orking out big bucks
or higher education
It's that time of year for us soon-to-be seniors
it's time to start the application process for
raduate schools. Alas, some won't go to grad
chool. Instead, they 'I enter
real world of jobs and
eers and all that real life
tuf But for all of us who
ant to postpone the real-
orld drama as long as possi-
Ie, and stick to the safe 1
aven of academia, we have
o start worrying about apply-
ng to prospective schools-
. The whole grad school
pplication process isn't far GREG
emoved from its undergrad PARKER
nterpart. You have to scout
the schools, take a standardized test, fill out
orms, write the essays and compile letters of rec-
mmendation. It's all too familiar.
What's also too familiar is the draining of one's
checkbook. The GRE Test, an acronym for
raduate Record Examination, similar to the SAT
hut for college kids, costs $80 to take. Of course,
if you want it hand-scored, that's extra. And if you
want your test back, that's extra. And god forbid if
you want more than four schools to receive the
Its of your GRE - each extra school is an
additional $13. And for those of us who aren't sure
things for admission into Harvard or Princeton,
for those of us who need to apply to more than
four schools, these costs add up. A more appropri-
ate name for the GRE is the Great Rip-off Exam.
And it isn't as if we have much of a choice in
taking the GRE. For the most part, if you want to
go to grad school, you have to take the test. Since
there is only one company that offers the test, we
become familiar with what we economists call
" onopoly pricing." In other words, lack of com-
ition allows GRE to do whatever they want. 80
bucks for a test? No problem. 13 bucks for each
additional school? Why not. It isn't as if a bunch
of college kids are going to start a rival company
- I'm sure that test would go over real big in
graduate departments across the land.
And speaking of rip-offs, the average grad
school application fee seems to be around $40 to
$50, with some as high as $65. Of course, some
schools offer "discounts" - in essence, early bird
'a lication discounts. For instance, if you apply to
Duke before a certain date, your application fee
drops from $65 to $50, a whopping savings of
$15. What a deal. But while $40 or $50 doesn't
seem bad for a few schools, when you start apply-
ing to 10 schools, the costs add up.
Dip into your pocketbook a little further if you
actually want to visit the schools you might possi-
bly attend. For those of us lucky enough to actual-
ly get into grad school, one might want to visit
potential picks. Flights to Los Angeles or New
York aren't exactly WalMart cheap, however, and
*ither is room and board for your stay. And it's
not like we have much of a choice in this matter
either - picking a grad school "sight unseen" is
like buying a car without a test drive or purchas-
ing a house without ever stepping foot inside. It
shouldn't be done.
So let me do the math here. Let's say you apply
to 10 schools. That's $80 for the GRE, plus $78 for
additional score reports. With a $40 average appli-
cation fee for each school, that's $400 for applica-
ns. Let's say you visit three schools - a con-
vative estimate of trip expenses each trip might
be $250. Totaled, that's about $1300 - just for
applying. And you haven't even stepped into a
classroom.
- Greg Parker can be reached eta
e-mail at glparker@umich.edu.
Wednesday, August 14, 1996 - The Michigan Daily - 5
NOTABLE QUOTABLE
"A few years ago, when I suddenly found myself President, I
said I was a Ford, not a Lincoln. Today, what we have in the
White House is neither a Ford, nor a Lincoln. What we have
is a convertible Dodge. Isn't it time for a trade-in?"
- Former President of the United States and University alum Gerald R. Ford, in a
speech at the Republican National Convention in San Diego on Monday
"I think Kemp is going to give the campaign an added
boost. He's going to appeal to the younger youth and he
played for the Chargers."
- San Diego Republican Linda Batson, commenting on Bob
Dole's choice of running mate on the Republican ticket
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sOUND AND FURY
Long drive to the
goal line for GOP
Poor Bob Dole - even his own running mate
doesn't like him. Dole's pre-convention selec-
tion of Jack Kemp as his vice-presidential run-
ning mate came as a sur-
prise to some; the two have
been long-time rivals, dis-
agrecing on everything t
from immigration to affir- -
mative action to gun con- -
trol.
You see, just like a bi
chunk of the American pop-
ulace, Kemp really doesn't
think much of Dole. Dole,
in turn, does not like Kemp. DEAN
This is a marriage of politi- BAKOPOULOS
cal necessity. (Wait, isn't
that outlawed under the new "Defense of
Marriage Act?")
And indeed, GOP sources say Kemp was not
the first choice for Dole's running mate. Dole
insiders knew they needed someone huge to
swing the polls, and so they went for the biggest
names they could get. Michael Jordan,
Madonna and several U.S. Olympic women
gynmasts declined a spot on the ticket.
Michigan Gov. John Engler also was a final-
ist for the number two job, but fell short. Ah,
wouldn't that have been a wonderful thing for
our state: a chance to throw Engler out of
Lansing and onto the sinking USS Dole?
And according to new reports, the GOP, in
desperate need of a miracle, reportedly contact-
ed Jesus Christ for the VP job. He declined the
offer, saying through a publicist, "We've decid-
ed that San Diego is not an appropriate venue
for the Second Coming. In addition, we have
very real doubts that the Lord would be able to
get along with the Christian Coalition."
So, now, the man of the hour in San Diego is
the former pro-quarterbacking, fraternity-rush-
ing, hairspray-using, hoping-Bob-Dole-buys-
the-farm Kemp.
And the man of the hour is not Patrick
Buchanan. Republicans are quietly trying to
sweep Buchanan under the rug. This is because
the man is nutso, freaksville, coocoo-woocoo.
Buchanan, on the other hand, seems too far gone
to care what is happening. Said he at a recent
rally, "One day, the stone the builders rejected
may yet become the cornerstone."
If you didn't catch that, Pat was making a
biblical reference to a passage that alludes to
Christ. Pat Buchanan is certainly no Christ fig-
ure, and he certainly will never be the corner-
stone. An annoying pebble that gets caught in
your sandals, maybe, but never the corner-
stone.
Speaking of crumbling structures, former
presidents Ford and Bush are on hand in San
Diego, along with a video tribute to former
President Reagan. The video tribute is a hypnot-
ic video that will send the convention delegates
into an afternoon nap, after which they will
wake up having little recollection of what's been
going on. Nancy Reagan will then speak on her
ailing husband's behalf, an easy task for her,
since she did just that for most of the '80s.
It's a shame that all this has to take place in
San Diego, which is a lovely city. I just hope the
Republicans don't breed. All in all, it's a week of
madness and mayhem, as the GOP tries to rally
its troops for one final push. Which is fine by
me. Even a quarterback can't turn this game
around.
Especially not with Dole as his center.
-- Dean Bakopoutos can be reached via
e-mail at deanc(dunich.edu.