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May 15, 1984 - Image 19

Resource type:
Michigan Daily, 1984-05-15

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

Berenson still considering
Michigan hockey position
By MIKE McGRAW this week," said Berenson about a decision in
By week's end, it should he known whether or thes matter. "It comes down to making a
not Michigan's greatest hocky player will he decision over whether to make the move to Ann
returning to coach the team next season. Arbor.
Athletic director Don Canham has been "It's a good situation and I've talked to a lot
trying to persuade Red Berenson to leave his of people about it. I've been back and forth with
post as an assistant for the Buffalo Sabres and Canham and he's been very cooperative."
return to his alma mater ever since the Board Should Berenson decide to return to his old
in Control of Intercollegiate Athletics fired skating grounds, there will be a great rise in
coach John Giordano two weeks ago. enthusiasm over the Michigan hockey program
"RIGHT NOW we're still talking, but by the that was beginning to deteriorate under Gior-
end of the week, we should know one way or the dano.
other," said Canham. "I think (Berenson) is "IF BERENSON became part of the 'U-M
everybody's number-one choice." program, it could only get better," said junior
Canham tried to hire Berenson once before, left wing Chris Seychel. "He's a great coach
after Dan Farrell resigned from the coaching with lots of experience and he's probably the
job following the 1980 season. Berenson, though best player in Michigan history."
was head coach of the St. Louis Blues at the Senior Doug May agreed with that opinion,
timeand refused the offer. "It would be great if he became the coach,"
But this time, the former Michigan All- said May. "All the guys would really be en-
America is working as an assistant in the NHL thused. He's a great player."
with not much hope of returning to a head Berenson is in the midst of serving a contract
coaching position in the immediate future, so with the Sabres, but he feels there wouldn't be
the speculation is that there is a very good any problem if he decided to leave. As head
chance that Berenson will be returning to Ann coach of St. Louis, Berenson led the Blues to the
Arbor. second best record in the NHL during the '79-
"THERE ARE a lot of things in question .80 season, but was fired the next year while the
right now, but I'm hoping to know some time team was playing near the .500 mark.
Michigan golf coach Jim Carras had a simple ex-
planation for his team's eighth-place finish in the
Big Ten golf tournament over the weekend.
"We're an eighth-place team," said Carras. "We
L * n e don't have the caliber of players to make the top
KS three in the Big Ten right now.
"IN THE conference, there are five very good
teams and there are five teams like Michigan."
fiThe difference, according to Carras, is that the
j1jish top schools emphasize the sport and carry five
scholarshipped golfers, while the Wolverines only
have two. As a result, the low finish of Michigan in
the conference was to be expected.
Ohio State, the defending champion, won the
tournament with the host school, Indiana, in second
* and Northwestern third. The Hoosiers' Mike
Ingram won the individual title by shooting a four-
round total of 286. He edged OSU's Chris Perry by
one stroke.
Y All of the Wolverine golfers finished back in the
L0 rn e V pack. Dan Roberts was best on the team, shooting a
302. Chris Westfall and Peter Savarino both took 312
strokes on the weekend to tie for second. Ken Clark
shot a 315 and Terry Porvin's scorecard read 316.
No Michigan golfers were among the eight-man
all-conference squad, selected on the basis of best
average over the entire season.
McCormiek survives cut

