Sports
Page 12
Tuesday, July 13, 1982
SHIFTS FROM FULLBACK TO T AILBACK
The Michigan Daily
Edwards inks contract with Oilers
By RON POLLACK
Former Michigan fullback Stan Ed-
wards signed a series of one year con-
tracts with the Houston Oilers, the team
announed yesterday. And with contract
negotiations now over, Edwards can
concentrate solely on earning a berth
in the Oilers' backfield.
But it will not be fullback that Ed-
wards will be playing, as he did at
Michigan the last two seasons. That
position is very adequately filled by
EArl Campbell. Instead, Edwards will
line up at halfback for Houston.
OILERS' GENERAL manager Ladd
Herzeg says that there will be "a
dogfight" between Edwards and third
year pro Adger Armstrong for the star-
ting halfback spot. Armstrong was
Houston's second leading ground
gainer last year with 146 yards on 31
carries.
Edwards does have some experience
at playing halfback, as it was that
position that he played at Michigan un-
til his junior year when he was switched
to fullback. At a freshman, he started
at tailback in the Rose Bowl against
Washington.
The 6-1, 210 pounder is Michigan's
ninth all-time leading rusher with 2,206
yards. He was an honorable mention
All-American and second team All-Big
Ten selection in each of the last two
seasons. He best season came as a
junior when he rushed for 901 yards, af-
ter a 633 yard sophomore campaign. Last
season, Edwards' total dipped to 445
Yards as he was utilized more as a
blocker.
A third round selection in this year's
college draft, Edwards has the Oilers
impressed. "Everybody is very
pleased with him and likes the program
he came from," said Herzeg. "He runs
well, catches the ball well, blocks well,
he does everything well. He looks likea
complete back."
STAN EDWARDS CARRIES the ball as a fullback for Michigan. Now he is
with the Houston Oilers and will play tailback. The third round draft choice
signed a series of one year contracts yesterday.
r
10
Straight from the
source's mouth
By RON POLLACK
Fan, media expectations too high...
...(
Early in the first quarter at a football stadium.
Joe Fan (to stranger sitting next to him): Can
you believe that our starting quarterback is sit-
ting this game out because of a twisted ankle?
What ever happened to players who play with
pain?
Later that month
Joe Fan: Honey, can you call my boss and tell
him that I won't be going to work today?
Mrs. Fan: Why not?
Joe Fan: I have a cold.
By JOE COLUMNIST
What transpired at The Arena last night set pro
basketball back 10 years. Having clinched a berth
in the playoffs earlier in the week, the Toros
played the last place Marauders as though they
could care less whether they won or lost. The
Toros' players got paid just as much for last
night's loss as they did for any other game of the
year. Furthermore, the fans paid just as much
money for last night's travesty as any other game
of the year. The players are paid and the fans pay
for an all out effort EVERY night. These players
are professionals and should be able to get up for
every game, not just the important ones..
Later that month
Sports Editor: Hey Joe, I'd like you to do a
column on the badminton tournament that's going
on this week.
Joe Columnist: I must have heard you wrong.
For a second there I thought you said that you
wanted me to doa column on badminton.
Sports Editor: That is what I said.
Joe Columnist: What! You want me, Joe
Columnist, to do a column on badminton. Give me
a break, I just broke the biggest story of the year.
Lord only knows how many awards it'll win. And
now you want a story on badminton. I think I'm
ithletes merely
entitled to some time off after the scoop I got us.
Besides, I'm above doing stories on badminton. I
used to do things like that,I paid my dues. But I'm
not intertested in unimportant stories like that
anymore.
The home of Joe Fan. Joe is in his favorite chair
reading the newspaper.
Joe Fan: I can't believe this. Some high school
player had his grades changed so he'd be eligible
for college ball. How could anybody do something
so dishonest. Just because he's a ballplayer, he
thinks he can get away with things that are con-
sidered wrong for anybody else.
Later that month
Mrs. Fan: Dear, do you think it's really honest
to put some of these deductions down on our tax
return. It doesn't seem right. And you didn't put
down the correct amount of our income, we ear-
ned more than this.
Joe Fan: Oh don't worry, everyone else does it.
Besides, if we don't get caught then it's not ac-
tually dishonest. And even if we do get caught, we
can say it was an honest mistake and that we
didn't realize that we'd filled out the return
wrong.
By JOE COLUMNIST
John McEnroe's antics on the courts at this
week's tournament simply cannot be tolerated. His
screaming, swearing and badgering of officials
simply have no place in sport. I've never had the
misfortune of seeing such childish behavior in
person until I attended this week's tourna-
ment ...
Later that month
Joe Columnist: Damn it. I sliced my tee shot
reflect society
again. That's the sixth tee shot in a row that I've
done that.
Golf pro: Why don't you try hooking your tee
shots, and when it slices, it'll slice into the middle
of the fairway.
Joe Columnist: Shut up, nobody likes a smart
ass. What kind of advice is that. You've got to be
the most incompetent golf pro I've ever met. Not
only don't I want to join your club, but I'm never
coming back again.
At a restaurant:
Ten-year-old Joey Fan: Excuse me sir, but
you're my favorite football player of all-time. Can
I have your autograph?
Star football player: I'm sorry, but I never sign
autographs while I'm out having dinner with my
family.
Joe Fan: What's the matter, you think you're
too*good for my kid or something. You guys get a
little notoriety and all of a sudden you think you're
above everyone.
Later that month
Joe Fan: This sure is good meatloaf honey.
Mrs. Fan: Thank you. Oh, there's the phone
ringing. Can you get it.
Joe Fan: OK ... Hello.
Caller: Hello, I'm calling to see if you'd be in-
terested in making a donation to ...
Joe Fan (interrupting the caller): I'm not in-
terested.
Caller: But you haven't even heard who the
donation would be to. It's really a good cause.
Joe Fan: I said I'm not interested. I've worked
hard all day and I just want to be able to enjoy
dinner with my family. I don't want to be
bothered.
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