Tt'e Michigan Daily - Monday, May 10, .999 Gwar brings Armageddon to Jarpo's6 By Ian Dyament For the Daily With all of the formidable talk of the end of the world, it's good to see a band attempting to bring the world one step closer to Armageddon through music. Dubbed "Gwarmageddon 1999," theatrical shock rockers ; Gwar attempted " to kill everything on earth at Gwar Harpo's last Friday. Harpo ' Gwar is noto- Mayr7 rious for its gruesome live shows, sick lyrics and 50- pound latex suits. In an attempt to stage the slaughter of a thousapd innocent people, Gwar brought truck loads of stage props, fake blood and a giant talking toilet. As the lights dimmed and the video screen was raised, the crowd screamed with anticipation. On stage was a giant tablet with the word "GWAR" hung on the wall of a cave. An archeologist and his companion emerged on stage searching for the secret of the universe believed to he A few songs into the show, a new member Scroda Moon showed up with a plan to get the tablet pieces back. To help with this task he brought out the portal potty. The por- tal potty is a hilarious six foot tall talking toilet that spews out washed- up celebrities with pieces of the tablet. Scroda flushed and plunged the toilet and brought out Marilyn Manson and Elvis, among others, to be killed by Gwar. Throughout the show Gwar contin- ued with their bloody quest to find the remaining pieces. After all of the pieces of the tablet were found and put back together, the world was finally safe from the genocide brought on by Gwar. In the wake of all the celebrating, the only female member of Gwar, Slymenstra Hymen, flushed her used sanitary napkin down the portal potty. This made the portal potty upset. It then summoned the Master of the Universe. The Master of the Universe is an alien that created the solar system, and condemned Gwar to the planet Earth. This proved to be the most intense battle of the night. This battle was long and drawn out, with Gwar eventually killing the master by sodomizing him to death. This ruined Gwar's chances of escaping Earth, and they were left to finding a The PJs Soundtrack Hollywood Records new way out of here. All of this excitement was packed into a blood curdling two hour show. Most of the songs showcased were taken from their new album "We Kill Everything." The new album marks Gwar's return to their punk rock roots. Judging by the crowd's reaction t the new material, they couldn't hav been happier. Some of the new songs performed were "Jiggle the Handle," "Fucking an Animal," "Jaggermonster" and "My Girly Ways." The show also included classic Gwar songs from past albums "Hell- o," "Scumdogs of the Universe" and "America Must Be Destroyed." Some vintage songs Gwar played were "Salaminizer," "Gwar Song," "Sick of You," "Ham on the Bone" an* "Maggots." For the encore Gwar played "I Hate Love Songs" off of 1997's "Carnival of Chaos," and took vari- ous female audience members and fed them through a giant meat grinder built in the. middle of the stage. "Gwarmageddon 1999" proved that with the approach of the nee millennium Gwar will not die. They have secured their place in shock rock history, and will continue to make music well into the future. Gwar might seek to destroy the world, but even shock rockers need to take time off and get in touch with their more tender side. Here they pose for a Mother's Day photo. housed in the cave. When the female song called "Baby Raper," the lead companion tried to read what was on singer Oderous Urungus slaughtered the tablet, the archeologist warned the two victims. This erupted into a her that if the word was spoken the mass spraying of fake blood and guts end of the world would come. With on the front rows of the audience. the audiences help, the companion During the slaughter, the ancient repeated "GWAR!" about half a tablet was broken and the pieces dis- dozen times. appeared. After the last "Gwar" was repeat- Without the tablet together, the ed, the band broke through the walls end of the world will consume us all. of the cave. While playing a new including Gwar. . .ai . .i , 8 a .Ili.d. .Aal , .a ~gid.aB, ll . i . i®, IRAi ®f f 4 - - - - - - 4a * A *4ff ' Get a life!. Not , 4 Conside 4i Calli ng! just a job? 'r the Catholic Priesthood! r'1 r'1 r'1 r4 '1 4 I' 4 r;4 r4 4 4 4 4 ;e 4 +4 r4 ,4 4 4 +4 4; re 4, 44 4 4 4 4. The soundtrack to thei series, "The lJs' is an mainstream hip-hop that friendly. The combination as Snoop Doggy Dog, Rae Destiny's Child and Ra make this a classic album t at a party or just driving d The soundtrack focuses groovy beats, and therefor sis is placed on the qua Some of the stronger point include the aforementiont Sy Smith's remake of E "What I Am" and "It's Jermaine Dupri and Da Br There are plenty of oth tunes, but towards the end a little repetitive and leave the skip button on your C If you're planning on I soon and need some tun album. If you're looki Raekwon or Q-Tip's bes elsewhere. Blessid Unionc Walking Off the Bt Push Records Blessid Union of Souls 20iBetter Than Ezra1Hoot that demonstrates potentia of group that would fit in was performing at The A even Rick's Unfortunatel new television easy blend of is quite user of artists such ekwon, Q-Tip, phael Saadiq survive today's competitive market, a o jam to when band needs more than that. own the street. Some of the tracks on "Walking Off its energy on the Buzz" are boring and at times re less empha- vocalist IEiot Sloan lost the soul in his lity of Iyrics. voice. Blessid Union, however, has had s of the album several Billboard hits in the past four ed artists plus years, so they must have some sort Ce die Brickell's audience. Nothing" by Most ofthe songs are of the romantic rat. genre and are actually ones that we can ier interesting identify with. One of the positive the songs get aspects of the album is the lyrics. Many you pressing of the songs have catchy words and a D player. nice hook. One of the best songs is aving a party "Hey Leonardo." In that song, Sloan es, this is the whines, "She likes me for me/Not ig for, say, because I hang with Leonardo/Or that t work, look guy who played in 'Fargo' ..." The final, hidden track, which is Alisa Claeys cover of The Beatles' "Revolution," i' also a notable effort. of Souls Like Britney Spears or the Spice Girls, the songs in this album are ones uIZZ that you may not like at first, but you'll end up hunming them to yourself later on. If you like music like Matchbox 20 and other pop-rock groups, "Walking is a Matchbox Off the Buzz" should delight you. If tie-type group your entire CD collection consists il. It's the type off-beat stuff never heard on the radio perfectly if it you should probably leave this one for rk, or perhaps the mainstream. 44 11 41 i '' 4 's V Check our wE r @www.2BeAPriest4Christ.Com or Call: Fr. J. Munley at (517)342-2507 for a confidential appointment. Roman Catholic Diocese of Lansing 300 W. Ottawa Lansing, MI. 48933 ---------- v, in order to Alisa Clacs - ___- - ___ - r.......__.___.