The Michigan Dail -Tuesday, May 15, 1984 -Page
Raising lie
How to solve boycott...
... let'em play the 'Feud'
A RE THEY CRAZY? An Olympic Games without the
Russians? What fun would that be? Who would we boo?
The Romanians? The Albanians? The Canadians?
Without the Soviet or East German teams whose women
are we going to poke fun at? No commies means no judging
controversies, no "good guys vs. the bad guys." No fun. And
that adds up to a pretty boring XXIII Olympiad.
But maybe there is hope after all. Walter "Mr. Ex-
citement" Mondale has the right idea. And so does Super-
Jesse, the Democratic minister/world troubleshooter. Both
identified the urgent necessity of a Russian presence in Los
Angeles this July. Both urged President Reagan to become
directly involved and convince the Soviets to participate.
"Don't take nyet for an answer," said Mondale.
Attaboy, Fritz. Negotiate with the Russians, that's the
ticket. Persuade, coax, urge, cajole, convince, canive, com-
pel, impel, invite, incite, etc. In other words make the Soviets
an offer that, well, only a mad Russian would refuse.
Who can say for sure what it might take to get the Ruskies
to L.A. Maybe a case of good vodka (Finlandia, please)
would turn the trick. Maybe we'd have to remove all our
troops from western Europe. It doesn't matter. Whatever it
takes, we should do it. We simply must win over those stub-
born Reds or else we'll be left to face Iceland in the basket-
ball finals. I don't know about you, but for me the glitter of
the traditional American-Icelandic rivalry doesn't gleam
with the brilliance it once did.
So c'mon Ronnie. Get on that hot line and start dealing,
pronto. And the same goes for everybody-television net-
works, businesses, private citizens. We should all do our
- share to get Ivan and Olga to the Games. No price is too
great. Remember, our national pride is at stake.
So to do my part for patriotism I've come up with some
suggestions to get the Russians to the '84 Olympics. We
could ...
1) Give 'em Alaska. Why not? We don't really need it
anymore. And besides, they were nice enough to give it to us,
in the first place.
2) Introduce new Olympic events especially for the
Russians. How about the "vodka gulp"? Perhaps the
"dissident toss"? Or maybe the "747 shoot"? How about
some kind of team competition where you have everybody
form a line as fast as they can. With their experience the
Russians would be a favorite in that one, though the Poles
would give them a run for their money.
3) Offer Soviet Premier Konstantin Chernenko a guest spot
on "The Love Boat." Konstantin could play a retired Czech
tennis star who falls in love with Ann B. Davis (Alice of
"Brady Bunch" fame).
4) Make Stolichnaya vodka the official drink of the '84
Games. How about an advertising campaign to go with it,
like, "Join the vodka achievers!"
5) Promise to have all Russian gold medals bronzed.
6) Build a moat around the hotel where the Soviet athletes
are staying, to prevent embarrassing defections.
7) Have all Soviet athletes get a real feel for American
life by takinga tour of Cleveland, OH. To prevent defections.
8) Have every Soviet male athlete meet singers Cyndi
Lauper and Grace Jones and tell them all American girls are
like this. Now that would prevent defections.
9) Hire the Hell's Angels as bodyguards for the Russians.
10) Let Gus Hall, American Communist Party candidate
for president, referee the U.S.-Soviet basketball game.
11) Give every Soviet athlete a "bamboo steamer," and as a
special bonus, throw in the lovely oriental wind chimes.
12) Proclaim a "Say Nice Things About International
Communism Day" during Olympic week.
13) Make Johnny Carson publicly apologize for mooning
Chernenko and the Russian people with his "Russia sucks"
boxer shorts on his show last Friday.
14) Stage a celebrity Family Feud between the Reagans
and Chernenkos. "Heeeere they are, the Chernenko family.
Konstantin, Natasha, Betty, Aurelio, Tito, Jackie, Marlon,
Randy and Jermaine. Ready for action!''
15) Tell them, "Aww heck, you were right. We were so
dumb for putting nuclear missiles in western Europe. What
could we have been thinking?"
So there you have it. Fifteen fresh ideas to lure the
Soviets to L.A. If they can't find at least one of these they like,
well nuts to them. Anyone who passes on the "bamboo
steamer" is probably crazy anyway.

From wire service reports
BLOOMINGTON - Tim McCormick sur-
vived another cut as the Olympic basketball
team was pared down to 16 players Sunday.
Abururn's Charles Barkley, Maurice Martin
of St. Joseph's, John Stockton of Gonzaga and
Terry Porter from Wisconsin-Stevens Point
were the players cut.
Olympic coach Bobby Knight said the team
has had good workouts since the mini camp
began Thursday, including a scrimmage
Saturday night.
"WE WERE kind of ragged to start with,"
Knight said. "We looked like we had forgotten
some things we were working on." But Knight
said as the game wore on, the players' concen-
tration increased.
Assistant coach George Raveling said there
would be no more cuts during the mini camp,
which ends Tuesday. Another four players
must be cut by July 14, the deadline to turn
rosters into the International Olympic Commit-
The remaining 16 players at the camp are

competing for 12 positions on the Olympic
team. The players include McCormick, Patrick
Jordan and Sam Perkins from North Carolina,
Steve Alford of Indiana, Johnny Dawkins of
Duke, Wayman Tisdale of Oklahoma, Alvin
Robertson of Arkansas and Leon Wood of
California State-Fullerton.
JEFF TURNER of Vanderbilt, Chris Mullin
of St. John's, Chuck Person of Auburn, Jon
Koncak of Southern Methodist, Joe Kleine of
Arkansas and Vern Fleming of Georgia.
Raveling also announced the Olympic
basketball team's exhibition schedule. The
opener is June 22 in Bloomington against other
college players, but the other nine games will
be against professional players.
Those games are June 28 in Providence, R.I.,
July 1Sin Minneapolis, July 8 in Iowa City, Iowa,
July 9 at Indianapolis, July 12 in Greensboro,
N.C., July 13 in Milwaukee, July 25 in San
Diego and games July 20 and 21 at sites yet to
be determined.

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