it is
said beats anything before.
Always 5c
Always
1
Exclusive J-Hop Photographers
334-336 South State Street
"The Only Studio on the Campus"
r_
I
GARGOYLE DEDiCATED TO HOP
GUESTS APPEARS YESTERDAY
Hopping into prominence in regalia
appropriate to the J-Hop, the Gargoyle
made its appearance yesterday. The
current number of the humor magazine
is dedicated to the reinstated and re-
habilitated Junior hop.
The cover design is from the pen of
L. M. Kishlar, '17E, while the literary
feature of the issue is a poem by
Doctor Thomas Lovell, Ann Arbor's
famous cobbler-poet.
Victor Victrolas, Edison Diamond
Disc and Cylinder Machines lined up
for your inspection and comparisqn
at Schaerberle & Son's, 110 S. Main St,
522 Holmes Taxicab Co. 522
The Sugden Drug Company have
purchased a large assortment of Park
& Tilford's Candies especially for the
Junior Hop.
522 "We'll be there" 522
Holmes Taxicab Co.
Ijkaleles, Martiu Guitars and Musi-
cal Instruments of every description
at Schaeberle & Son's Music lHouse.
522 When you want us 522
"We'll be there"'
R. G. Huntinghouse CotillonWorks
Importers and Manufacturers
Cotillon, Favors, Novelties, Paper
Hats, Caps, Serpentines,
Confetti, Etc.
79-81 West Lake Street
CHICAGO, ILL.
J-HOP DECORATIONS AND COTILLON FURNISHED BY US