Sports Page 12 Tuesday, July 13, 1982 SHIFTS FROM FULLBACK TO T AILBACK The Michigan Daily Edwards inks contract with Oilers By RON POLLACK Former Michigan fullback Stan Ed- wards signed a series of one year con- tracts with the Houston Oilers, the team announed yesterday. And with contract negotiations now over, Edwards can concentrate solely on earning a berth in the Oilers' backfield. But it will not be fullback that Ed- wards will be playing, as he did at Michigan the last two seasons. That position is very adequately filled by EArl Campbell. Instead, Edwards will line up at halfback for Houston. OILERS' GENERAL manager Ladd Herzeg says that there will be "a dogfight" between Edwards and third year pro Adger Armstrong for the star- ting halfback spot. Armstrong was Houston's second leading ground gainer last year with 146 yards on 31 carries. Edwards does have some experience at playing halfback, as it was that position that he played at Michigan un- til his junior year when he was switched to fullback. At a freshman, he started at tailback in the Rose Bowl against Washington. The 6-1, 210 pounder is Michigan's ninth all-time leading rusher with 2,206 yards. He was an honorable mention All-American and second team All-Big Ten selection in each of the last two seasons. He best season came as a junior when he rushed for 901 yards, af- ter a 633 yard sophomore campaign. Last season, Edwards' total dipped to 445 Yards as he was utilized more as a blocker. A third round selection in this year's college draft, Edwards has the Oilers impressed. "Everybody is very pleased with him and likes the program he came from," said Herzeg. "He runs well, catches the ball well, blocks well, he does everything well. He looks likea complete back." STAN EDWARDS CARRIES the ball as a fullback for Michigan. Now he is with the Houston Oilers and will play tailback. The third round draft choice signed a series of one year contracts yesterday. r 10 Straight from the source's mouth By RON POLLACK Fan, media expectations too high... ...( Early in the first quarter at a football stadium. Joe Fan (to stranger sitting next to him): Can you believe that our starting quarterback is sit- ting this game out because of a twisted ankle? What ever happened to players who play with pain? Later that month Joe Fan: Honey, can you call my boss and tell him that I won't be going to work today? Mrs. Fan: Why not? Joe Fan: I have a cold. By JOE COLUMNIST What transpired at The Arena last night set pro basketball back 10 years. Having clinched a berth in the playoffs earlier in the week, the Toros played the last place Marauders as though they could care less whether they won or lost. The Toros' players got paid just as much for last night's loss as they did for any other game of the year. Furthermore, the fans paid just as much money for last night's travesty as any other game of the year. The players are paid and the fans pay for an all out effort EVERY night. These players are professionals and should be able to get up for every game, not just the important ones.. Later that month Sports Editor: Hey Joe, I'd like you to do a column on the badminton tournament that's going on this week. Joe Columnist: I must have heard you wrong. For a second there I thought you said that you wanted me to doa column on badminton. Sports Editor: That is what I said. Joe Columnist: What! You want me, Joe Columnist, to do a column on badminton. Give me a break, I just broke the biggest story of the year. Lord only knows how many awards it'll win. And now you want a story on badminton. I think I'm ithletes merely entitled to some time off after the scoop I got us. Besides, I'm above doing stories on badminton. I used to do things like that,I paid my dues. But I'm not intertested in unimportant stories like that anymore. The home of Joe Fan. Joe is in his favorite chair reading the newspaper. Joe Fan: I can't believe this. Some high school player had his grades changed so he'd be eligible for college ball. How could anybody do something so dishonest. Just because he's a ballplayer, he thinks he can get away with things that are con- sidered wrong for anybody else. Later that month Mrs. Fan: Dear, do you think it's really honest to put some of these deductions down on our tax return. It doesn't seem right. And you didn't put down the correct amount of our income, we ear- ned more than this. Joe Fan: Oh don't worry, everyone else does it. Besides, if we don't get caught then it's not ac- tually dishonest. And even if we do get caught, we can say it was an honest mistake and that we didn't realize that we'd filled out the return wrong. By JOE COLUMNIST John McEnroe's antics on the courts at this week's tournament simply cannot be tolerated. His screaming, swearing and badgering of officials simply have no place in sport. I've never had the misfortune of seeing such childish behavior in person until I attended this week's tourna- ment ... Later that month Joe Columnist: Damn it. I sliced my tee shot reflect society again. That's the sixth tee shot in a row that I've done that. Golf pro: Why don't you try hooking your tee shots, and when it slices, it'll slice into the middle of the fairway. Joe Columnist: Shut up, nobody likes a smart ass. What kind of advice is that. You've got to be the most incompetent golf pro I've ever met. Not only don't I want to join your club, but I'm never coming back again. At a restaurant: Ten-year-old Joey Fan: Excuse me sir, but you're my favorite football player of all-time. Can I have your autograph? Star football player: I'm sorry, but I never sign autographs while I'm out having dinner with my family. Joe Fan: What's the matter, you think you're too*good for my kid or something. You guys get a little notoriety and all of a sudden you think you're above everyone. Later that month Joe Fan: This sure is good meatloaf honey. Mrs. Fan: Thank you. Oh, there's the phone ringing. Can you get it. Joe Fan: OK ... Hello. Caller: Hello, I'm calling to see if you'd be in- terested in making a donation to ... Joe Fan (interrupting the caller): I'm not in- terested. Caller: But you haven't even heard who the donation would be to. It's really a good cause. Joe Fan: I said I'm not interested. I've worked hard all day and I just want to be able to enjoy dinner with my family. I don't want to be bothered. 4 4 a }