orking out big bucks or higher education It's that time of year for us soon-to-be seniors it's time to start the application process for raduate schools. Alas, some won't go to grad chool. Instead, they 'I enter real world of jobs and eers and all that real life tuf But for all of us who ant to postpone the real- orld drama as long as possi- Ie, and stick to the safe 1 aven of academia, we have o start worrying about apply- ng to prospective schools- . The whole grad school pplication process isn't far GREG emoved from its undergrad PARKER nterpart. You have to scout the schools, take a standardized test, fill out orms, write the essays and compile letters of rec- mmendation. It's all too familiar. What's also too familiar is the draining of one's checkbook. The GRE Test, an acronym for raduate Record Examination, similar to the SAT hut for college kids, costs $80 to take. Of course, if you want it hand-scored, that's extra. And if you want your test back, that's extra. And god forbid if you want more than four schools to receive the Its of your GRE - each extra school is an additional $13. And for those of us who aren't sure things for admission into Harvard or Princeton, for those of us who need to apply to more than four schools, these costs add up. A more appropri- ate name for the GRE is the Great Rip-off Exam. And it isn't as if we have much of a choice in taking the GRE. For the most part, if you want to go to grad school, you have to take the test. Since there is only one company that offers the test, we become familiar with what we economists call " onopoly pricing." In other words, lack of com- ition allows GRE to do whatever they want. 80 bucks for a test? No problem. 13 bucks for each additional school? Why not. It isn't as if a bunch of college kids are going to start a rival company - I'm sure that test would go over real big in graduate departments across the land. And speaking of rip-offs, the average grad school application fee seems to be around $40 to $50, with some as high as $65. Of course, some schools offer "discounts" - in essence, early bird 'a lication discounts. For instance, if you apply to Duke before a certain date, your application fee drops from $65 to $50, a whopping savings of $15. What a deal. But while $40 or $50 doesn't seem bad for a few schools, when you start apply- ing to 10 schools, the costs add up. Dip into your pocketbook a little further if you actually want to visit the schools you might possi- bly attend. For those of us lucky enough to actual- ly get into grad school, one might want to visit potential picks. Flights to Los Angeles or New York aren't exactly WalMart cheap, however, and *ither is room and board for your stay. And it's not like we have much of a choice in this matter either - picking a grad school "sight unseen" is like buying a car without a test drive or purchas- ing a house without ever stepping foot inside. It shouldn't be done. So let me do the math here. Let's say you apply to 10 schools. That's $80 for the GRE, plus $78 for additional score reports. With a $40 average appli- cation fee for each school, that's $400 for applica- ns. Let's say you visit three schools - a con- vative estimate of trip expenses each trip might be $250. Totaled, that's about $1300 - just for applying. And you haven't even stepped into a classroom. - Greg Parker can be reached eta e-mail at glparker@umich.edu. Wednesday, August 14, 1996 - The Michigan Daily - 5 NOTABLE QUOTABLE "A few years ago, when I suddenly found myself President, I said I was a Ford, not a Lincoln. Today, what we have in the White House is neither a Ford, nor a Lincoln. What we have is a convertible Dodge. Isn't it time for a trade-in?" - Former President of the United States and University alum Gerald R. Ford, in a speech at the Republican National Convention in San Diego on Monday "I think Kemp is going to give the campaign an added boost. He's going to appeal to the younger youth and he played for the Chargers." - San Diego Republican Linda Batson, commenting on Bob Dole's choice of running mate on the Republican ticket CHRIS FARAH MASHED POTATOES RE-WforIM orea4Mnf/r0maOR.-54 f/d/ cll Txx CU AXA SPPLY ' > RLY q N V ACS SIfDE 5GVV091 PW E M4ST WHAT A T TH TEMANDf OA64-050 5 DO W hatdoyou think? Column iSes wanted tfor tai tem Adrienne or Zack at till]if IBy Wiley V1L=-YP~ r h /\ i I What d© you think? Send letCts to dail leter$ umch ed sOUND AND FURY Long drive to the goal line for GOP Poor Bob Dole - even his own running mate doesn't like him. Dole's pre-convention selec- tion of Jack Kemp as his vice-presidential run- ning mate came as a sur- prise to some; the two have been long-time rivals, dis- agrecing on everything t from immigration to affir- - mative action to gun con- - trol. You see, just like a bi chunk of the American pop- ulace, Kemp really doesn't think much of Dole. Dole, in turn, does not like Kemp. DEAN This is a marriage of politi- BAKOPOULOS cal necessity. (Wait, isn't that outlawed under the new "Defense of Marriage Act?") And indeed, GOP sources say Kemp was not the first choice for Dole's running mate. Dole insiders knew they needed someone huge to swing the polls, and so they went for the biggest names they could get. Michael Jordan, Madonna and several U.S. Olympic women gynmasts declined a spot on the ticket. Michigan Gov. John Engler also was a final- ist for the number two job, but fell short. Ah, wouldn't that have been a wonderful thing for our state: a chance to throw Engler out of Lansing and onto the sinking USS Dole? And according to new reports, the GOP, in desperate need of a miracle, reportedly contact- ed Jesus Christ for the VP job. He declined the offer, saying through a publicist, "We've decid- ed that San Diego is not an appropriate venue for the Second Coming. In addition, we have very real doubts that the Lord would be able to get along with the Christian Coalition." So, now, the man of the hour in San Diego is the former pro-quarterbacking, fraternity-rush- ing, hairspray-using, hoping-Bob-Dole-buys- the-farm Kemp. And the man of the hour is not Patrick Buchanan. Republicans are quietly trying to sweep Buchanan under the rug. This is because the man is nutso, freaksville, coocoo-woocoo. Buchanan, on the other hand, seems too far gone to care what is happening. Said he at a recent rally, "One day, the stone the builders rejected may yet become the cornerstone." If you didn't catch that, Pat was making a biblical reference to a passage that alludes to Christ. Pat Buchanan is certainly no Christ fig- ure, and he certainly will never be the corner- stone. An annoying pebble that gets caught in your sandals, maybe, but never the corner- stone. Speaking of crumbling structures, former presidents Ford and Bush are on hand in San Diego, along with a video tribute to former President Reagan. The video tribute is a hypnot- ic video that will send the convention delegates into an afternoon nap, after which they will wake up having little recollection of what's been going on. Nancy Reagan will then speak on her ailing husband's behalf, an easy task for her, since she did just that for most of the '80s. It's a shame that all this has to take place in San Diego, which is a lovely city. I just hope the Republicans don't breed. All in all, it's a week of madness and mayhem, as the GOP tries to rally its troops for one final push. Which is fine by me. Even a quarterback can't turn this game around. Especially not with Dole as his center. -- Dean Bakopoutos can be reached via e-mail at deanc(dunich.edu.