Tt'e Michigan Daily - Monday, May 10, .999
Gwar brings Armageddon to Jarpo's6
By Ian Dyament
For the Daily
With all of the formidable talk of
the end of the world, it's good to see
a band attempting to bring the world
one step closer to Armageddon
through music. Dubbed
"Gwarmageddon 1999," theatrical
; Gwar attempted
" to kill everything
on earth at
Gwar Harpo's last
Harpo ' Gwar is noto-
Mayr7 rious for its
lyrics and 50-
In an attempt
to stage the
slaughter of a
thousapd innocent people, Gwar
brought truck loads of stage props,
fake blood and a giant talking toilet.
As the lights dimmed and the
video screen was raised, the crowd
screamed with anticipation. On stage
was a giant tablet with the word
"GWAR" hung on the wall of a cave.
An archeologist and his companion
emerged on stage searching for the
secret of the universe believed to he
A few songs into the show, a new
member Scroda Moon showed up
with a plan to get the tablet pieces
back. To help with this task he
brought out the portal potty. The por-
tal potty is a hilarious six foot tall
talking toilet that spews out washed-
up celebrities with pieces of the
tablet. Scroda flushed and plunged
the toilet and brought out Marilyn
Manson and Elvis, among others, to
be killed by Gwar.
Throughout the show Gwar contin-
ued with their bloody quest to find
the remaining pieces. After all of the
pieces of the tablet were found and
put back together, the world was
finally safe from the genocide
brought on by Gwar.
In the wake of all the celebrating,
the only female member of Gwar,
Slymenstra Hymen, flushed her used
sanitary napkin down the portal
potty. This made the portal potty
upset. It then summoned the Master
of the Universe.
The Master of the Universe is an
alien that created the solar system,
and condemned Gwar to the planet
Earth. This proved to be the most
intense battle of the night. This battle
was long and drawn out, with Gwar
eventually killing the master by
sodomizing him to death. This
ruined Gwar's chances of escaping
Earth, and they were left to finding a
The PJs Soundtrack
new way out of here.
All of this excitement was packed
into a blood curdling two hour show.
Most of the songs showcased were
taken from their new album "We Kill
The new album marks Gwar's
return to their punk rock roots.
Judging by the crowd's reaction t
the new material, they couldn't hav
been happier. Some of the new songs
performed were "Jiggle the Handle,"
"Fucking an Animal,"
"Jaggermonster" and "My Girly
The show also included classic
Gwar songs from past albums "Hell-
o," "Scumdogs of the Universe" and
"America Must Be Destroyed." Some
vintage songs Gwar played were
"Salaminizer," "Gwar Song," "Sick
of You," "Ham on the Bone" an*
For the encore Gwar played "I
Hate Love Songs" off of 1997's
"Carnival of Chaos," and took vari-
ous female audience members and
fed them through a giant meat
grinder built in the. middle of the
"Gwarmageddon 1999" proved
that with the approach of the nee
millennium Gwar will not die. They
have secured their place in shock
rock history, and will continue to
make music well into the future.
Gwar might seek to destroy the world, but even shock rockers need to take time
off and get in touch with their more tender side. Here they pose for a Mother's
housed in the cave. When the female song called "Baby Raper," the lead
companion tried to read what was on singer Oderous Urungus slaughtered
the tablet, the archeologist warned the two victims. This erupted into a
her that if the word was spoken the mass spraying of fake blood and guts
end of the world would come. With on the front rows of the audience.
the audiences help, the companion During the slaughter, the ancient
repeated "GWAR!" about half a tablet was broken and the pieces dis-
dozen times. appeared.
After the last "Gwar" was repeat- Without the tablet together, the
ed, the band broke through the walls end of the world will consume us all.
of the cave. While playing a new including Gwar.
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The soundtrack to thei
series, "The lJs' is an
mainstream hip-hop that
friendly. The combination
as Snoop Doggy Dog, Rae
Destiny's Child and Ra
make this a classic album t
at a party or just driving d
The soundtrack focuses
groovy beats, and therefor
sis is placed on the qua
Some of the stronger point
include the aforementiont
Sy Smith's remake of E
"What I Am" and "It's
Jermaine Dupri and Da Br
There are plenty of oth
tunes, but towards the end
a little repetitive and leave
the skip button on your C
If you're planning on I
soon and need some tun
album. If you're looki
Raekwon or Q-Tip's bes
Walking Off the Bt
Blessid Union of Souls
20iBetter Than Ezra1Hoot
that demonstrates potentia
of group that would fit in
was performing at The A
even Rick's Unfortunatel
easy blend of
is quite user
of artists such
phael Saadiq survive today's competitive market, a
o jam to when band needs more than that.
own the street. Some of the tracks on "Walking Off
its energy on the Buzz" are boring and at times
re less empha- vocalist IEiot Sloan lost the soul in his
lity of Iyrics. voice. Blessid Union, however, has had
s of the album several Billboard hits in the past four
ed artists plus years, so they must have some sort Ce
die Brickell's audience.
Nothing" by Most ofthe songs are of the romantic
rat. genre and are actually ones that we can
ier interesting identify with. One of the positive
the songs get aspects of the album is the lyrics. Many
you pressing of the songs have catchy words and a
D player. nice hook. One of the best songs is
aving a party "Hey Leonardo." In that song, Sloan
es, this is the whines, "She likes me for me/Not
ig for, say, because I hang with Leonardo/Or that
t work, look guy who played in 'Fargo' ..."
The final, hidden track, which is
Alisa Claeys cover of The Beatles' "Revolution," i'
also a notable effort.
of Souls Like Britney Spears or the Spice
Girls, the songs in this album are ones
uIZZ that you may not like at first, but you'll
end up hunming them to yourself later
on. If you like music like Matchbox 20
and other pop-rock groups, "Walking
is a Matchbox Off the Buzz" should delight you. If
tie-type group your entire CD collection consists
il. It's the type off-beat stuff never heard on the radio
perfectly if it you should probably leave this one for
rk, or perhaps the mainstream.
Check our wE r
Call: Fr. J. Munley at (517)342-2507 for a confidential
appointment. Roman Catholic Diocese of Lansing
300 W. Ottawa
Lansing, MI. 48933
v, in order to
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